Subject: Kurt Warner

• Celebrity Fight Night XV

  March 26, 2009

• Hot Links: Plot to Assasinate Obama Thwarted, Sarah Palin Hanged in Effigy, Ted Stevens Guilty.

  October 28, 2008

• This Week's Day-by-day Picks

  September 1, 2005

• Take Heart: The Cardinals Lost to the Best Team Football, but They Weren't Dominated

  Look out, dork: We may see you again in the playoffs. The difference in the Arizona Cardinals 37-29 loss to the New York Giants on Sunday was special teams. The Giants' played better. Take kick returner Dominik Hixon, who had run-backs of 83 and 68 yards to set up two Giants' scores. These more than offset kickoff returns by the Cardinals J.J. Arrington of 55 and 27 yards. For the Cardinals, it was a game of crazy kicks: two onside attempts. One nearly worked, and other didn't come clos

  November 24, 2008

• Battle of the Birds: Philadelphia Eagles Eat Same Ol' Cardinals on Turkey Day

  The tryptophan and the Tom Collinses put us under during the second half of the Arizona Cardinals' game with the Philadelphia Eagles. Sleep was a tender mercy, because replay of the last two quarters demonstrates that the Eagles continued to dine on Red Bird for the whole game. The 48-20 loss, in the town with a Rocky statue outside its Museum of Art, wasn't pretty. You knew it was going to be bad from the first quarter when ancient but normally accurate Cardinals quarterback Kur

  November 28, 2008

• Best of the NFC Worst: Cards Should Clinch Division Title Against Lowly St. Louis on Sunday

  Cards QB Kurt Warner will meet his old team in Glendale. You can't win in the NFC West. Even if you win. That's the moral of the story for the Arizona Cardinals, who've been crucified for years as the doormat of the weak-sister NFC Worst. Now  that they're on the verge of winning their first division title since 1975 -- a victory against the lowly St. Louis Rams on Sunday will clinch it -- they're sure to be pilloried for winning the title against, yes, an NFC West opponen

  December 5, 2008

• Defense Seals Deal: Arizona Cardinals Clinch NFC West in Blowout

  The defense was stellar in the Arizona Cadinals' division-clinching 34-10 win over the St. Louis Rams, forcing two fumbles and intercepting a pass in the end zone and returning it 100 yards for a score. But before we get too giddy and start ordering Super Bowl tickets, let's remember that the Rams aren't the worst team in the NFL (the winless Detroit Lions have that honor), but they do have a record of 2-10. Let's also remember that the Cardinals have beaten this l

  December 8, 2008

• Cardinals' Offensive Line's Pathetic in 35-14 Home Loss to Minnesota Vikings

  Quarterback Kurt Warner was on his ass all day thanks to an Arizona Cardinals offensive line that couldn't have held off Brophy Prep. Offensive lines can make or break football teams, and Arizona's broke its team's back Sunday afternoon. It's a lucky thing no official stats are kept on offensive linemen because these guys would be in the toilet. Every time Warner went back in the pocket, he was acosted by a Minnesota defender. He was sacked four times, and his protectio

  December 15, 2008

• Grim Forecast: Arizona Cardinals at New England Patriots Sunday

  The Arizona Cardinals got hammered by the Giants, dismembered by the Eagles, and just plain embarrassed by the Vikings. In between, they clinched the NFC West, guaranteeing themselves a home playoff game on the first weekend in January. It would be nice to go into the playoffs with momentum, and a win over New England would certainly give the Cardinals cred. But if  they can just pull themselves together and grab that playoff win, wouldn't you trade it in a heartbeat for a 5-0 record agai

  December 19, 2008

• The Weather Was Rotten in New England, and So Were the Arizona Cardinals (Except Matt Leinart)

  It wasn't the worst defeat in Cardinals history. The worst was a 49-0 ass-kicking by the Kansas City Chiefs in December, 2002. But it was an ass-kicking, all right. I know we've said it before, but the Cardinals were really pathetic this time. And it wasn't all about the weather in Foxboro, Massachusetts. Which couldn't have been worse. Granted, Arizona's professional football team (and we use that term loosely, after Sunday's sorry display) doesn't see much snow, sleat, and frigid rain --

  December 22, 2008

• Boo Birds: Will the Arizona Cardinals Actually Try to Win Regular-Season Finale?

  Don't tell us that you're surprised. Really, did y'all expect anything different besides the same ol' bloody Cardinals? Since the team's division-clinching victory against the lowly St. Louis Rams on November 2, your Arizona Cardinals have lost four of their last five , including the previous two against the Minnesota Vikings and New England Patriots by a combined 82-21. During the laugher in Foxboro, Massachusetts., Cards QB Kurt Warner threw for only 30 stinkin' yards, leading the offense t

  December 26, 2008

• Arizona Cardinals Head for the Playoffs on a High Note With a Big Win Over Lowly Seattle

  Finally, we get to report good news about the Arizona Cardinals, who finished the regular season 9-7 -- just as we predicted they would when we named Ken Whisenhunt top head coach in the PHX in our 2008 Best Of edition. Our prediction was based on the Cardinals going 8-8 last season behind injured-for-half-the-year Kurt Warner. Finishing .500 was a miracle. In the Cardinals' 34-21 home win over the 4-11 Seattle Seahawks on Sunday afternoon, a healthy Warner threw f

  December 29, 2008

• Arizona Cardinals Go Cosmic Against Atlanta Falcons in Historic Playoff Win

  The game was clinched on a third-and-16, 23-yard pass from Captain Kurt to Mr. Spach. It was logical. Most teams would've kept it on the ground and probably had to punt, giving their opponent another chance to score and win the game. But most teams don't have Arizona's passing attack. So  Cardinals offensive coordinator Todd "Comet" Haley and quarterback Kurt Warner went at clutch-time with what had gotten them there -- Warner's arm. Only, this time, he lasered it over the middle

  January 5, 2009

• Should the Cardinals Offer Kurt Warner a New Contract, or Turn it Over to Matt Leinart?

  Cardinals starting quarterback Kurt Warner's contract expires at the end of this season, and according to the NFL News Feed, the Cards and Warner have made no progress toward a new one. Sports pundits like those at the Chicago Tribune are already saying their cities' teams (in this case, the Bears) should make a move to snatch up Warner, once he becomes a free agent. But while the Bears may hunger for Kurt, do the Cardinals still need him? Should they offer an expensive 

  January 7, 2009

• Who Would've Ever Thunk it? The Arizona Cardinals are a Win Away From the Super Bowl

   In our wildest dreams, we never thought we'd be saying Arizona Cardinals and Super Bowl in  the same breath. We never thought we'd be saying Arizona Cardinals and two consecutive playoff wins in the same breath. But here Kurt Warner (pictured) and the Cardinals are, a win away from the big game in Tampa Bay on February 1. First, though, they must take care of the Philadelphia Eagles -- 23-11 winners over the New York Giants on Sunday -- at Un

  January 12, 2009

• Busting Ghosts: Can the Arizona Cardinals Beat Vegas Odds Again Sunday and Make it to the Super Bowl?

  Cardinals head coach Ken Whisenhunt is Arizona's ace in the hole. Color Terry Bradshaw red, for he has seen the light, brother. After ragging on the Cardinals all year, the shiny-domed former Super Bowl MVP announced his conversion on the FOX NFL Sunday postgame show following Arizona's shocking dismantling of the Carolina Panthers last weekend. "These guys [the Cardinals] have burned me too many times this year. I'll never pick against the Cardinals again. I'm saying this on camera," yelped

  January 16, 2009

• Lo and Behold! The Arizona Cardinals Are Going to the Super Bowl Against the Pittsburgh Steelers

  It was fourth and inches late in the fourth quarter, and it wasn't the play we would've called with our team down 25-24 in the NFC  Championship. But two running plays up the middle had yielded next to nothing. Cardinals quarterback Kurt Warner takes the snap and hands off to Tim Hightower (pictured), who bolts toward the right side. Everybody wearing red in University of Phoenix Stadium is holding their breath. The dreadlocked Hightower's nearing the sideline. Will he

  January 18, 2009

• Hey Cardinals, Don't Pull a '92-'93 Suns or a '96 Sun Devils. Just Win It Now!

  The Phoenix Suns nearly pulled it off in 1993. The 1996 Arizona State Sun Devils football squad totally had it until the final seconds. And now the Arizona Cardinals are a game away from sports immortality. (And, arguably, the biggest comeback in modern-day athletics.) So some words of advice to the Cardinals as they head into the biggest game in franchise history: Just win the fricking thing now because this could be your only chance for a long, long while.

  January 30, 2009

• Looking for the Valley's Biggest Super Bowl Parties? We've Got the Lowdown

  These ladies definitely know how to celebrate Super Bowl Sunday in style. Do you? Less than 48 hours remain until Kurt Warner and the rest of the Arizona Cardinals become either champs or chumps. As Steve Jansen wrote earlier today over on our Valley Fever blog, Kurt and the boys in red have a golden opportunity to not only redeem the enitre Cardinals franchise for stinking up Phoenix for the past 20 years, they also can reward our town with it's second major sports championship. (The Rattlers

  January 30, 2009

• Morning After: Arizona Cardinals Come Oh-So-Close to Winning One of the Most Exciting Super Bowls Ever in Coach Ken Whisenhunt's Second Season

    The biggest game in Arizona Cardinals history -- the second-biggest in Arizona sports history -- is over, and what can we take away from it? Sure the Cardinals snatched defeat from the jaws of victory, but they certainly had the odds-makers in Vegas sweating. For the fourth game in a row. Though it's said that nobody remembers the loser in a Super Bowl, quarterback Kurt Warner and the Cardinals will be remembered for playing in one of the greatest game

  February 2, 2009

• Arizona Cardinals Return Home

  Jonathan McNamara It would take more than a Super Bowl loss to prevent the Arizona Cardinals from receiving a hero's welcome at Sky Harbor Airport on the afternoon after their defeat to the Pittsburgh Steelers. A few thousand dedicated fans with the luxury of leaving their respective jobs at around 3:30 p.m. gathered en masse on the tarmac to welcome home their team and life their spirits with chants like "one more year." Arizona Governor Jan Brewer, Coach Ken Whisenhunt, Kurt War

  February 2, 2009

• Super Bowl Decided by Ref? How Did Kurt Warner's Pass Get Down Field if it Was Fumbled?

  For our own mental health, we've been trying to let go of the Super Bowl for two days now. We've been trying to remind ourselves that the NFL is sports entertainment, and that we correctly predicted what was going to happen: Cardinals fans would be massively outnumbered in Tampa, and the Steelers would have the "neutral site" championship called like a home game. But, as the ol' inbox continues to fill with trash talk from Steelers fans, we have to say this:THAT WAS A FUCKING FORWARD PASS. HOW

  February 3, 2009

• Hot Links: Kyl and McCain Want Smaller Stimulus Package; Public Transit Fare Hike "Inevitable"; NFL Says Ref Made Right Call in Warner Fumble

  Size matters: Arizona's Republican senators are both pushing for an alternative to Obama's stimulus package. Napolitano called him "Chicken Little" when he made the prediction that the state was going to run out of money, but now State Treasurer Dean Martin is sounding an optimistic note, declaring Arizona's economy will begin to recover in 2010. Like light rail? Be prepared to pay more to ride it this year; bus fare is also likely to rise. A nationwide federal immigrant fugitive program is catc

  February 5, 2009

• If Kurt Warner and His Agent Persist in Asking for Max Dollars for a 38-Year-Old QB, Maybe the Cardinals Should Go With Matt Leinart

  Didn't we predict it would come to this? Yes we did, over and over. We said Kurt Warner would seek the highest salary possible following his improbable Super Bowl run, and that the Arizona Cardinals would resist. For two reasons: Because the Bidwills who own the franchise are known to be a tight-fisted clan. And because the Cardinals have a potential star NFL quarterback in the making. That would be Matt Leinart, he of Heisman Trophy and two National Championships at USC fame. Okay, ev

  February 25, 2009

• Now This on Kurt Warner: It's Unlikely He'll Be Re-Signed by the Arizona Cardinals Before the Free-Agency Deadline Tomorrow

  azcardinals.com Like we've been saying all along, Cardinals starting quarterback Kurt Warner may be playing elsewhere next season. A blogger on azcardinals.com., the team's official Web site, reports that Warner and the team are still about $4 million a year apart on a contract. Warner wants to be paid in the range of the top five quarterbacks in the league -- guys like Peyton Manning and Tom Brady, who have Super Bowl victories for their current teams on their resumes

  February 26, 2009

• Feb. 26 In Blogs: Kurt Warner, The Necronauts, World of Beers and More

  We understand that in the 24-hour news cycle it can be difficult to keep up. Worry not! We have the solution. Check back on Valley Fever every evening for highlights from each of New Times' blogs. Today's entries: Valley Fever: Dad Accused of Spinning 1-year-old Son in Clothes Dryer; Kid Will Be Okay Now This on Kurt Warner: It's Unlikely He'll Be Re-Signed by the Arizona Cardinals Before the Free-Agency Deadline Tomorrow Feathered Bastard: Anti-287(g) Chorus Grows with Justice Strategies' De

  February 26, 2009

• Kurt Warner's Entertaining All Offers, but He May Not Be Worth More Than the Arizona Cardinals are Offering to Anbody Else

  Good question for the Cards. T-shirt sold through Moe Wampum, Inc .Okay, Kurt Warner's on the open market. He and the Arizona Cardinals, though talking, didn't come to terms on a contract before the free-agency deadline today. What does this mean? Well, he could go to another team, that's what it means. How much does this matter. Maybe a lot (it would be reassuring to see him back in red and white for another season, after that Super Bowl appearance). Maybe not that much (Matt L

  February 27, 2009

• Kurt Warner Visits the San Francisco 49ers Today, No Doubt as a Ploy to Make the Arizona Cardinals Come Around

  Question: How much money does Kurt Warner need?! Answer: As much as he can possibly get. Forget all that Christian stuff when it comes to big-time athlete bucks; everybody wants every million they can wring out. Warner's agent, Mark Bartelstein, wants us to believe that Kurt's too moral to create a controversy to get more millions, but he and his client can't have it both ways. Despite all the Jesus talk, Warner's obviously not that moral. We'd feel better about Warner's mone

  March 2, 2009

• Thanks Kurt: Warner Compromises after Frisco Trip; Reduces Salary Demand by About $3 Million a Year

  azcardinals.com Kurt offers "hometown discount."Kurt Warner makes a Christian move (sort of). In what ESPN's calling a "hometown discount," the Arizona Cardinals starting quarterback and his agent, Mark Bartelstein, apparently have amended his contract demand to the team to a two-year, $23 million deal, with $12 million guaranteed. The Cardinals had been offering $20 million over two years, with half guaranteed. Warner and Bartlestein wanted something in the neighborh

  March 3, 2009

• Kurt Warner Signs Two-Year, $23 Million Deal With Arizona Cardinals, $19 Mil of it Guaranteed

  You could see this coming after Kurt Warner's trip to visit the San Francisco 49ers and his compromise offer to the Cardinals: He has agreed to a two-year, $23 million contract, with a $15 million signing bonus and $4 million in base salary. The remaining $4 million would be paid based on incentives. Warner said all along he preferred staying with Arizona, but he tested the free agency market with the visit, including a team physical, to the 49ers Bay Area training facility Monday

  March 4, 2009

• Celebrity Fight Night, *Sadisco, Peelander-Z, Aloft and More Over the Weekend

  Celebrity Fight Night XV From the Red Carpet Michael Phelps, Forest Whitaker, Kurt Warner and more showed up to support Celebrity Fight Night which raised $6.6 million for charities such as the Muhammad Ali Parkinson Center on Saturday, March 28, 2009...see the shots *Sadisco: The SadisClones Prosthetic Army Falsies were all the rage at Homme Lounge last night--but not the silicone-filled variety (for once). The SadisClones Prosthetic Army sadistic disco was more interested in fake arms, legs

  March 30, 2009

• Kurt Warner, HOF?

  February 19, 2009

• The Greatest Show on Turf, Take 2

  December 4, 2008

• Adolf Hitler an Arizona Cardinals Fan? Check it Out.

  We've gotten our fair share of hate mail over the years, especially after our Super Bowl cover story about weak-kneed Cardinals fans and their coal-mining hillbilly counterparts (Steeler Nation) from Western Pennsylvania, but we've never received anything as hilarious/disturbing as this video. Yes, those are the words from one of our blog posts, put in Adolf Hitler's mouth. Martin Cizmar's post about Kurt Warner's "fumble" is linked from YouTube. Eeek. It's funny, yes, but also deeply, deeply

  April 15, 2009

• Hot Links: Warner Meets Obama, Yearbook Insults, and STDs

  Arizona Cardinals quarterback Kurt Warner met with President Barack Obama yesterday prior to Obama's speech at ASU. Obama invited Warner to play basketball with him at the White House, and Warner offered to pray for Obama's family...L. William Seidman, former business school dean at Arizona State University and a CNBC commentator, died yesterday in New Mexico. Seidman was 88...The Maricopa County Sheriff''s Office is asking for the public's help in finding a suspect wanted for child molestation.

  May 14, 2009

• The Hunt for Red September

  July 30, 2009

• Larry Fitzgerald and Friends: Morton's Celebrity Waiter Night

  August 20, 2009

• Pack to the Future

  August 27, 2009

• Redbirds of Prey

  September 10, 2009

• Things Are Getting Back To Normal In Glendale; Cards Look Like Crap In Loss to San Francisco

  www.nfldotcom.com Kurt Warner and the Arizona Cardinals put on a laughable performance in Glendale yesterday. These guys really almost won the Super Bowl?​ After nearly not selling out on opening day, after a lackluster training camp, after a quiet off-season, and after winning the NFC Championship, the Arizona Cardinals are finally back. We don't just mean that it's football season again, we mean that the Cardinals are back to playing, well, like the commiserable Cardinals of old,

  September 14, 2009

• Mano A Manning

  September 24, 2009

• Cardinals' Sin

  October 8, 2009

• Cards Hang On to Beat Texans; Rodgers-Cromartie Saves the Day

  Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie performed some late-game heroics in the Cards victory over Houston on Sunday​The Cardinals' (2-2) 28-21 victory over the Houston Texans (2-3) Sunday in Glendale came in a way that would even raise the blood pressure the 1980 "Kardiac Kid" Cleveland Browns. 

  October 12, 2009

• Cards Soar Over Seahawks in 27-3 Beat Down

  www.thescroogereport.com​The Seattle Seahawks (2-4) folically challenged quarterback Matt Hasselbeck didn't stand a chance yesterday. His offense mustered a measly 128 total yards, he completed only 10 of 29 passes, and he was sacked five times throughout the 27-3 Cardinals (3-2) victory. The big news coming out of Seattle Sunday wasn't Hasselbeck's seemingly reserved seat on the turf at Qwest Field, it was this: The Arizona football Cardinals won a game -- on the ro

  October 19, 2009

• Warner Throws Five interceptions in Cards Pitiful Loss to Carolina

  wwwstaticimages.co.uk​After beating the Giants last week in New York, we told you the Cardinals seemed to be pulling it together and playing like a team that nearly won the Super Bowl last year. We also told you the birds had a fairly easy schedule for the remainder of the season, which would be the case if they could avoid turning the ball over six times in one game.Kurt Warner threw five interceptions and fumbled once in Sunday's 34-21 loss and ended the day with a 47.8 passer rating. Warner

  November 2, 2009

• Dine with Kurt Warner at the Wrigley

  On Monday, November 16, Warner and wife Brenda will host a Night of Champions dinner at The Wrigley Mansion, 2501 E. Telewa Trail in Phoenix.

  November 2, 2009

• Fire Whisenhunt: Arizona Cardinals Need a Solution to Their Offensive Woes. Here It Is.

  Expect a lot more of this in '09.​ As Da Cards head to Chi-Town for a Soldier Field showdown with Jay Cutler and Da Bears on Sunday, many in Da PHX are still smarting from the Birds' 34-21 mugging by the Carolina Panthers and the world's worst quarterback, Jake Delhomme, last weekend in Glendale. The fragrant home loss underscored, yet again, the need to address the Arizona Cardinals' out-of-whack offense and slovenly 1-3 record at University of Phoenix Stadium. Personally, we're not

  November 6, 2009

• Arizona Cardinals Beat Down "Da Bears" in Chicago

  www.thescroogereport.com​Kurt Warner's Jekyll and Hyde season has been nothing short of maddening. Last week, after giving up five interceptions and a fumble in the Cards' 34-21 loss to the Carolina Panthers, we were calling for Kurt's head (not to mention Coach Ken's play-calling responsibilities). Yesterday, in the Cards 41-21 beat down of Da Bears in Chi-town, Kurt and the offense looked superb -- even with wide receiver Anquan Boldin sidelined with an attitu

  November 9, 2009

• Home, Sweet Home? The Cardinals Will Actually Try to Win in Glendale Against the Struggling Seattle Seahawks

  Will the real Kurt Warner please stand up?​ Not much good has happened for the 3-5 Seattle Seahawks since the Arizona Cardinals smoked them on October 18 at Qwest Field by a 27-3 count. (Arizona outgained Seattle in total yardage, 344 to 128.) The next week, they were manhandled by the Dallas Cowboys. The following game, they beat the lowly Detroit Lions, though they needed a second-half rally to do so. Exciting.

  November 13, 2009

• Cardinals-Vikings Game Gets Moved to Prime Time; It's Not Too Often Quarterbacks With a Combined Age Of 78 Meet On the Field

  ChopsRock​When given the option of an exciting wildcat offense and a stud quarterback, or two middle-aged guys in the twilight of their careers, NBC is going with the latter.NBC has decided to show the Arizona Cardinals a little love this season and has opted to move the Cards December 6 game against the Minnesota Vikings from a 2 p.m. local broadcast to its prime time, nationally aired, night-time spot.

  November 24, 2009