Major League Baseball announced its lopsided punishments for the brawl involving the Arizona Diamondbacks and Los Angeles Dodgers.
Diamondbacks pitcher Ian Kennedy is suspended for 10 games for throwing a pitch at Zack Greinke's head, and the D-backs' Eric Hinske was suspended for five games for "aggressive actions" -- which apparently includes being punched in the back of the head by Dodgers punk Yasiel Puig, who was not suspended.
If you focus on Hinske throughout the entire video of the brawl, you can see nothing, really, other than Puig punching him in the back of the head.
Again, Puig was fined, not suspended.
While Hinske got five games, J.P. Howell -- who "landed two of the best punches," according to the hometown paper, the L.A. Times -- got a two-game suspension. Howell's also the one who tossed D-backs assistant hitting coach Turner Ward onto a railing à la Wrestlemania. The Dodgers' Skip Schumaker also got two games.
Dodgers reliever Ronald Belisario, who looked like a cross between an amateur MMA fighter and a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle as he swung wildly at anyone and everyone involved in the brawl, got a one-game suspension.
Dodgers hitting coach Mark McGwire, who looked very, ahem, juiced during the brawl, got a two-game suspension for his fit of rage.
Dodgers manager Don Mattingly, who tackled D-backs bench coach Alan Trammell, received a one-game suspension, the same as D-backs skipper Kirk Gibson, who tackled nobody.
If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.
SHOW ME HOW
You have successfully signed up for your selected newsletter(s) - please keep an eye on your mailbox, we're movin' in!
Greinke received a fine, as did D-backs catcher Miguel Montero, and outfielder Gerardo Parra.
You can judge the appropriateness of those suspensions by watching the video of the fight, below: