Christie's Cabaret

The overriding philosophy of topless strip club chain Christie’s Cabaret seems to be that bigger is, indeed, better. All three of its Valley locations dwarf competitors in terms of venue size and revenue alone, serving as the sand-kicking 900-pound heavyweight to everyone else’s pipsqueak runt. Then there’s the chain’s enormous emphasis on unrivaled opulence and posh amenities, illustrated by the multimillion-dollar lavish design of the East Phoenix location at 32nd Street and Van Buren. Imputed Italian marble tile covered every square inch of the 19,000 square-foot floorspace while busts of Caesar and numerous bronze nudes of Venus and Aphrodite frolic within a Dionysian-meets-museum setting. Three premium spirits tasting rooms and close to a half-dozen VIP room are throughout. Over at Christie’s Tempe, across the street from Arizona Mills Mall, ornate gold furnishings and Louis XIV style furniture dominate. Both are also big on bubbly, with individual champagne rooms and 75 high-end brands like Cristal, Dom Pérignon, and Taittinger ready to be popped. (The newest addition in Glendale, the old Pink Cabaret, was purchased in 2012 and a renovation is in the works to bring it in line with the rest of the empire.) And they also have dancers, too, all of which are model-quality and many from such far-flung continents as Europe and South America. There’s gotta someone to keep the money rolling in, right?