Beyond the flash, though, it's striking to note just how many movies will require us to actually think this summer. (Aren't we supposed to save thinking for the fall?) Maybe it's the election, but there are some pretty serious and intense flicks coming our way — docs and foreign films and dramas that don't guarantee a happy ending. The distributors must be nuts, but in a sweetly brave and naive way. So, as an act of solidarity, we're taking the pledge: For every movie we see that's playing on more than one screen at the multiplex, we hereby vow to see one film that might be good for us. Because after all, as with pop idols and presidents, we get the movies that we deserve. (All dates are tentative and may not reflect their movies' release dates in the Phoenix area.)
THRILLS & CHILLS
The Mother of Tears: Dario Argento directs his daughter, Asia Argento, as an art student who inadvertently frees a demonic witch from an ancient urn. Concludes a trilogy that began with 1977's eternally creepy Suspiria. (June 6)
The Incredible Hulk: Edward Norton goes green. (June 13)
Wanted: Angelina Jolie, once again channeling her inner assassin, teaches James McAvoy the tricks of the trade in this adaptation of Mark Miller's graphic novel. With Morgan Freeman. (June 27)
Hancock: Will Smith as a modern-day superhero who's becoming more famous for being drunk than for his ability to lift a whale with one hand. (July 2)
Hellboy: The Golden Army: Ron Perlman returns as the lobster-hued demon with the mean right punch, and this time he's guided by Pan's Labyrinth director Guillermo del Toro. (July 11)
Mad Detective: Hong Kong action masters Johnnie To and Wai Ka-Fai team up for this tale of an insane detective (literally) and his search for two missing cops. Watch for the split personality/split screen scene. (July 18)
The Dark Knight: Batman (Christian Bale) versus the Joker (Heath Ledger). And an excuse for the tabs to rehash Ledger's death for newsstand sales. Christopher Nolan directs. (July 18)
Red: When teen hoodlums shoot Brian Cox's dog Red, the pissed-off owner seeks revenge — but the little killer's dad (Tom Sizemore) has evil ideas of his own. (July 25)
The X-Files: I Want To Believe: David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson return as Mulder and Scully, a sorta-kinda couple whose kid must be in high school by now. (July 25)
Midnight Meat Train: Bradley Cooper stars as a Manhattan photographer who becomes obsessed with finding a subway serial killer. The first in a series of films to be based on Clive Barker's hardcore horror collection, "Books of Blood." (August 1)
The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor: Brendan Fraser, lifelong Mummy catcher, goes to China. (August 1)
Transsiberian: An American couple (Woody Harrelson, Emily Mortimer) find themselves enmeshed in a murderous drug plot aboard the fabled express train between China and Russia. With Ben Kingsley. (August 1)
Mirrors: In this remake of a South Korean film, Kiefer Sutherland battles a vengeful ghost in a haunted department store. In other words, stay out of the dressing room.
(August 15)
Bangkok Dangerous: Nicholas Cage is a hitman on assignment in this action thriller from China's talented Pang Brothers (The Eye), here remaking their 1999 debut film.
(August 15)
Traitor: A CIA terrorist thriller starring Don Cheadle and Guy Pearce and based on a story idea from — wait for it — Steve Martin.
(August 29)
Babylon A.D.: Vin Diesel in a near future world all gone to hell, trying to protect a woman whose baby will be the next Messiah. Don't worry: Vin will save us. (August 29)
DRAMA-RAMA
When Did You Last See Your Father?: Colin Firth as an English writer attempting to reconcile with his ailing, larger-than-life father, played by Jim Broadbent. Based on Blake Morrison's acclaimed memoir of his 1950s childhood. (June 6)
Quid Pro Quo: A mysterious woman (Vera Farmiga) leads a young radio reporter (Nick Stahl) into the strange world of those who desire — and not necessarily in a sexual way — to be disabled or maimed. (June 13)
Brick Lane: A young Muslim woman (Tannishtha Chatterjee), born in Bangladesh, rebels against convention in modern day London. (June 20)
Expired: Love — or is it abuse? — blossoms between a shy meter maid (Samantha Morton) and her aggressive co-worker (Jason Patric). This film marks a welcome return to the screen by the recently ill, and always delightful, Teri Garr, in a dual role. (June 20)
August: Josh Hartnett is a Manhattan entrepreneur riding the rise and rapid fall of the dot-com boom-and-bust. (Not a horror movie.) (July 11)
Boy A: After spending most of his life in prison for a notorious crime, a young man (Andrew Garfield) adjusts to life on the outside. (July 23)
Baghead: In a film reported to be heavier on character development than psycho-terror, two couples in a remote cabin are being watched by a potential killer. Oddly, this is a mumblecore movie (by the brothers Duplass). (July 25)
Brideshead Revisited: A wildly popular '80s PBS mini-series, Evelyn Waugh's classic novel of English manners comes to the screen with Matthew Goode as Waugh's narrator and Emma Thompson as the lady of the manor. (July 25)
Henry Poole Is Here: A dying man (Luke Wilson) is forced to face his religious beliefs when his neighbors begin to see Christ's face in a stain on the side of his house. (July 25)
The Longshots: Although it's probably the last film people would have expected him to helm, rock star Fred Durst make his directorial debut with the true story of the teenage girl who became the first female to play on a Pop Warner football team. Akeelah and the Bee's Keke Palmer stars, with Ice Cube as the coach. (July 25)
Severed Ways: The Norse Discovery of America: Two Vikings lost in 11th-century North America attempt to survive, and then rebuild, while struggling to overcome their instinct toward war. Features very little dialogue and a reportedly intense rock soundtrack. Headbangers take notice. (July 25)
A Thousand Years of Good Prayers: Director Wayne Wang (Eat a Bowl of Tea, The Joy Luck Club) returns to his indie roots with the story of a elderly man (Henry O) who comes from China to Spokane to visit his newly divorced daughter. (July 25)
Choke: A sex-addicted con artist (Sam Rockwell), his deranged mother (Anjelica Huston), and a recovering chronic masturbator (Brad Henke) populate Clark Gregg's adaptation of Chuck "Fight Club" Palahniuk's novel. (August 1)
Elegy: Ben Kingsley is a womanizing English professor who's slowly come unraveled by his obsessive affair with a student (Penelope Cruz). Based on a novella by Philip Roth, with Dennis Hopper and Patricia Clarkson. (August 8)
Towelhead: A love it or loathe it film from Alan Ball (American Beauty, Six Feet Under) about a 13-year-old Lebanese-American girl (Summer Bushil) who encounters racism and sexual abuse when she moves to Houston. With Aaron Eckhart. (August 8)
Crossing Over: Harrison Ford, Sean Penn, Ray Liotta, Ashley Judd, and Summer Bushil crash into each other in director Wayne Kramer's multi-story exploration of life in immigrant Los Angeles. (August 22)
JUST THE FACTS
Encounters at the End of the World: Werner Herzog, who knows a thing or two about living life to the extreme, heads to Antarctica to meet the researchers who man one of the world's most remote science stations. (June 11)
Chris & Don: A Love Story: In this moving documentary, artist Don Bachardy looks back on his 40-year relationship with writer Christopher Isherwood, whose Berlin Stories inspired the musical Cabaret. (June 13)
My Winnipeg: Utilizing his signature mix of silent film, animation, and delightfully weird melodrama, Canadian filmmaker Guy Maddin composes a love letter to his Canadian hometown. (June 13)
Gunnin' For That #1 Spot: Beastie Boy Adam Yauch tracks eight high school basketball players — NBA contenders all — as they prepare for a showcase game in Harlem's legendary Rucker Park. (June 27)
Trumbo: This tribute to blacklisted screenwriter Dalton Trumbo (Roman Holiday, Johnny Got His Gun), written by his playwright son, Christopher, features readings by Joan Allen, Kirk and Michael Douglas, and Paul Giamatti. (June 27)
Gonzo: The Life & Work of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson: With the help of Johnny Depp, illustrator Ralph Steadman, and a treasure trove of 1960s and '70s archival footage, filmmaker Alex Gibney (Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room, Taxi to the Dark Side) tracks the life of the mad-genius journalist. (July 4)
Religulous: Comedian Bill Maher takes on religion in this documentary from Curb Your Enthusiasm director Larry Charles. (July 11)
Lou Reed's Berlin: In a concert film directed by Julian Schnabel (The Diving Bell and the Butterfly), Lou Reed performs, for the first time ever, his magnificent 1973 song-cycle, "Berlin." (July 18)
American Teen: In this Sundance hit, filmmaker Nanette Burstein (The Kid Stays in the Picture) tracks a year in the life of four Indiana teens. (July 25)
TAKE THE KIDS
Kung Fu Panda: Po the Panda learns martial arts in order to protect his village against a marauding snow leopard. Featuring the voices of Dustin Hoffman and Jack Black. (June 6)
WALL•E: The new computer toon from Pixar director Andrew Stanton (Finding Nemo) takes place 700 years in the future when a lonely Earth robot called WALL•E and a sleek robot from space named EVE team up for adventure. (June 27)
Kit Kittredge: An American Girl: In a role likely to make Dakota Fanning pea green with envy, Abigail Breslin stars as Kit, the mystery-solving 10-year-old heroine of the popular Depression-era book series. (July 2)
Journey to the Center of the Earth 3D: Brendan Fraser digs deep. (July 11)
Space Chimps: Animated monkeys blast into space to head off approaching aliens. (July 18)
Fly Me to the Moon: Animated 3-D astronaut flies (very cute flies) go to the moon. (August 8)
The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2: The magic jeans follow America Ferrera, Amber Tamblyn, Blake Lively, and Alexis Bledel to college and beyond. (August 8)
Star Wars: The Clone Wars: George Lucas, who sure knows how to stretch an idea, produced this animated film about Anakin Skywalker's glorious Jedi days, before Darth got his mitts on him. (August 15)
Wild Child: Emma Roberts (Nancy Drew) as a spoiled Malibu teen (is there any other kind?) who's sent to a strict English boarding school. (August 22)
A LAUGH RIOT
The Go-Getter: A 19-year-old (Lou Taylor Pucci) encounters Zooey Deschanel and Jena Malone after stealing a car to head across country to find his long lost brother. (June 6)
Miss Conception: Heather Graham has one month to conceive a child and enlists her friend (Mia Kirshner) to help her find a father. But that's not all! The title has a double meaning! (June 6)
The Promotion: John C. Reilly and Seann William Scott duke it out for the manager job at a Chicago grocery store in this consumer satire from writer-director Steve Conrad, who penned The Pursuit of Happyness. (June 6)
You Don't Mess With the Zohan: A pumped-up Adam Sandler stars as an Israeli Mossad agent fulfilling his lifelong dream of becoming a Brooklyn hairstylist. (June 6)
Get Smart: Steve Carell is Maxwell Smart and Anne Hathaway Agent 99 in this film version of the mid-1960s TV show about an inept super-spy and his smarter, sexier sidekick.
(June 20)
The Love Guru: Mike Myers dons a Mahatma beard and golden swami robes to play an American raised in India who dreams of becoming a Brooklyn hairstylist (or America's go-to self-help guru). With Jessica Alba and Justin Timberlake. (June 20)
Diminished Capacity: On the heels of his wife's SATC shebang, Matthew Broderick opens another movie, this time starring as a brain-injured man who hits the road with his dementia-addled uncle (Alan Alda) and high-school sweetheart (Virginia Madsen). (July 4)
Step Brothers: Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly reunite as newly related men who discover that two fools are better than one. (July 25)
Meet Dave: Dave (Eddie Murphy) is an alien, new to Earth. Dave tries to adjust to Manhattan life, all the while being supervised by a command post of tiny (alien) people in his head (whom we see). (July 11)
Kenny: Kenny Smyth (Shane Jacobson), Australian porta-potty entrepreneur, hopes to find a little respect at a Nashville convention of . . . porta-potty entrepreneurs. (July 11)
The Rocker: Rainn Wilson steps out of The Office and into leather pants for this comedy about a failed rock drummer getting a second chance — with his nephew's high school band. (August 1)
Pineapple Express: Seth Rogen and James Franco are stoned on the best weed of their life, and also running for their lives from a killer cop, in a film penned by Rogen and his Superbad writing partner Evan Goldberg and directed by indie darling David Gordon Green. (August 8)
Bottle Shock: Based on the true story of a French wine shop owner (Alan Rickman) who traveled to Napa in 1976 to set up a blind taste test between French and California wines. The must-see summer flick for wine lovers. (August 15)
Tropic Thunder: Ben Stiller (who also directs), Jack Black, and Robert Downey Jr. go all Rambo as Hollywood actors who don't realize that their military training is actually in a real war. With Tom Cruise in a fat suit cameo all the world wants to see (including you). (August 14)
The House Bunny: Ditzy Playboy bunny Anna Faris becomes college sorority house mother, a plot line that must have made for a terribly efficient pitch meeting.
(August 22)
Vicky Cristina Barcelona: Woody Allen down Barcelona way, steering Javier Bardem, Penelope Cruz, and Scarlett Johansson (yet again) through the complications of three-way love. (August 29)
DANCING QUEEN
Mamma Mia!: Meryl Streep, Pierce Brosnan, Colin Firth, and Amanda Seyfried dance and sing to the music of — who else? — ABBA. (July 25)
