Jack Sparrow

Imam of the Flying Spaghetti Monster

Collar-Crazy

The cracked cockatoo defends the ACLU’s Dan Pochoda, wings by Pruitt’s for the day-laborer donnybrook, and searches for a tranny’s package

Fear and Fun in Phoenix

The cracked cockatoo defends the ACLU’s Dan Pochoda, wings by Pruitt’s for the day-laborer donnybrook, and searches for a tranny’s package

Golden Age, Porcelain Throne

Cate camps it up

Fear and Fun in Phoenix

Cate camps it up

Ravers of the Caribbean

We sail at nine-ish

Pirates . . . At Wit's End

Time to throw Jack Sparrow overboard

A Masterpiece on Canvas

Time to throw Jack Sparrow overboard

Treasure Hunt

The Pirates are back, and they're out to ransack your wallet

Get Inside!

Your three-month forecast of the summer's top movies

Booty Call

Yo ho, the Paper Heart hosts "Mermaids and Martinis"

Pirate Booty

Lezbosagogo's Angela Pulliam and India wish they could live in Depp's world

Reduced-Salt Dogs

In the slick and handsome Pirates of the Caribbean, more is somehow less

Diamondbacks Sink the Pittsburgh Pirates in Weekend Series With Back-to-Back Shutouts

Max Scherzer showed off his Pirate-killing skills in yesterday's 9-0 blowout.​ Max Scherzer might as well start calling himself Jack Sparrow, since the Diamondbacks pitcher was cutting down Pirates left and right during yesterday's 9-0 shutout over Pittsburgh at Chase Field. Instead of using ye ... More >>

10 Things Under $10 This Weekend: Pirates, Psychobillies, and Creepy Bunnies

The Bay Area's Nobunny will terrorize the Trunk Space on Saturday night. There are gonna be two kinds of people in the Valley this weekend: Those who can afford to go to Fall Frenzy, and those who can't. Given the $50-$60 price tag for tickets, its to be expected that a few thrifty types might consi ... More >>

Monday Night Martha, Sticky and Sweet

​For this Monday Night Martha, we did something decidedly un-Martha. We baked Sticky Toffee Pudding while still wearing our pajamas. Yeah, that's right. We were in our pajamas past noon. It's hard for us to imagine the super-achieving, real Martha cooking in her pajamas. And even if she did, w ... More >>

How to Eat a Carrot, and our Favorite Food Shows This Week on TV Dinner

Looking for the latest in tasty television? Need to know the need-to-watch episodes of your favorite foodie shows? Chow Bella is here to help. We're reviewing the most delectable and dreadful with a handy, must-see schedule so you won't miss a thing. If there's one thing we need to get our hearts ... More >>

Johnny Depp Keith Richards = New Documentary

​You may remember that little trilogy titled Pirates of the Caribbean, which featured Keith Richards playing the part of Captain Teague Sparrow, the father of Jack Sparrow, played by Johnny Depp. Apparently, Depp's friendship and fascination with Richards goes far beyond that of a pretend father/s ... More >>

Cheap Thrills Relaunch, Hellbilly Hoedown, Boats 'n' Hoes, and Other Weekend Events

Benjamin LeathermanJared Alan (left) and Sean Watson of Cheap Thrills"We have been waiting all summer long for this," states the Facebook event page for this weekend's relaunch of Jared Alan and Sean Watson's Cheap Thrills dance party. They ain't kidding, as many fans of the DJ duo have been eager f ... More >>

Major League Pitcher Brian Wilson: A Cross Between A Pirate And Bret Michaels?

DeadspinIs that Captain Jack Sparrow or a washed up 80s rocker?​San Francisco Giants closer Brian Wilson is coming to town this weekend for a three-game series against the Arizona Diamondbacks. But maybe he'll take time between games to visit The Venue in Scottsdale. Judging by recently released ... More >>

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides Proves Captain Jack Won't Die

DeadspinIs that Captain Jack Sparrow or a washed up 80s rocker?​San Francisco Giants closer Brian Wilson is coming to town this weekend for a three-game series against the Arizona Diamondbacks. But maybe he'll take time between games to visit The Venue in Scottsdale. Judging by recently released ... More >>

Keith Richards Gets Brass Balls

Wikimedia CommonsKeith Richards​Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards will be honored at Spike TV's "Guys Choice" awards on Friday, June 10. And what does he get for playing guitar and surviving rampant drug use for almost 50 years? Brass balls, of course. We imagine Richards is one of those " ... More >>

Dancing With the Stars' Most Upsetting Covers

​I can just picture it now. Thirteen seasons ago, each member of the Dancing With the Stars backing band hopped off a bus in Hollywood with stars in their eyes. Little did they know, they'd have the asses of chubby D-list stars in their peripheral sooner than they'd think. It's another one of ... More >>