Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio says he wants to meet Pope Francis while the pontiff is in Mexico for the next five days. Initially, he told the press that what he wanted to speak to the pope about was "confidential." A day later, he grew a little bolder, telling local media that he would ask the pope to pray for his wife Ava, who has cancer.
Could it be that Arpaio really wants to schmooze the international media that's following His Holiness around? Talk about a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for a Joe Show!
See, Francis is the first Latin American pope; he will preside over a historic cross-border mass from Ciudad Juárez; and he plans to pray with migrants at the border. While Joe, on the other hand, has made at least part of a career terrorizing Latinos.
Granted, Arpaio's wish to visit His Holiness may be as simple as Arpaio's PR machine taking advantage of a trending topic on social media. (They do that, you know.) In any case, here are 10 things the most notorious racial-profiler in America might say to the Bishop of Rome should they cross paths:
10.So, is there a loophole in this whole "Love thy neighbor" thing?
9. I want to apologize for rounding up Latinos, to a Latino.
8. I'm tellin' ya, pontiff, all those people killed in my jails had it comin'!
7. C'mon, padre, the Jesus we deported was a landscaper.
6. Shackling pregnant moms is a bad thing? Who knew?
5. Suffer the little children? Oh, I made them suffer, all right!
4. I've decided to investigate Mother Mary's birth certificate to clear up this "immaculate conception" business.
3. Usually, pontiff, people kiss my ring.
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SHOW ME HOW
2. Does "bearing false witness" apply to arresting your enemies on bogus charges?
1. Don't tell me this the first time you've ever blessed an ass, father.