Arizona Cardinals

Arizona Cardinals Choose Offensive Guard Jonathan Cooper With First-Round Pick

It might not be the most exciting pick as far as play-making is concerned, but the Arizona Cardinals selected offensive guard Jonathan Cooper with the team's first-round pick, the seventh pick overall.It's probably a good pick for the Cardinals, based on the anemic offensive-line play from last year ... More >>

Arizona Cardinals Release Kevin Kolb, and the Quarterback Carnival Continues

The Arizona Cardinals have released quarterback Kevin Kolb, and the replacement plan isn't exactly reassuring.Former Indianapolis Colts backup Drew Stanton joins Brian Hoyer, John Skelton, and Ryan Lindley as the Cardinals' quarterbacks -- a group of guys we couldn't say with 100 percent certainty w ... More >>

Arizona Cardinals Sign Rashard Mendenhall, Because He's an Upgrade or Something

After getting rid of their decent, but often-injured, number-one running back, the Arizona Cardinals have signed another team's decent, but often-injured number-one running back.Shortly after cutting Beanie Wells, the Cardinals have signed former Pittsburgh Steelers running back Rashard Mendenhall t ... More >>

Arizona Cardinals Cut Beanie Wells, Leaving Team Pathetic at Yet Another Position

The Arizona Cardinals cut running back Chris "Beanie" Wells yesterday, which tells the world that the quarterback position isn't the only severe problem with the team's roster.Wells, the Cardinals' number-one pick in the 2009 draft, was injured and injured often during his stint with the team, and h ... More >>

Arizona Cardinals Quarterback Rumor of the Day -- Matt Cassel: Yay or Nay?

We're now getting to the point where it's impossible to go 24 hours without hearing a rumor from a legitimate sports reporter involving a quarterback and the Arizona Cardinals.On Tuesday, the Arizona Republic's Kent Somers said the Cardinals were "exploring the possibility" of trading for San Franci ... More >>

Arizona Cardinals Quarterback Rumor of the Day -- Alex Smith: Yay or Nay?

Stop us if you've heard this one before -- there's a rumor involving a quarterback and the Arizona Cardinals.The last 48 hours were devoted to a rumor about the Cardinals being interested in drafting USC quarterback Matt Barkley, but the Arizona Republic's Kent Somers has a new rumor -- a trade for ... More >>

Matt Barkley as Arizona Cardinals Quarterback: Yay or Nay?

This week in the Arizona Cardinals' desperate, years-long search for a functional quarterback: Matt Barkley.According to one of the NFL.com writers at the scouting combine this week, the Cardinals found Barkley "extremely impressive," and there's a "rumor" that the Cardinals are "very interested" in ... More >>

Arizona Cardinals Pick Bruce Arians to Walk on Water, Coach the Team to Victory

Indianapolis Colts offensive coordinator Bruce Arians has been hired as the man to lead the Arizona Cardinals to victory, which ranks somewhere between walking on water and healing a blind man, as far as miracles are concerned.Arians got his first head-coaching experience this year, when Colts head ... More >>

Best Word to Describe the 2012 Arizona Cardinals Season?

Believe it or not, the Arizona Cardinals' fourth quarterback choice of the year didn't lead the team to a miraculous victory in the season finale on Sunday, and the firing of the bozos making the decisions started on Monday.Brian Hoyer was the quarterback selected to seal the deal on a 5-11 Cardinal ... More >>

For the Birds

Arizona Cardinals End Nine-Game Suck-Fest, Defeat the Detroit Lions 38-10

Here's your Christmas miracle, folks: the Arizona Cardinals won an actual football game, and they actually scored touchdowns in the process.After losing nine games in a row, rookie quarterback Ryan Lindley and the Arizona Cardinals defeated the Lions of Detroit, by a score of 38-10.See also:-Arizona ... More >>

Arizona Cardinals Back to Ryan Lindley at Quarterback Because Who Gives a Damn

The Arizona Cardinals will be rolling with rookie quarterback Ryan Lindley this week against the Detroit Lions, because, really, who gives a shit at this point?It's not as if it actually matters who's chucking up the footballs for the Cards, but the spectacle at the quarterback position has been the ... More >>

Kevin Kolb's Toast for the Season, Clearing the Way for Cardinals' Total Suck-Fest

The Arizona Cardinals have placed porcelain doll quarterback Kevin Kolb on injured reserve, meaning he's done for the season.That move leaves the Cardinals with three options at quarterback for the rest of the suck-fest known as the 2012 season: starter-turned-backup-turned-starter-turned-backup-tur ... More >>

Could the Arizona Cardinals Possibly Suck Any More Than They Did on Sunday?

"Well, it can't get any worse than that," we've said for several weeks now of watching the Arizona Cardinals lose in miserable fashion.After seeing the Cardinals lose by 58 points -- by a score of 58-0 -- to the Seattle Seahawks, we're now wondering if it's actually possible to be any crappier.See a ... More >>

Arizona Cardinals Suck More Than Ever, Lose 58-0 to Seattle Seahawks

The Arizona Cardinals completely, totally, and definitely suck.After losing eight games in a row, the Cardinals just keep getting worse. The team lost by 58 points -- 58 to nothing -- to the Seattle Seahawks at CenturyLink Field in Seattle yesterday.See also:-Arizona Cardinals Stink Like Old Socks, ... More >>

Arizona Cardinals Back to John Skelton at Quarterback, Ignore Call for Open Tryout

The Arizona Cardinals announced today that John Skelton will be the starting quarterback this weekend against the Seattle Seahawks, ignoring the just-as-bad option of holding an open tryout for the position.Skelton's replacing rookie Ryan Lindley, who replaced Skelton, who replaced the injured Kevin ... More >>

Arizona Cardinals Stink Like Old Socks, Lose to Mark Sanchez-Less, Tim Tebow-Less Jets

The Arizona Cardinals are so bad, it's almost unbelievable.The Cardinals lost yesterday to the New York Jets at MetLife Stadium by a score of 7-6, but the Cardinals didn't end up losing to Jets starting quarterback Mark Sanchez. They didn't lose to God's favorite son, Jets backup quarterback Tim Teb ... More >>

Get Your Goat

Arizona Cardinals: Decent at Best; Green Bay Packers Win 31-17

The Arizona Cardinals' trend of playing mediocre-but-losing football continued for a fifth straight game, as the Cards lost to the Green Bay Packers 31-17 at Lambeau Field yesterday.Even with the offensive line not playing at Pop Warner-level for once, the offensive unit was still meh, and as you ca ... More >>

Mid-Season Poll: How Many Games Will the Arizona Cardinals Win This Year?

After getting crushed on Monday Night Football by the San Francisco 49ers, the Arizona Cardinals have now lost four games in a row.That's quite a difference from the start of the season, in which the Cardinals won their first four games.See also:-Arizona Cardinals Smoked by San Francisco 49ers on Mo ... More >>

Arizona Cardinals Smoked by San Francisco 49ers on Monday Night Football

The Arizona Cardinals lost their fourth straight game last night with a whooping by the San Francisco 49ers, and the Red Birds aren't looking any better.The Cards scored three whole points in the 24-3 loss, while picking up a grand total of seven rushing yards -- seven yards.See also:-Arizona Cardin ... More >>

Arizona Cardinals Lose Another One -- Minnesota Vikings Win, 21-14

The Arizona Cardinals are now the losers of three straight games, after the Kevin Kolb-less Cards lost by a touchdown to the Minnesota Vikings yesterday.John Skelton -- taking over as the Cardinals' quarterback again due to Kolb's injury -- got in the good graces of Cardinals fans last year thanks t ... More >>

Arizona Cardinals Lose to Buffalo Bills; Kevin Kolb Gets Injured

For once, the Arizona Cardinals didn't come away with a victory in an overtime thriller.It's kind of been expected for the Cardinals to win these types of games, but the Buffalo Bills were the ones to hit the overtime field goal yesterday in Glendale, beating the Cardinals 19-16.See also:-Arizona Ca ... More >>

Arizona Cardinals Play Like a Hot Pile of Garbage, Lose to St. Louis Rams

The Arizona Cardinals are no longer undefeated, and they did not go down gracefully.Kevin Kolb spent more time playing assault victim that he did playing quarterback, the Cardinals' run game continues to be essentially non-existent, resulting in a 17-3 loss in St. Louis.

Arizona Cardinals Defeat the Miami Dolphins in Overtime to Remain Undefeated

The Arizona Cardinals weren't perfect yesterday -- the defense let a rookie quarterback throw for 431 yards, and a decent-at-best wide receiver had 253 yards receiving.And even though it took overtime in Glendale yesterday, the Cardinals did the only thing that really mattered -- put up more points ... More >>

Arizona Cardinals Cream the Philadelphia Eagles; Kevin Kolb's Still Righteous

The Arizona Cardinals wrecked the Philadelphia Eagles 27-6 in Glendale yesterday, and quarterback Kevin Kolb is still the messiah of the National Football League.This was Kolb's first start against his former team, and it couldn't have gone better for him.See also:-Arizona Cardinals, Football Jesus ... More >>

Arizona Cardinals, Football Jesus Kevin Kolb Defeat New England Patriots

See also: Kevin Kolb Temporarily Replaces Tim Tebow as Football JesusArizona Cardinals quarterback Kevin Kolb has retained his temporary title of "Football Jesus" for another week, after New York Jets quarterback Tim Tebow didn't do much of anything again, and Kolb led the Cards to a win over the Ne ... More >>

How Many Games Will the Arizona Cardinals Win This Year?

See also: Kevin Kolb Temporarily Replaces Tim Tebow as Football Jesus; Cardinals WinThe Arizona Cardinals are undefeated in the 2012 season, and the big reason for that is because they've played just one game.Starting quarterback John Skelton may be sitting out a couple weeks after spraining his ank ... More >>

Bird Bath

Glendale Police Answer the Burning Question: Cardinals Fan Shot the Raiders Fan

The Glendale Police Department still hasn't gotten into a ton of detail about Friday's shooting outside the University of Phoenix Stadium, but the question the burning question has been answered -- the Arizona Cardinals fan shot the Oakland Raiders fan.The shooting occurred in a parking lot outside ... More >>

Arizona Cardinals Starting Quarterback: Kevin Kolb or John Skelton?

There's a good old-fashioned quarterback battle going on in the Arizona Cardinals' training camp, and according to ESPN's Adam Schefter, John Skelton is "now considered the favorite."Kevin Kolb came to Arizona as the presumptive starter before the start of last year's season -- by dealing Dominique ... More >>

How Did Those Arizona Cardinals Look Last Night in Preseason Loss to New Orleans Saints?

Football is finally back -- although it seems like it never left if you've been watching coverage of the New York Jets' training camp -- as the Arizona Cardinals kicked off the NFL preseason with a 17-10 loss to the New Orleans Saints.Quarterback Kevin Kolb completed one of his four passes to fullba ... More >>

Arizona Cardinals First-Round Draft Pick Michael Floyd: Yay or Nay?

With the 13th overall pick in the 2012 NFL draft, the Arizona Cardinals selected Notre Dame wide receiver Michael Floyd.Now that we presume everyone's done bitching about Peyton Manning, the Valley can scrutinize its new wide receiver for the annual way-before-the-season football banter.Floyd was th ... More >>

Draft Beers

Peyton Manning Likely Definitely Not Coming to Arizona Cardinals. Baseball, Anyone?

​UPDATE: The Arizona Cardinals released a statement from coach Ken Whisenhunt saying Manning "is no longer an option for us."You can throw that Arizona Cardinals Peyton Manning jersey you prematurely ordered straight in the garbage -- the Cardinals won't be landing Manning, and Cards quarterback K ... More >>

Jugg-Fest 2012 @ Marquee Theatre

Peyton Manning to the Arizona Cardinals: Will it Actually Happen?

Peyton Manning's no longer the quarterback for the Indianapolis Colts, which means the frenzy is officially under way for NFL teams to make their attempts to sign him.The Arizona Cardinals have already reached out to Manning's people, according to the ESPN-favorite "sources," and their conclusion fr ... More >>

Arizona Cardinals Fans Can Begin Peyton Manning Hysteria -- Quarterback Reportedly to Be Released

​ESPN's reporting the Indianapolis Colts are letting go of quarterback Peyton Manning, which means Arizona Cardinals fans can start going rabid over the thought of him signing with the Red Birds.The Cardinals are on the short list of teams Manning would likely sign with, according to professional ... More >>

Arizona Cardinals' Playoff Hopes Still Alive (Barely) After Overtime Win Against Cleveland Browns

​After a 1-6 start, the Arizona Cardinals still have an outside chance of making the playoffs thanks to a Tebow-esque fourth quarter in the team's 20-17 overtime win over the Cleveland Browns yesterday.The W is the Cards' third overtime win in seven games."We have a flair for dramatics," wide rece ... More >>

Arizona Cardinal Outlast St. Louis Rams 23-20 for Relatively Meaningless Victory

​Beanie Wells had arguably the biggest game of his career yesterday, as the running back rushed for 228 yards during the Arizona Cardinals' 23-20 win over the St. Louis Rams on Sunday afternoon at the Edward Jones Dome. He nabbed a franchise record for rushing during the game, averaging 8.4 yards ... More >>

Arizona Cardinals Destroyed by San Francisco 49ers

​The odds were definitely against the Arizona Cardinals in their lopsided 23-7 loss to the San Francisco 49ers on Sunday at Candlestick Park. The hometown team was in enemy territory, playing in the rain, and were facing the current NFC West leaders (and one of the top 10 defenses in the NFL) wi ... More >>

Arizona Cardinals' Defense Awful in One-Point Loss to Washington Redskins

​There's good news and bad news following the Arizona Cardinals 22-21 loss to the Washington Redskins last night.The good news: after two games, Kevin Kolb seems like a legitimate quarterback. The bad news: the Cards' defense is embarrassing.The Cardinals defense gave up 455 yards in the loss, bri ... More >>

Safety Dance

Morning Poll: Who Do You Want to See as the Arizona Cardinals New QB?

Who's it gonna be?​The Arizona Cardinals are rumored to be considering four quarterbacks to hopefully fill the void left by Kurt Warner.Cardinals brass have discussed trade options with the Philadelphia Eagles for Kevin Kolb and with the Denver Broncos for Kyle Orton. According to Arizona Republic ... More >>

Kevin Kolb Coming to Arizona; Cardinals Send Rodgers-Cromartie to Philadelphia for Eagles Backup QB

www.phinphanatic.comArizona Cardinals new QB Kevin Kolb​The Arizona Cardinals have apparently found their quarterback: soon-to-be former Philadelphia Eagles backup QB Kevin Kolb.Kolb reportedly has agreed to a five-year deal worth up to $63 million, with about $20 million in guarantees. In exchang ... More >>

Governor Jan Brewer Holds Ceremonial Signing for Law Striking "Retarded" and "Crippled" From Statutes

​Governor Jan Brewer held a ceremonial signing in her office on Thursday for a new law that strikes the "R-word" from state statutes.When it takes affect on September 30, the law will replace "mentally retarded," "retardation" and "crippled" in state code with gentler phrases like "children wi ... More >>

Snakes Rattle & Roll

Larry Fitzgerald's Double Play

Jan Brewer, Russell Pearce-Inspired License Plates, a Few Suggestions

democraticunderground.comProposed background for a new Sand Land license plate? It should be...The Cronkite News Service's Rebekah Zemansky recently reported on efforts by several legislators to add more specialized license plates to Arizona's already vast selection.Currently, you can pick ... More >>

Arizona Cardinals Lose to Worst Team in NFL. Officially Out of Playoff Contention

​There are only three teams in the National Football League with a worse record than the Arizona Cardinals right now. The Carolina Panthers -- the worst of those three teams -- beat the Cards 19-12 yesterday in game 14 of the Arizona Cardinals' series of practices for next year (a.k.a.: the 2010 f ... More >>