A California company called "Searching for Bigfoot Inc." claims to have made a discovery in the hills near Flagstaff that could change everything you may think you know about Sasquatches.
In a press release from SFBF, the group claims a man named Larry Jenkins, who lives in "the hills near Flagstaff," called SFBF President Tom Biscardi to tell him about a creature he had been seeing on his property that had all the familiar symptoms of a Bigfoot.
As the two men got to know each other, Jenkins told Biscardi that there was more to the story -- Jenkins had a toenail that probably contained some Bigfoot DNA.
Of course he did.
SFBF says the group sent the "DNA" to an unnamed "prestigious university" for some serious analysis.
Does University of Phoenix On-line have a bio-chemistry department?
SFBF was amazed by the findings.
"The prestigious University that did the analysis was baffled. They told us that the DNA they found was very close to human, but a small percentage was not identifiable," the SFBF press release says. "It was primate, but not like any primate they could identify."
SFBF claims that some of the most compelling evidence of Bigfoot to date is coming out of Northern Arizona, and the group was able to find two separate footprints it believes were made by the mythical creature. Unfortunately, of course, they have no evidence of the prints because the terrain made making a plaster cast impossible.
Making a plaster cast of unicorn shit is impossible, too, but it has nothing to do with "terrain."
We called SFBF, and were shocked when someone actually answered the phone. The woman we talked to told us that nobody could comment on the findings because Biscardi and his "research team" were currently on an expedition.
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That "expedition" is going on right here in Arizona.
The group is said to be in an undisclosed location near Flagstaff, where researchers believe a family of Big(um)feet are living near their base camp. They have set up trip cameras, video surveillance cameras, and audio recorders to help monitor the area.
This is not Arizona's first brush with Bigfoot. A little more than a year ago New Times ran a photo of a suspected family of Sasquatches in roughly the same area that SFBF is currently searching.
Stay tuned, SFBF promises to get back to us to report its findings in Arizona when the expedition is complete.