A Phoenix man allegedly broke into a woman's home early Saturday morning, took off his pants, and took a seat on the couch next to the woman's daughter, who's less than a year old.
When asked by the homeowner why he was in her house -- and sitting next to an infant -- with his junk out, 20-year-old Jonathan Zed Martinez told her "not to be afraid."
According to court documents obtained by New Times, just after midnight Saturday, Martinez broke into the woman's house through a rear window. He told her he'd just been in a fight and needed a place to hide out.
That's when things got weird.
Martinez then turned out all the lights in the house, went into a bathroom, and when he came out he was wearing nothing but a tank top and shoes -- junk fully exposed. He then sat down on a couch next to the victim's daughter.
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The victim tried to leave the apartment, but Martinez stood in the way of the door, refusing to let her go.
The victim started text messaging friends asking that they call police, which they did.
Police arrived, but Martinez took off running. After a brief, presumably pant-less pursuit, Martinez was taken into custody. He was booked into jail on one count each of kidnapping, misdemeanor indecent exposure, and trespassing. Additionally, he's been booked on two counts of felony indecent exposure.