Some weeks just tend to bring out the criminal weirdness more than others, and this was one of those weeks.
From a chubby fellow's attempt to smuggle drugs in his belly button, to an "irate" woman at the airport threatening that her boyfriend will have sex with a cop's daughter, to a truck driver tying up teenage girls, and a guy screaming about being eaten by cats, some weird stuff's been going on out there.
Below, we'll list out some of the weirdest alleged crimes this week around Arizona, and below that, vote for which one you think is the absolute worst.
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- Border Agents Find Heroin Stuffed in a Guy's Belly Button
Customs and Border Protection says 35-year-old Tucson resident Calvin C. Howard III tried to smuggle heroin into the United States with a couple big packages of heroin strapped to his waist, and a smaller package stuffed into his belly button. Of course, authorities provided us with a photo of the heroin in this guy's belly button.
- Truck Driver Addicted to Bondage Accused of Tying Up Teen Girl
Police say the husband of a Phoenix theater director "concocted an elaborate scheme" to tie up two teen student-actresses at the theater for his own sexual gratification. David Harris, a 32-year-old truck driver, admitted to tricking the girls, ages 15 and 18, into being tied up at Xpressions Dance Theatre Music in North Phoenix, citing an "addiction to bondage acts and pornography," according to court documents.
- Scottsdale Woman Threatens "Black Boyfriend" Will Have Sex With Cop's Daughter
A Southwest Airlines employee at Sky Harbor airport called police last week to report an "irate" Scottsdale woman who was yelling and screaming after being informed that she wouldn't be flying to California that day. Turns out, "irate" was an understatement, as police say 37-year-old Jill Pemberton kicked two cops, threatened to kill them, threatened that her "black boyfriend" was going to have anal sex with one cop's daughter, and spit on another cop, according to court documents.
- Cleaning Lady Finds Teenager's IED
A woman cleaning a house in Tempe stumbled upon a teenager's improvised explosive device. Joshua Prater, an 18-year-old senior at Marcos de Niza High School, told police yesterday that he built the device when he was 10 years old, and said he didn't know it was filled with explosive powder, according to court documents.
- Mesa Man Says He Got Chomped on by Cats
A Mesa resident got an unexpected visitor to his apartment Saturday night -- Derrick McDonald, who police say walked into the apartment to scream about being eaten by (likely imaginary) cats. For some reason, Mesa police officers are inclined to believe that McDonald may have ingested some sort of illicit drug prior to this incident.