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Listening to Four Hours of Dubstep While Reading 50 Shades of Grey Was a Terrible Idea

By Mary Carreon Big news! There's an album called 50 Shades of Dubstep. It's got -- you guessed it -- 50 songs of goddamn dubstep. Amazon says it came out in August, but it just arrived in our mailbox this month. And so, we did what any logical person would do: We listened to all four hours of it. ... More >>

Jodi Arias Live Blog: Goes Home After Killing Alexander, Wanting to "Deny Reality"

It's about 1:30 p.m., and the afternoon recess in the Jodi Arias trial has ended. Arias is back on the stand, having testified this morning about how she shot Travis Alexander on June 4, 2008, then drove to Utah to meet a guy she liked. She spent a few hours with him, made out, tried to "act normal ... More >>

Chow Bella's One-Stop Guide to Eating Healthy in 2013

We feel your pain. No, really. Literally -- we feel pain. We drank so much egg nog during the month of December that we're not sure we're right in the nog anymore -- and don't get us started on all the pie, cookies, candy. Oh, and last night? We don't want to think about that. See also: -What Wi ... More >>

Hangover Help From Chow Bella's Resident Bartender

One of the biggest drinking days of the year, New Year's Eve, is fast upon us. To us bartenders, the 31st is derided as the biggest amateur night of the year. Lots of people partake in potent potables at quantities they aren't used to drinking. The next morning, seemingly everyone you know ends up w ... More >>

Minus the Bear, Cursive, Girl in a Coma, Marquee Theatre, 11/8/12

Minus the Bear, Cursive, and Girl In a Coma, Cursive @ Marquee Theatre|11/8/12The term "indie rock" is a convenient catchall, but last night at the Marquee Theatre, the term's definition was stretched to the limit. Minus the Bear, Cursive, and Girl in a Coma utilize elements of a lot of genres: po ... More >>

Nighttime Nosh a Partygoer's Convenience Store on Wheels: One Frozen Pizza, a Condom, and a Beer Pong Set, Please.

We've all been there: partying hard at a bud's house only to find the pizza is cashed, a dog chewed up your last penis hat for the hottie you were trying to tap, and the beer pong ball's deep under the couch thanks to you trying to write, "Bite Me!" on it with a Sharpie. What's a, "Whooooo, PARTY!" ... More >>

What's Your Hangover Cure?

Missing teeth, stolen police cars -- and where the hell is Mike Tyson's tiger? At one time or another, most of us have experienced the unpleasant and sometimes even life-altering effects following the heavy use of alcohol. Most everyone's got their swear-by-it hangover cure, but what about Valley ... More >>

Big Brain Awards 2012: Meet This Year's Finalists

Headache Crusader Cindy McCain to Give Keynote Address at Annual Meeting of the International Headache Society; There's Actually an International Headache Society?

www.punditkitchen.com You'd probably get headaches too if you had to listen to John McCain begin every sentence by saying "my friends" all day long . Oh wait -- we did, too. It was called the presidential election of '08.​The wife of Arizona Senator John McCain is "heading" up a cause near ... More >>

Underwear the Safest Place for Students to Hide Contraband, Says Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas

The U.S. Supreme Court decision to declare a strip-search of an Arizona student unconstitutional also "announces the safest place to secrete contraband at school," says Justice Clarence Thomas. Just stick those drugs in your skivvies. Don't you love when a government official makes things clear f ... More >>

Punk rock, video game, and DVD reviews

Your weekly pop culture wrap-up

Up the Down Staircase

A New Times writer tells one family's unique story about life with Down Syndrome, and then shares her own

Letters 05-04-2000

Suffer Safari

Another funk-rap-metal morph disturbs the peace