There's good news and bad news for 60-year-old Shaun Deter, who lost his keys after his vehicle malfunctioned while he was allegedly "super" extremely drunk and driving last night.
The good news: his keys have been found (they were on his dashboard).
The bad news: they were found by a firefighter who Deter flagged down to help him in his search. He's now charged with "super extreme" DUI -- a crime we've never actually heard of, but apparently exists in the Grand Canyon State.
Mohave County Sheriff's Office spokeswoman Trish Carter tells New Times that about 9:15 p.m. yesterday, a firefighter on his way back to his station found Deter -- and his vehicle -- on the shoulder of Stockton Hill Road.
Deter had flagged the fireman down, so he stopped and asked what he needed.
Deter told the fireman his car had malfunctioned as he was driving, so he pulled over. In the process, he'd lost his keys, and was hoping the firefighter could help find them.
The fireman, Carter says, noticed almost immediately that the keys were on the dashboard of Deter's vehicle. Alarmed that Deter was apparently so out of it that he lost his keys on his dashboard, the fireman started to check him out for any possible medical conditions.
No medical problems, though, Deter was just drunk -- really, really, "super-extremely" drunk, according to authorities.
Deter's blood alcohol content was found to be .215, which qualifies him for a "super extreme" DUI.
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SHOW ME HOW
We've heard of Arizona's "extreme" DUI, but "super extreme" DUI sounds a lot like "double secret probation," which, if you've seen Animal House, you know isn't actually a real thing.
So we asked Carter what one needs to do in order to earn "super extreme" DUI status. The answer: get really, really drunk and drive around (flagging down a fireman in the process certainly won't hurt).
Carter says a person can be hit with a "super extreme" DUI if their BAC is above .20. The minimum sentence for a "super extreme" DUI conviction is 45 days in jail under Arizona law
Learn more about "super extreme" DUIs by clicking here.