Top 10 Jan Brewer-isms of 2013
Social Eye Media
There may be nothing more American than baseball and apple pie, but there's nothing more Arizonan than guns and Governor Jan Brewer struggling to complete a sentence.
Although the peak of Brewer-isms will likely always be her 2010 debate brain-fart, the nonsense and weirdness keep on comin'. Check out our picks for the top-10 Brewer-isms of 2013:
In January, the Arizona Republic reported that Brewer was taking a "kinder, gentler tone" on immigration. The same week, Brewer's political-action committee sent out an e-mail in the governor's name, seeking donations on her anti-immigrant stance, including a reminder that she worked to pass SB 1070. D'oh.
NBA Preseason Basketball: Phoenix Suns v. San Antonio Spurs
TicketsMon., Oct. 3, 7:00pm
NBA Preseason Basketball: Phoenix Suns v. Utah Jazz
TicketsWed., Oct. 5, 7:00pm
Arizona Coyotes vs. San Jose Sharks
TicketsFri., Oct. 7, 7:00pm
TicketsSat., Oct. 8, 7:00pm
The public doesn't know what was said during the meeting this year between Brewer and President George W. Bush, but we can only imagine that a meeting between America's two biggest brain-farters couldn't have been that pretty.
Before we get into the real Brewer-isms, here's a recent Facebook post on the governor's page. If you're like most people, then it's very unclear why Brewer is defending Christmas, and why she needs help. The best Facebook comment: "Who is attacking Christmas and will AZ be sending soldiers?"
Last year, Brewer got it in her head that she could run for a third term, despite the Arizona Constitution saying a person can only serve for two consecutive terms. No one's really on pins and needles waiting for her decision, it's just kind of annoying for everyone not knowing, especially her hopeful Republican successors. But Brewer tried to hype up her decision on Fox News, with the most awkward question-and-answer imaginable, with Brewer just repeating over and over that she loves her job.
FOX: Which way are you leaning?
BREWER: I love my job, though.
FOX: Which way are you leaning?
BREWER: I love my -- I love my job!
FOX: So is that a hint?
BREWER: I don't know if that's a hint or not, but I do enjoy my job, I really do, and I think that I've done a good job for the state of Arizona.
While Brewer took a tour of the border with local reporters, she stressed to them how important it is to secure the border -- one of her most popular refrains. Finally, the reporters got around to asking what that even means. In one instance, she explained that the best way to know if the border is secure is to "talk to the people living along it." We had to ask Brewer's spokesman for an explanation beyond chit-chats with people who live near the border.
Citing looming budget cuts, Immigration and Customs Enforcement officials released immigrant detainees from Texas, New Jersey, Florida, Louisiana, Alabama, Georgia, and New York, and Arizona. Brewer went to Fox News, complaining this was the federal government's "obvious" payback to Arizona. Take that, Arizona! Undocumented immigrants are running all over the Hamptons and the bayou because of you!
During a Fox News interview on the immigration-reform bill while it was being discussed in the Senate, Brewer was asked whether she thinks "what we're seeing now in the Senate" on immigration was good or bad. Brewer called it "a victory for Arizona." If it sounds weird that Brewer would just openly endorse an immigration-reform bill, that's because it's not what she meant. Despite receiving praise from tons of people, including Arizona's Republican Senators, Brewer eventually had to clarify that she was talking about an amendment to the bill for more border agents and fencing, which hadn't even been voted on at the time.
This year, there was a push for people to stop using the phrase "illegal immigrant" to describe the undocumented in this country. Brewer said she's sticking with "illegal immigrant," and her explanation was, well, read it for yourself:
"To me they're illegal immigrants," Brewer told ABC News. "When you break the law, you're doing something illegal, that makes you an illegal, so they are illegal immigrants."
Here's the Jan Brewer we all know -- the one who can't put together an entire sentence at once, and makes up new sayings.
In another classic Brewer brain-fart, Brewer took several minutes to commemorate the Tusakee, Tusks, Tuh-see-gee, Tuskegee, Tuska-skee, Tuske-tuh, TUSKEGEE, Tus-kee-kee, Tus-kuh-kee Airmen.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you'll never miss Phoenix New Times' biggest stories.