Phil Mickelson Wins Masters; Puts Focus Back on Tiger Woods' Sex Scandal
The pride and joy of the golf program at Arizona State University, and choke-artist extraordinaire, Phil Mickelson defied the odds and beat sex legend Tiger Woods at the Masters over the weekend and put the media's attention back where it belongs -- on Tiger's sexcipades.
After Tiger's five months away from the media, reporters at the tournament were going out of their way to not ask Tiger about anything sex-related -- probably hoping he would win the green jacket, and there would be a new story about Tiger overcoming the turmoil surrounding his personal life to win. It was hard to watch.
However, by the end of the day on Sunday, it seemed the media was back to focusing on the one question we want answered: Of Joslyn James, Elin Nordegren, and Phil Mickelson, you gotta marry one, fuck one, and kill one? Go.
Within hours of Tiger losing the tournament, tabloids were already back to talking about his mistresses, his marriage, his sex-addiction, and his anger management -- Fox News even jumped on board the Tiger Woods shame train with a story this morning about how sex scandals boost ratings.
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Ratings for this year's Masters increased 50 percent from last year and the jump is being credited to Tiger's scandal.
Phil Mickelson could probably care less about why people watched, because he played awesome.
"Lefty" put himself back into contention with two eagles on Saturday and some nearly flawless play on Sunday.
On the 13th hole on Sunday, Mickelson put his drive into the woods -- one of his few bad shots -- but answered with one of the best golf shots we've ever seen.
From 207 yards out, and with his ball on pine needles, Phil put the ball through the trees and about three feet from the pin. He went on to miss his eagle putt, but birdied the hole.
At the end of the day, Phil got the green jacket, and sex fans everywhere welcomed back the media's overwhelming coverage of Tiger's legendary libido.