Minnesota Vikings

Celebrity Chef Charity Dinner at Praying Monk in Scottsdale on March 10

Under normal circumstances, we'd have to log quite a few miles in order to enjoy plates created by Aaron May, Christopher Gross, Matt Carter, and Josh Herbert in one night. And that's assuming we'd be able to stuff ourselves with that much food. It won't be a problem, however, on March 10 when the ... More >>

Arizona Cardinals End Nine-Game Suck-Fest, Defeat the Detroit Lions 38-10

Here's your Christmas miracle, folks: the Arizona Cardinals won an actual football game, and they actually scored touchdowns in the process.After losing nine games in a row, rookie quarterback Ryan Lindley and the Arizona Cardinals defeated the Lions of Detroit, by a score of 38-10.See also:-Arizona ... More >>

Arizona Cardinals Smoked by San Francisco 49ers on Monday Night Football

The Arizona Cardinals lost their fourth straight game last night with a whooping by the San Francisco 49ers, and the Red Birds aren't looking any better.The Cards scored three whole points in the 24-3 loss, while picking up a grand total of seven rushing yards -- seven yards.See also:-Arizona Cardin ... More >>

NFL Punter Is Prying Open America's Last Closet: Pro Sports

Arizona Cardinals Lose Another One -- Minnesota Vikings Win, 21-14

The Arizona Cardinals are now the losers of three straight games, after the Kevin Kolb-less Cards lost by a touchdown to the Minnesota Vikings yesterday.John Skelton -- taking over as the Cardinals' quarterback again due to Kolb's injury -- got in the good graces of Cardinals fans last year thanks t ... More >>

NFL: Former Arizona Cardinals Quarterback Kurt Warner May Have Been Crushed for Money

The National Football League announced today that a couple dozen defensive players on the New Orleans Saints maintained a player-funded "bounty" system, which involved getting paid for injuring opposing players.Hits on former Arizona Cardinals quarterback Kurt Warner and former Minnesota Vikings qua ... More >>

Arizona Cardinals Give Up 28 Points in First Quarter in Loss to Vikings

​The Arizona Cardinals got crushed 34-10 by the winless (until yesterday) Minnesota Vikings yesterday, which tends to happen when a team gives up 28 points in the first 13 minutes of the game.The first quarter for the Cards couldn't have gone any worse.After having to punt on the first two unimpre ... More >>

Arizona Cardinals Fall to Eli Manning and the New York Football Giants

​With the Arizona Cardinals ahead by four points with about four minutes remaining in their 31-27 loss to the New York Giants yesterday, we said to a friend "and now Eli Manning's gonna march the G-men down the field and win this game.Then Eli Manning marched his team down the field and won the ga ... More >>

Green Bay Packers: Five Signs You Might be a Fan (and a Hillbilly)

Peter StorchPackers fans make Steelers fans look like GQ models.​The Green Bay Packers are headed to the Super Bowl this Sunday, which means one thing for those of us in civilized society (a.k.a. anywhere but Wisconsin): we're gonna have sit back and listen to the Midwestern drivel coming from the ... More >>

Phoenix Sees Record High Temperatures as Northeast Gets Buried in Snow. Insert Nelson Muntz "Ha Ha!" Here

www.myspace.comNot in Phoenix it doesn't.​What did you do this weekend? Go to the park? Go hiking? A little golf? Whatever you did, it was probably vastly different from what people on the East Coast had going on.As a lot of the country was snowed in for much of the weekend, to the point that snow ... More >>

Derek Anderson Not Horrendous as Arizona Cardinals Blow Another One

​There is a silver lining to the Arizona Cardinals 27-24 overtime loss to Brett Favre and the Minnesota Vikings -- sure, for the second week in a row they blew a lead in the fourth quarter, but, for the first time all season, the man coach Ken Whisenhunt chose to play quarterback, Derek Anderson, ... More >>

Quarterback Issues Continue to Plague Arizona Cardinals as Team Heads to Minnesota to Face Brett Favre and the Vikings

It's make or break time for Cards QB Derek Anderson.​The Arizona Cardinals will be in Minnesota this weekend to take on Brett Favre and the Vikings, and, as has been the case all season for the Cards, the quarterback situation remains dire.Too bad for the Cards, quarterback is a pretty important p ... More >>

Jan Brewer Waxes Weird in Victory Speech as Terry Goddard Announces Camping Trip

The lack of decor at the Democratic Party headquarters in downtown Phoenix was in stark contrast to the colorful array of posters and ubiquitous American flags in display at their rival Republican digs across the street. ​ It was if the Dems had resolved to take their medicine--a loss of e ... More >>

Derek Anderson to Start at Quarterback for Arizona Cardinals Sunday

Derek Anderson will start Sunday against the Vikings...for now.​Arizona Cardinals coach Ken Whisenhunt is smack-dab in the middle of a game of musical quarterbacks -- and he loses almost every time the music stops.Whisenhunt announced this morning that Derek Anderson will make the start at quarter ... More >>

American Hero/Zero

Brett Favre sucks donkey parts. Or the future Hall of Famer is the most awesome being ever to throw a pigskin.

Arizona Cardinals 2010 Schedule Includes Christmas-Day Home Game Against Dallas Cowboys

​The NFL revealed the Arizona Cardinals 2010 schedule this morning and not only will the Cards host a Monday night game in Glendale this Kurt Warner-less season, Jesus will have a little competition for a fan-base on Christmas Day.The Cards will host a somewhat-rare Christmas Day game against the ... More >>

Jared Allen, Minnesota Vikings Defensive Star, Threatens to Break a Guy's Neck at Scottsdale Bar. Yep, Someone Caught It on Video

www.freeadsonlineuk.com Minnesota Vikings defensive star Jared Allen​ We can think of several people who -- if we ever bumped into at a bar -- we would go out of our way to not fuck with. Minnesota Vikings defensive superstar Jared Allen is on that list. A man at a bar in Scottsdale apparen ... More >>

Wrestlemania vs. Paul McCartney: Why Glendale Needs to be Superplexed Through a Table

On nights when events at both University of Phoenix Stadium and Jobing.com Arena are booked simultaneously, Glendale becomes hell on earth.​This Sunday is one of the biggest nights in Glendale's history. Wrestlemania XXVI -- the "sport's" marquee event -- will be held inside University of Phoenix ... More >>

Franz Ferdinand Singer Calls Epic "Arrogant Motherfucking Pig-Brained Arseholes"

​Epic Records, owned by Sony, evidently allowed McDonald's to use a Franz Ferdinand song without checking with the boys first. Lead singer Alex Kapranos was less than pleased about the decision. While he did state, "I'd rather eat a cowpat on a bun than a bloody McDonald's," he's actually far more ... More >>

NFL Playoffs: Somehow, We Were Perfect Last Week. Here's This Week's Picks

We make it a practice (once) every year of making the trek to Vegas and donating money to the "cause," that is, those poor casinos, by wagering on all manner of sporting events.   ​Unfortunately, we were not up there last week to put down our hard-earned shekels on the four Natio ... More >>

Cards Get Crushed by Green Bay, but the Game Meant Squat and They'll See 'Em Next Week

www.theredzonereport.com​By kickoff time for the Cardinals 33-7 loss to the Green Bay Packers yesterday, the Redbirds knew their shot at a No. 2 playoff seed was not to be. The Minnesota Vikings beat down the Giants earlier in the day making the outcome of the ... More >>

Can the Cardinals Get the No. 2 Playoff Spot? They Gotta Beat Green Bay First

​There is a legitimate chance that the Arizona Cardinals could earn the No. 2 seed for the 2009 playoffs, but some things need to happen -- a lot of things.First and foremost, the Cards need to beat Green Bay on Sunday. Given everything else that needs to happen -- all of which are out of the Card ... More >>

Cardinals Host the St. Louis Rams After Clinching Division; After the Last Two Weeks, a Little Practice Couldn't Hurt

​The Arizona Cardinals clinched the division last week with a sloppy win over the dismal Detroit Lions -- sealing their fate for a second consecutive post-season appearance.  Woo-hoo. However, if the Cards head into the playoffs playing like they have the last two weeks, it will probably ... More >>

Will The Cardinals Beat the Lions or Will the Cards Beat Themselves? After Last Week, It's Anyone's Guess

​If you're a Cardinals fan, you're probably still trying to figure out what the hell happened on Monday night, when the Cards got lit up against the San Francisco 49ers. Here's what happened: The Cardinals beat themselves. When a team turns the ball over seven times, the opposi ... More >>

Cardinals Crushed by 49ers; Turn the Ball Over Seven Times in Embarrassing Loss

​For anyone who watched the Arizona Cardinals beat down Brett Favre and the Minnesota Vikings last week and then saw the Redbirds get crushed by the San Francisco 49ers last night, you may have the same reaction we did: What the fuck happened? The Cardinals made history last night in the 24-9 ... More >>

Can the Cards Beat the Niners to Clinch Division? Despite History, the Answer is Yes

​When the Arizona Cardinals take the field tonight, the team has a chance to do something it hasn't done in 34 years -- win two consecutive division titles. Standing in their way -- the lackluster but troublesome San Francisco 49ers. The two teams have met 36 times, with the Niners win ... More >>

Kurt Warner's Dismantling of the Vikings Defense Earns Him NFC Offensive Player of the Week Honors

www.seaonofdiscontent.comKurt Warner​It may have poured in the Valley yesterday but coming off of a 30-17 win against Brett Favre and the then 11-1 Vikings, it was nothing but sunshine for Arizona Cardinals fans.The big win put the Cards back on the NFC radar and it was announced today that Cards ... More >>

Cardinals Shut Down Brett Favre and the Minnesota Vikings; Next Stop: San Francisco

​When Tim Hightower fumbled on the opening drive of the Cardinals 30-17 win over the Minnesota Vikings last night in Glendale, and the Vikings marched down the field to score with ease, you couldn't help but to think, "Okay, here comes a classic Brett Favre beat-down." Fortunately, that was a ... More >>

Middle-Aged Showdown May Not Happen When Brett Favre Comes to Glendale This Weekend; Cards Coach Whisenhunt Says Warner is a Game-Time Decision

ChopsRock​When NBC moved this Sunday's Cardinals - Vikings game from a locally broadcast afternoon game to a nationally televised prime time game, it was probably expecting a middle-aged showdown between two of the league's most seasoned quarterbacks. The combined age of Kurt ... More >>

Prime Numbers

It’s Warner vs. Favre in NFC shootout

Kurt Warner-Less Arizona Cardinals End Road Win Streak With Loss to the Tennessee Titans

Matt Leinart​After the Cardinals 20-17 loss to the Tennessee Titans Sunday, Matt Leinart is officially worthless. Frankly, he's worth even less than that -- Matt Leinart is worth a negative $50 million dollars over six years. Leinart got a chance to step out from behind the clipboard Sunday ... More >>

Cardinals-Vikings Game Gets Moved to Prime Time; It's Not Too Often Quarterbacks With a Combined Age Of 78 Meet On the Field

ChopsRock​When given the option of an exciting wildcat offense and a stud quarterback, or two middle-aged guys in the twilight of their careers, NBC is going with the latter.NBC has decided to show the Arizona Cardinals a little love this season and has opted to move the Cards December 6 gam ... More >>

Forget the Alamo: Arizona Cardinals Must Whup Hubris and the Houston Texans to Salvage Their Season

If Beanie can hold on to the ball, expect a breakout day for the rookie RB against the Texans.​ Three years ago, Suns fans considered Kobe Bryant's Los Angeles Lakers their personal bitches. Two years ago, D-Backers openly lampooned the hapless, pre-Joe Torre L.A. Dodgers. Last year, Arizon ... More >>

Pack to the Future

Cheeseheads visit Glendale, sans Favre. That’s a good thing.

For Pete's Sake

Baseball’s been very, very bad to Charlie Hustle

Super Bowl XLIII Preview: Arizona Cardinals vs. Pittsburgh Steelers (the Redbirds are Still Vegas Underdogs)

Bid Bidwill, Ken Whisenhunt, and Rod Graves in January 2007 The Arizona Cardinals are going to the Super Bowl, and the world didn't end. Despite their myriad critics, maybe that means they belong there. Dangerous corollary for a young team: Maybe they're beginning to think they belong there. Luck ... More >>

Boo Birds: Will the Arizona Cardinals Actually Try to Win Regular-Season Finale?

Don't tell us that you're surprised. Really, did y'all expect anything different besides the same ol' bloody Cardinals? Since the team's division-clinching victory against the lowly St. Louis Rams on November 2, your Arizona Cardinals have lost four of their last five , including the previous two ... More >>

Cardinals' Offensive Line's Pathetic in 35-14 Home Loss to Minnesota Vikings

Quarterback Kurt Warner was on his ass all day thanks to an Arizona Cardinals offensive line that couldn't have held off Brophy Prep. Offensive lines can make or break football teams, and Arizona's broke its team's back Sunday afternoon. It's a lucky thing no official stats ... More >>

Earth to Arizona Cardinals: Stay Focused Against Vikings on Sunday

Adrian Peterson and the Minnesota Vikings ain't nothing to eff with. Now that the Arizona Cardinals are division champeens for the first time in 33 years, we offer this plea: Don't screw this up, y'all. Though the Cards put a lockdown on the NFC West last weekend, there's still a lot to play for, ... More >>

Hang With The Arizona Cardinals' Defensive Line At The Clubs Tonight

  Defensive end Antonio Smith shows off the "raise the roof" gesture. Wanna high-five a few Arizona Cardinals players on their recent clinching of the NFC West crown? We've got info on where a few players will be kicking back tonight.

It's a Girl Thing

Our ladies in red are floundering in unfamiliar territory

Bartenders & Baristas: Michelle Anthony at Regal Beagle

Satan's Cheerleaders

Our diabolical duo sets Sugar Daddy's ablaze for the first-ever Saints 'n' Sinners Ball

Flashes

Rations for the Sporting Life

Mall Americans

A fledgling indoor-football league is a steppingstone -- for some, to the future; for others, to the past

Pic Hits for the week

Pic Hits for the week

PILING ON WHEN BUDDY'S DOWN