The other night, you were taking your dog Sigmund for a stroll when you suddenly fell into a gaping manhole. You plummeted down the dark utility vault, landing on a springy, cushioned surface. In the distance, you could see a group of gymnasts exercising in a frenzy, their clean-shaven bodies squeaking like excited rubber chickens. You couldn’t believe your eyes. You had discovered the underground lair of the Shamed Division of U.S. Gymnasts, that group of athletes who were barred from the sport for actually having regular periods and for never having partaken in Summer Camp for... More >>>