Song: "Amish Paradise" (1996)
Parody of: Coolio's 1995 hit "Gangsta's Paradise"
Best line: "I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline / Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin / But if I finish all of my chores and you finish thine / Then tonight we're gonna party like it's 1699!"
What's Coolio up to in 2010: With a couple of dreadlocks left on his nearly bald head, Coolio glommed onto Insane Clown Posse's recent tour in a desperate bid to resuscitate his career via the love of the Juggalos; got an ICP-related tattoo but spelled the word "Jugalo" by mistake, much to the amusement of the Interwebs.
What's "Weird Al" up to in 2010: Recently surpassed the 12 million mark in albums sold, making him the biggest selling comedy recording artist in history.
Song: "I Lost on Jeopardy" (1984)
Parody of: Greg Kihn Band's 1983 hit "Jeopardy"
Best line: "Don't know what I was thinkin' of / I guess I just wasn't too bright / Well I sure hope I do better / Next weekend on The Price Is Right-ight-ight."
What's Greg Kihn up to in 2010: Plays the same damn Zeppelin and Skynyrd songs you've heard a million times and engages in "wacky antics" as co-host of a Morning Zoo-type show on a California classic rock radio station, where he works alongside someone named "Sloppy Joe."
What's "Weird Al" up to in 2010: Personally invited to perform at England's so-cool-it-hurts All Tomorrow's Parties Nightmare Before Christmas festival by this year's curators, Canadian post-rock luminaries Godspeed You! Black Emperor.
Song: "Smells Like Nirvana" (1992)
Parody of: Nirvana's 1991 hit "Smells Like Teen Spirit"
Best line: "It's unintelligible / I just can't get it through my skull / It's hard to bargle nawdle zouss / With all these marbles in my mouth."
What's Nirvana up to in 2010: Kurt Cobain is dead as a Gulf of Mexico sea turtle.
What's "Weird Al" up to in 2010: Inked a lucrative deal with HarperCollins, which next spring will publish When I Grow Up — the first in a line of children's books he plans to author in the coming years.
Song: "I Want a New Duck" (1985)
Parody of: Huey Lewis & the News' 1984 hit "I Want a New Drug"
Best line: "I want a new duck / Not a quail or an owl / One that won't molt too much / One that won't smell too fowl."
What's Huey Lewis up to in 2010: Appeared in a Jimmy Kimmel bit singing an intentionally sad-sack (and so true to his washed-up reality) solo rendition of "We Are the World."
What's "Weird Al" up to in 2010: Putting the finishing touches on his 13th studio album (not bad for a parodist!); his 12th album, 2006's Straight Outta Lynwood, was the most successful LP of his career thus far.
Song: "Like a Surgeon" (1985)
Parody of: Madonna's 1984 hit "Like a Virgin"
Best line: "It's a fact, I'm a quack / The disgrace of the A.M.A. / 'Cause my patients die, yeah, my patients die / Before they can pay."
What's Madonna up to in 2010: Utterly usurped by Lady Gaga to the point where many kids under the age of 14 have no clue who she is; currently in Paris directing a biopic about Edward VIII and Wallis Simpson that, given her cinematic track record, is almost guaranteed to be a flop.
What's "Weird Al" up to in 2010: Fooled everyone with a hysterical-but-fake Weird: The Al Yankovic Story movie trailer — featuring himself, Patton Oswalt as Dr. Demento, and others — that became an online sensation, and made plenty of people (including myself) salivate at the prospect of a real Yankovic dramatic biopic, à la 8 Mile or Walk the Line.
