5.) Pizza Vending Machine: Italy
Who needs to watch a pizza being hand-tossed by a chef when they can watch Roberto the Pizza-Producing Robot slide it out of his exit chute? After choosing one of four varieties (Margherita, bacon, ham, or fresh veggies), hungry-for-crap patrons watch through a window as the machine whips up flour, water, tomato sauce and fresh ingredients, makes them all nice-like into a 12-inch disc, bakes it, then delivers the whole still-looks-like-its frozen feast on a cardboard tray. Congratulations, Italy, in a wait time of only three minutes, you've found a way to single-handedly diminish your centuries-old accomplishment. Mangi!
4.) Beer Vending Machine: Prague
Here's a good idea: First invent the contact lens, act all serious, then completely turn the world's ass upside down by coming out with a vending machine that dispenses beer. Czech dudes, it's like you know our eyes and our souls, man. According to reports, the machines are proving to be quite a success (no shit), but what about those pesky, underage Euro-drinkers? The machine scans passports or identification cards. Then it's either bottoms up or another tour of the Prague Castle.
You asked for it, keep-it-kosher people. You've been able to politely decline wretched, overpriced foodstuffs from vending machines for years, but no more. If the goyim get gizzard-glut, so do you. Moving certified-kosher Sicilian-style pizza, mozzarella sticks, potato knishes, onion rings, and vegetarian cutlets from a refrigerator to a microwave to a crisper in less than the time it takes to sing the first verse and chorus to "Sunrise, Sunset," everyone from a mensch to a shmendrick to a yente can enjoy the schlock.
2.) French Fry Vending Machine: Australia
Hey, the Aussies are a busy folk. What with their Outbackin', Fosters Lagerin,' and Crocodile Dundeein', there's barely time to eat, let alone avoid being stung or bitten by one of its thousands of deadly snakes and spiders. Why not make a Mad Max dash for the metal kangaroo dispensing French-fried joeys? They're greasy, come with ketchup and salt and go great with meat pies. And with Australians eating more fries than any other snack food, this fry device is sure to be more invasive than the cane toad.
1.) Egg Vending Machine: Japan
From hot ramen and rice to toilet paper, panties, and porn, Japan's got a lock on bizarre vending machines. But eggs? What? Why? Usually set just outside of egg farms, these chicken seed cyborgs offer omelet makings at the ready. And with 5.6 million vending machines in Japan (one for every 20 people), it makes you wonder what instant delight the karaoke crooners will be plugging their yen for next -- Shiba Inu puppies?
