There are only so many ways someone can try to avoid being arrested inside a second-story apartment.
Judging by the cops' account, Phoenix resident Keith Parton tried just about every single method possible, albeit unsuccessfully.
Police went to an apartment where Parton was staying on a recent afternoon to arrest him on a warrant. The woman who answered the door shouted for Parton to come downstairs to talk to the officers, but he wouldn't come out.
According to court documents obtained by New Times, that's when the escape plans started.
Parton, 26, first tried to jump out of a window on the second floor, but stopped after he saw officers were waiting for him below.
As police entered the apartment, Parton jumped into the attic, but ended up falling through the ceiling, just like Clark W. Griswold in Christmas Vacation:
The difference between Parton and Griswold is that Parton didn't have bunk beds to break his fall.
Officers in the bedroom went in for the arrest, but Parton wiggled away and ran down the hallway.
Parton, who was really starting to show his dedication for avoiding capture, then jumped off a balcony, falling chest-first onto the ground floor, according to the documents.
He got up and ran outside and actually ran across part of the complex before officers arrested him.
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Parton still tried to struggle, but he lost that battle and was transported to jail, both on the warrant for aggravated assault, as well as a new charge of resisting arrest.
According to court documents, Parton's arrest history includes false reporting to police, assault on a police officer, aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, criminal damage, and a probation violation.