Top 10 Ways to Identify a Phoenix Native
The Phoenix native is a unique species of desert creature.
Check out our field guide on the 10 best ways to identify such a person in the wild:
10.) They accidentally say America West Arena, Glendale Arena, or Bank One Ballpark
Let's catch a game at BOB!
9.) They wear a sweatshirt once the temperature goes below 90 degrees
They'll also wear a sweatshirt to protect themselves from intense air conditioning.
8.) They remember where they were during the "Phoenix lights"
It's like the Kennedy assassination, but with aliens.
7.) They've actually gone shopping at Metrocenter mall
Yes, people actually used to go shopping at Metrocenter.
6.) They think beans and salsa go on a hot dog
. . . and bacon, too.
5.) They know the back-story on every building in town
They can tell you all about that green pyramid at Tatum and Shea. They know what old buildings were used for once upon a time. They can identify every local work of Frank Lloyd Wright, but if you credit him with designing the Biltmore, get ready for controversy.
4.) They hate Los Angeles
Sometimes they just hate L.A.'s sports teams. Sometimes they just hate the entire state of California. But every Phoenix native can instantly rattle off reasons why Phoenix is better than L.A.
3.) They instinctively park under shade cover
Completely empty parking lot? Well, there's a dinky little tree in the back, so get ready for a hike.
2.) They can describe what a cactus tastes like
Most likely the fruit of a prickly pear.
1.) They say "it's a dry heat" as a defense mechanism
Yes, it's true, there generally isn't much humidity to speak of in Phoenix, but people use the phrase "it's a dry heat" very defensively. Don't complain about it being 120 degrees outside, because someone's bound to bark back, "BUT IT'S A DRY HEAT," as if you'll no longer be hot due to this revelation.
Follow Valley Fever on Twitter at @ValleyFeverPHX.
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