Hey, you. Are you looking for something to do to escape your family on this fine holiday?
We've gone through the past 12 months of arts and culture stories and picked out the most popular from each month. You can now bury your head in your computer and look at all the crazy, fun, cool, and stupid stuff people have done throughout the past year. Enjoy.
January
Arizona Girls Record Racist YouTube Rant about Immigration (NSFW)
By Claire Lawton
In the latest, grossest example of (lacking human dignity and) not anticipating social media backlash after releasing a long-winded, hateful tirade to millions of viewers on the internet, comes a group of Arizona girls who decided to get together to talk about "Mexican immigration" and the "new Arizona law that just passed the legislator (sic)."
The video -- almost six minutes long -- was pulled from YouTube and the creators deleted their YouTube account shortly after their inboxes and social media accounts were flooded with video responses and hate mail.
February
Jason Wu for Target: The Good, The Bad, and The Stuff We'll Tear Your Hair Out Over
By Becky Bartkowski
If you're losing your mind with excitement over Jason Wu's diffusion line for Target, but you can't handle waiting any longer, then you're in luck. Pieces from the Taiwanese, Manhattan-based designer's capsule collection have made their way to eBay.
There's just one tiny, little catch: prices inflated by more than 250 percent.
We advise that you take the traditional route -- speed to every Target in a five-mile radius (okay maybe 10) until you find what's rightfully yours at a reasonable price point. (Just kidding. Don't speed.)
At last check you can still order a couple pieces online.
March
Five Things You Should Know Before Dating a Gamer
By Alex Weiss
Millions of people spend their 70-ish years of mortal coil playing video games. And as a member of such group, I pity the ones who love us.
Finishing quests and beating high scores are among a number of reasons why we end up on the couch after a long night of, "Sure, I'll stop playing after one more level."
Sometimes things go well, and the intense devotion we have for cover systems and regenerating health makes room for a human being with actual emotions to care about. If you're lucky enough to go out with a gamer, here are five things you should probably know first.
April
Ten Favorite Dive Bars in Greater Phoenix - Phoenix Arts - Jackalope Ranch
By Benjamin Leatherman
In the mood for a little slumming? Any of the dank dives populating metro Phoenix are sure to do the trick, each of which offer cheap booze, cheap thrills, and memorable drinking experiences aplenty.
While many of our favorite local dives have fallen by the wayside (such as Neuman's, Pete's Newsroom, Six East, or Mecca Lounge) over the years, plenty of other beer and booze joints dot the Valley landscape and feature all the hallmarks of a classic dive experience: Furnishings held together with duct tape, copious stains of a questionable nature, and various pickled foodstuffs lurking about in jars.
Here's our list of some of the best places to get a little bit of the lowlife in your nightlife.
May
By Claire Lawton
In a prime example of great parenting and self-awareness, 44-year-old Patricia Krentcil of New Jersey was arrested and charged with felony child endangerment after she allegedly took her daughter to a local tanning salon and put her in one of the booths.
While she denies allowing her daughter into the tanning bed, she does say her 5-year-old was in the room with her and had a sunburn the next day from playing outside. "It's like taking your daughter to go food shopping," Krentcil said. "There's tons of moms that bring their children in."
New Jersey state law prohibits children under the age of 14 from entering tanning booths and specifies that children between the ages of 14 and 17 must be accompanied by an adult. That said, skin like Krentcil's is just one of many reasons why anyone (and everyone) should spare themselves from the hotbox.
June
Strip Search Casting Call Brings Droves of Exotic Dancers to Stratus (NSFW)
By Benjamin Leatherman
What would happen if you got more than 100 strippers in the same room and started blasting hip-hop jams? Probably the same sort of wild scene that ensued at Stratus during the casting call for reality show Strip Search.
Dozens of ecdysiasts and exotic dancers from a variety of Valley strip clubs shook their bikini-clad booties, pulled off aerial moves on stripper poles, and made like they were extras in a Lil' Jon music video all evening at the West Phoenix rave venue. Check out our slideshow of the stripper shenanigans right here and read the rundown of the night.
July
Laurie Notaro's Five Reasons Why Haboobs Are Awesome
5. In less than 30 seconds, a respectable Haboob can fill the artificial cleavage of every Scottsdale housewife racing from Lucy to the safety of her Land Rover in the parking lot at Kierland.
Bejeweled flip flops aren't natural disaster-friendly footwear, and some may actually topple over due to their tank tops becoming filled like the sands in an hour glass. It may take days to months to find survivors, or sadly, (kinda not, I'm just being nice) only squishy silicone pillows behind the Cheesecake Factory in huddled piles surrounded by plastic diamonds and patches of glitter. Read the full list of why Haboobs are awesome here.
August
10 of the World's Most Famous Conjoined Twins
By Claire Lawton
According to the University of Maryland Medical Center one in every 200,000 live twin births worldwide are conjoined, though 40 to 60 percent are stillborn and 35 percent of those who survive only live for a day.
Conjoined Twins (less commonly referred to as Siamese Twins following the birth of Chang and Eng Bunker in Siam), are genetically identical, develop from the same egg, and often share vital human organs and limbs.
Abby and Brittany Hensel are about to be the United States' most famous conjoined twins. Their lives "Abby & Brittany," was featured in a documentary series which aired September 28th on TLC. Here's a quick look at their story, plus the stories of nine pairs who've made history around the world.
September
Laurie Notaro Writes a Handy Manual for Her Husband ... In Case She Dies Before He Does
By Laurie Notaro
After a close call with the Big Sleep, my thoughts went not exactly to my own life, but to that of my husband's. What would happen to him if I died?
Yes, there would be a short period of mourning followed by a longer one of jubilation and buoyant celebration of freedom, but what exactly does that freedom mean? It means that on any given day, my husband stands on the brink of expiration numerous times a day and would no doubt succumb without the proper supervision.
Therefore, with the help of several of my long-time married girlfriends, I have created A Handy Manual for a Widower, My Husband. I wrote my intro with some personal touches, but feel free to pen your own, filled with your individual inspirations.
October
By Benjamin Leatherman
When it comes to the professional wrestling world, there are few bigger icons than Sting. Both a living legend and general of the ring, he's been a part of the business for more than 25 years and has held more than 12 world championships in that time.
Currently one of the venerated members of Total Nonstop Action (a.k.a. WWE's chief rival in the wrestling world), Sting is gearing up for a match-up with the dastardly team of Aces and Eights at TNA's Bound for Glory pay-per-view, which takes place at Grand Canyon University Arena. Jackalope Ranch spoke with Sting via telephone and got his thoughts on his big match, as well as his feelings about Aces and Eights, the possibility of retiring from wrestling, and his reaction to the recent controversy involving fellow TNA star Hulk Hogan and his sex tape. Read the full interview with Sting here.
November
Our Nine Favorite Faces of Tardar Sauce, The Grumpy Cat from Arizona
By Claire Lawton
To the surprise of no one with a Tumblr account or more than 500 friends on Facebook, Tardar Sauce the cat is making some serious rounds on the meme-infested internet.
And to the relief of anyone with a desk job or a cat thing, her Arizona-based owners have launched a Tardar Sauce Tumblr with daily pictures of their grumpy cat.
According to Tardar Sauce's online profile, she's a "Munchkin" breed cat with achondroplasia, which causes her to permanently frown -- and be the subject of endless memes, animated .GIFs, and Halloween pumpkin designs. If you haven't been exposed to the frown of Tardar Sauce, here's a recap.
December
10 Favorite Strip Clubs in Metro Phoenix (NSFW)
By Benjamin Leatherman
Local strippers and the clubs that employ them have had to put up some major crap from government in past few months. In case you hadn't heard, a cadre of uptight right-wing officials and politicos (including a few members of Arizona Legislature) have been attempting to get nanny-state laws passed that would redefine nudity in strip joints and restrict how dancers get their grind on with patrons.
While legislation has stalled for the moment, it could eventually pass -- especially given the whacked nature of our nutty state government. In other words, better enjoy your constitutional right to see some skin or be on the receiving end of a lap-dance just in case it gets taken away from you. If you need assistance in picking out the perfect place, we've assembled a list of 10 of favorite strip clubs from the dozens upon dozens of flesh parlors that dot the Valley.
