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Top 10 Ways to Identify a Phoenix Native

The Phoenix native is a unique species of desert creature.

Check out our field guide on the 10 best ways to identify such a person in the wild:

10.) They accidentally say America West Arena, Glendale Arena, or Bank One Ballpark

Let's catch a game at BOB!

 

9.) They wear a sweatshirt once the temperature goes below 90 degrees

They'll also wear a sweatshirt to protect themselves from intense air conditioning.

 

8.) They remember where they were during the "Phoenix lights"

It's like the Kennedy assassination, but with aliens.

 

7.) They've actually gone shopping at Metrocenter mall

Top 10 Ways to Identify a Phoenix Native
Google Maps

Yes, people actually used to go shopping at Metrocenter.

 

6.) They think beans and salsa go on a hot dog

. . . and bacon, too.

 

5.) They know the back-story on every building in town

Top 10 Ways to Identify a Phoenix Native
Google Maps

They can tell you all about that green pyramid at Tatum and Shea. They know what old buildings were used for once upon a time. They can identify every local work of Frank Lloyd Wright, but if you credit him with designing the Biltmore, get ready for controversy.

 

4.) They hate Los Angeles

Top 10 Ways to Identify a Phoenix Native

Sometimes they just hate L.A.'s sports teams. Sometimes they just hate the entire state of California. But every Phoenix native can instantly rattle off reasons why Phoenix is better than L.A.

 

3.) They instinctively park under shade cover

Top 10 Ways to Identify a Phoenix Native

Completely empty parking lot? Well, there's a dinky little tree in the back, so get ready for a hike.

 

2.) They can describe what a cactus tastes like

Most likely the fruit of a prickly pear.

 

1.) They say "it's a dry heat" as a defense mechanism

Yes, it's true, there generally isn't much humidity to speak of in Phoenix, but people use the phrase "it's a dry heat" very defensively. Don't complain about it being 120 degrees outside, because someone's bound to bark back, "BUT IT'S A DRY HEAT," as if you'll no longer be hot due to this revelation.

Follow Valley Fever on Twitter at @ValleyFeverPHX.


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