I've always loathed Thanksgiving, so don't expect some column from me telling you how to cook a turkey with a beer can stuck up its butt, or where to snarf the best stuffing in the Valley. Everything about the holiday nauseates me: the enforced familial bonding; the orgy of unoriginal overindulgence; the flatulent, recumbent stultification brought on by eating too much gobbler; the football and mindless parades. But I'm most grossed out by that flavorless fowl at the center of... More >>>