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Valley Fever's 10 Most-Read Stories of 2013

Valley Fever's 10 Most-Read Stories of 2013



With the year coming to an end, we thought we'd share our most-read stories this year.

From depraved criminals, to a horrific accident, to the dumb things people wanted to get on their license plates, and even this story about a certain Arizona sheriff not wearing any clothes, we bring you our 10 most-read stories of the year:

10.) Christopher Jackson Branded His Initials Into His Girlfriend's Vagina, Police Say

Valley Fever's 10 Most-Read Stories of 2013
Loren Kerns via Flickr

 

A Chandler man drugged his girlfriend and branded his initials into her vagina while she was passed out, police say. Christopher Lynn Jackson, the owner of a landscaping business called Lawn Tamers, "bragged" to his now-ex-girlfriend about doing the same thing to other girlfriends in the past, according to court documents.

See also: Christopher Jackson Branded His Initials Into His Girlfriend's Vagina, Police Say

 

9.) Nina Koistinen Says She Killed Her 6-Day-Old Baby Because She "Had Too Many Kids Already"

Valley Fever's 10 Most-Read Stories of 2013
Tex Texin via Flickr

 

A Phoenix mother admitted to killing her 6-day-old baby girl because she "had too many kids already," police say. According to court documents, the woman, 36-year-old Nina Koistinen, has prior run-ins with Child Protective Services and previously had said she wanted her children "to go to heaven in a vehicle accident that appeared intentional."

See also: Nina Koistinen Says She Killed Her 6-Day-Old Baby Because She "Had Too Many Kids Already"

 

8.) Doug Stanhope Raising Thousands for Tornado Survior Who Told Wolf Blitzer She's an Atheist

Valley Fever's 10 Most-Read Stories of 2013

 

Comedian Doug Stanhope, a Bisbee resident, has helped raise more than $100,000 for a woman whose house was destroyed in the Oklahoma tornado. Stanhope tells New Times that he started raising funds for Rebecca Vitsmun after her widely-seen interview on CNN, in which anchor Wolf Blitzer asked her if she "thank[ed] the Lord" for her family's decision to leave their house before it was destroyed by the tornado, and Vitsmun gave a response that became an instant classic -- she's actually an atheist.

See also: Doug Stanhope Raising Thousands for Tornado Survior Who Told Wolf Blitzer She's an Atheist

 

7.) Man With Serious Dislike of Circumcision May Have the Worst Custom License Plate in Arizona

Valley Fever's 10 Most-Read Stories of 2013
Matthew Hendley

 

Here's a guy who's not ashamed to let everyone know how he feels about penises. This truck with the "NOCIRCM" license plate was spotted in Phoenix, along the Loop 202 Red Mountain Freeway.

See also: Man With Serious Dislike of Circumcision May Have the Worst Custom License Plate in Arizona

 

6.) Phoenix Man Dead After Sister's Gun Goes Off While Posing for Gangsta Photo

Valley Fever's 10 Most-Read Stories of 2013
Facebook

 

Phoenix police say a man was killed on New Year's Eve after being accidentally shot by his sister, who was playing with a gun while the two were posing for photos. Judging by previous photos of now-deceased 22-year-old Manuel Ortiz, this situation is not incredibly hard to believe.

See also: Phoenix Man Dead After Sister's Gun Goes Off While Posing for Gangsta Photo

 

5.) Rickesha Burns Accused of Shoving Vibrator Into 2-Year-Old Son's Anus

Valley Fever's 10 Most-Read Stories of 2013

 

A Phoenix woman is accused of shoving a vibrator into her 2-year-old son's anus, and doctors told police that surgery will be required to remove it. According to court documents, 21-year-old Rickesha Burns called police, reporting that her son was bleeding from his anus, and said she didn't know what happened.

See also: Rickesha Burns Accused of Shoving Vibrator Into 2-Year-Old Son's Anus

 

4.) Reverend Al Sharpton Reveals on National Television that the Emperor of Pinal County, Paul Babeu, Has No Clothes

Valley Fever's 10 Most-Read Stories of 2013

 

We all know the Danish tale about the emperor whose men and subjects stroke him in admiration over his new clothes. Of course, as the story goes, the emperor actually is naked. Instead of questioning the obvious, everyone basks in a collective ignorance. Until a little boy in the crowd shouts that the emperor has no clothes. Reverend Al Sharpton was that little boy -- exposing as false Pinal County Sheriff Paul Babeu's vacant rhetoric about President Barack Obama acting like a "king" and "dictator." Sharpton also revealed the nonsense of Babeu's pledge to defy what the sheriff describes as Obama's unconstitutional executive orders regarding gun control.

See also: Reverend Al Sharpton Reveals on National Television that the Emperor of Pinal County, Paul Babeu, Has No Clothes

 

3.) Arizona's List of Rejected Custom License Plates Will Make You Lose Faith in Humanity

Valley Fever's 10 Most-Read Stories of 2013

 

If you're the type of person who still has faith in humanity, you probably haven't seen the list of 27,438 custom license plates that have been rejected in Arizona. This list includes people who wanted to drive around every day with their license plates reading "BBYDCK," "HOTNUTZ," "VAGKING," or one of the 27,435 other mostly stupid ideas that have been rejected.

See also: Arizona's List of Rejected Custom License Plates Will Make You Lose Faith in Humanity

 

2.) Arizona Man Doesn't Have Lifetime Ban From Walmart for Price-Matching

Valley Fever's 10 Most-Read Stories of 2013
Walmart Corporate via Flickr

 

If it sounds like the viral story of a Pinal County man getting a lifetime ban from Walmart for price-matching is too good to be true, the Pinal County Sheriff's Office says that's because it is. ABC 15, which ran the story of a man named Joe Cantrell, who claimed he got a lifetime ban from the store for his frequent use of Walmart's policy of matching other stores' prices on items, is getting called out by PCSO.

See also: Arizona Man Doesn't Have Lifetime Ban From Walmart for Price-Matching

 

1.) Atheist State Lawmaker Quotes Carl Sagan Instead of Doing Prayer Before House Session

Valley Fever's 10 Most-Read Stories of 2013
Dave Newman via Flickr

 

An atheist state lawmaker tasked with delivering the opening prayer for the House of Representatives asked that people not bow their heads. Democratic Representative Juan Mendez, of Tempe, instead spoke about his "secular humanist tradition" and even quoted author Carl Sagan.

See also: Atheist State Lawmaker Quotes Carl Sagan Instead of Doing Prayer Before House Session

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Follow Matthew Hendley on Twitter at @MatthewHendley.



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