Scottsdale Now Offering Jail Time for People Who Get Caught Feeding Birds
Starting today, feeding birds in Scottsdale's public parks can land you in jail.
Like, an actual misdemeanor that would lead to a really awkward conversation in a job interview.
The city recently passed the ordinance, which goes into effect today, makes it a class-two misdemeanor if you get caught being a total criminal by giving bread to a bird.
"The ban is necessary to manage the growing bird population, protect the health of wildlife and improve the quality of water in city lakes," a city press release says.
So any of you Wonder Bread-toting scumbags in the park who get caught trying to wreck the ecosystem can get fined, jailed, and put on probation.
The jail time ranges from a suspended sentence to a maximum of four months, with up to two years on probation and a fine as high as $750, plus surcharges.
Meanwhile, showing off your genitals to a random person over the age of 15 in a public park is only slightly more serious -- a class one misdemeanor -- and you get to do it twice before you end up on a sex offender list.
Or you could feed the birds.
Get the ICYMI: Today's Top Stories Newsletter
Catch up on the day's news and stay informed with our daily digest of the most popular news, music, food and arts stories in Phoenix, delivered to your inbox Monday through Friday.