NFC South

Golden Gods 2013: How Gene Simmons Gets Out Of Interviews And Other Black Carpet Tales

If you've been reading this whiskey-drenched, devil-horn-throwing column every week for more than a year, here's a little thank-you flashback to the beginning. In one of the first Metal Mondays installments, I talked about the Revolver Golden Gods Awards in Los Angeles--basically the heavy metal Gra ... More >>

Arizona Cardinals Suck More Than Ever, Lose 58-0 to Seattle Seahawks

The Arizona Cardinals completely, totally, and definitely suck.After losing eight games in a row, the Cardinals just keep getting worse. The team lost by 58 points -- 58 to nothing -- to the Seattle Seahawks at CenturyLink Field in Seattle yesterday.See also:-Arizona Cardinals Stink Like Old Socks, ... More >>

Arizona Cardinals Back to John Skelton at Quarterback, Ignore Call for Open Tryout

The Arizona Cardinals announced today that John Skelton will be the starting quarterback this weekend against the Seattle Seahawks, ignoring the just-as-bad option of holding an open tryout for the position.Skelton's replacing rookie Ryan Lindley, who replaced Skelton, who replaced the injured Kevin ... More >>

The Best Metal Songs for Football

Hang on guys, here's something you won't believe: Phil Anselmo of Pantera/Down is mad about something. But it's not the sort of thing we're used to him being mad about. As you're no doubt aware, with the weather beginning to act like it might cool down, college campuses swelling with textbook-toti ... More >>

How Did Those Arizona Cardinals Look Last Night in Preseason Loss to New Orleans Saints?

Football is finally back -- although it seems like it never left if you've been watching coverage of the New York Jets' training camp -- as the Arizona Cardinals kicked off the NFL preseason with a 17-10 loss to the New Orleans Saints.Quarterback Kevin Kolb completed one of his four passes to fullba ... More >>

Andre Rison, Decent Former Football Player, Owes More Than $300,000 in Child Support

Andre "Bad Moon" Rison is a former NFL wide receiver who made the Pro Bowl five times, and had his mansion burned down by the late TLC singer Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes in 1994.Rison also made child-support payments precisely zero times, which he was ordered to start paying in 1999.Since he managed to sk ... More >>

NFL: Former Arizona Cardinals Quarterback Kurt Warner May Have Been Crushed for Money

The National Football League announced today that a couple dozen defensive players on the New Orleans Saints maintained a player-funded "bounty" system, which involved getting paid for injuring opposing players.Hits on former Arizona Cardinals quarterback Kurt Warner and former Minnesota Vikings qua ... More >>

Arizona Cardinals' Playoff Hopes Still Alive (Barely) After Overtime Win Against Cleveland Browns

​After a 1-6 start, the Arizona Cardinals still have an outside chance of making the playoffs thanks to a Tebow-esque fourth quarter in the team's 20-17 overtime win over the Cleveland Browns yesterday.The W is the Cards' third overtime win in seven games."We have a flair for dramatics," wide rece ... More >>

Cam Newton Unstoppable, Kevin Kolb Acceptable in Arizona Cardinals' Win Over Carolina Panthers

The Arizona Cardinals, it appears, have found their quarterback.​There's good news and bad news for Arizona Cardinals fans following yesterday's 28-21 win over the Carolina Panthers.The good news: the Cards appear to have a real-deal quarterback in Kevin Kolb.The bad news: the team's defense sucks ... More >>

Safety Dance

The Dirty Dozen Brass Band at The Rhythm Room Last Night

Photos by Maria VassettDirty Dozen Brass Band​The Dirty Dozen Brass BandThe Rhythm RoomWednesday, May 25, 2011Maybe I don't get out that much, but I can count on my hand the number of times I've seen a sousaphone played live in concert -- especially at the Rhythm Room. Such was the case with last ... More >>

Super Bowl Preview: the Steelers, the Pack, and Why the Vince Lombardi Trophy is Going Back to Green Bay

www.Packers.com​To date, only one sixth-seeded playoff team has won the Super Bowl: the 2005 Pittsburgh Steelers. This year's Green Bay Packers reminds New Times of that year's Steelers insofar as neither of those teams is an authentic sixth-seed. Rather, both teams are SINOs, Sixth-Seeds In Name ... More >>

The Go! Team: Rolling Blackouts

The Go! Team - Rolling Blackouts​Fours years makes the heart grow fonder -- in most cases. For Brighton-based indie/positive vibes outfit The Go! Team, those four years were spent crafting yet another upbeat, dance-worthy album. Rolling Blackouts, the band's third effort and first since 2007's Pro ... More >>

Lost Cause

Arizona Cardinals Lose to Worst Team in NFL. Officially Out of Playoff Contention

​There are only three teams in the National Football League with a worse record than the Arizona Cardinals right now. The Carolina Panthers -- the worst of those three teams -- beat the Cards 19-12 yesterday in game 14 of the Arizona Cardinals' series of practices for next year (a.k.a.: the 2010 f ... More >>

John Skelton Just Ehh in Arizona Cardinals Practice For Next Year With Denver Broncos

www.azcardinals.comArizona Cardinals' rookie QB John Skelton.​The Arizona Cardinals won a football game!That's the good news. The bad news: who cares?The Cards bested the Denver Broncos in a 43-13 blowout in Glendale on Sunday, and C-squad quarterback John Skelton was spectacularly average.Skelton ... More >>

Quarterback Issues Continue to Plague Arizona Cardinals as Team Heads to Minnesota to Face Brett Favre and the Vikings

It's make or break time for Cards QB Derek Anderson.​The Arizona Cardinals will be in Minnesota this weekend to take on Brett Favre and the Vikings, and, as has been the case all season for the Cards, the quarterback situation remains dire.Too bad for the Cards, quarterback is a pretty important p ... More >>

Derek Anderson to Start at Quarterback for Arizona Cardinals Sunday

Derek Anderson will start Sunday against the Vikings...for now.​Arizona Cardinals coach Ken Whisenhunt is smack-dab in the middle of a game of musical quarterbacks -- and he loses almost every time the music stops.Whisenhunt announced this morning that Derek Anderson will make the start at quarter ... More >>

WANTED: One Decent Quarterback. Arizona Cardinals Blow Improbable Late-Game Lead Against Tampa Bay

​Arizona Cardinals rookie quarterback Max Hall threw his first NFL touchdown in the Cards' 38-35 loss to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers on Sunday. It was a short, three-yard pass to Larry Fitzgerald to give the team an early, 7-point lead. It was a nice moment -- following the touchdown, Fitzgerald's fi ... More >>

Max Hall Gets Shot at Redemption When the Arizona Cardinals Host the Tampa Bay Buccaneers Sunday

​Arizona Cardinals quarterback Max Hall will get another chance to throw a touchdown in the NFL this weekend after failing to do so in his first two NFL starts, neither of which went well.The Cardinals will host the Tampa Bay Buccaneers on Sunday and despite coming off one of the worst performance ... More >>

Buc Fever

Cards will certainly have a home-field advantage for this one

Arizona Cardinals Head to Seattle to Take on Seahawks; Miraculously, First Place in NFC West is on the Line

​The Arizona Cardinals have gotten off to a miserable start this season but it wouldn't be evident from looking at the team's record, which, astoundingly, has them tied for first place in the NFC West with the very team they play this Sunday: the Seattle Seahawks.The Cards are 3-2 on the season fo ... More >>

Arizona Cardinals Quarterback Max Hall Named Rookie of the Week

Rookie QB Max Hall.​Props to Arizona Cardinals rookie quarterback Max Hall.As we told you yesterday, Hall was one of five nominees in the running for the NFL's Rookie of the Week honors. Today, we found out Hall won.The award comes after Hall's mediocre-at-best performance against the Super Bowl c ... More >>

Arizona Cardinals QB Max Hall Nominated for NFL Rookie of the Week

Rookie QB Max Hall.​Despite not throwing a touchdown, despite not handing the ball off to someone who scored a touchdown, and despite throwing an interception in the first drive of his first game as an NFL starter, Arizona Cardinals quarterback Max Hall has been nominated to be the NFL's rookie of ... More >>

Cardinals Sin

AZ tries to de-sanctify the Super Bowl champs

Arizona Cardinals' Situation Goes From Bad to Worse; Leading Receiver Steve Breaston Out With Injury

www.sportsgrumblings.com Steve Breaston will be out for a few weeks after undergoing knee surgery.​If you were under the impression that things couldn't get much worse for the Arizona Cardinals, guess again.It's reported this afternoon that wide receiver Steve Breaston will be out the ... More >>

Beanie Wells Expected to Play as Arizona Cardinals Host Oakland Raiders in Home Opener -- But Can Derek Anderson Hit His Receivers?

​Coming off a miserable loss to the Atlanta Falcons last week -- and barely winning in St. Louis in week one -- the Arizona Cardinals have even the most loyal fans asking "what the hell happened."The answer could go several ways but the most popular explanation for the team's fall from the last tw ... More >>

Morning Poll: Do You Miss Kurt Warner Yet?

www.popcrunch.comKurt Warner​Just like last week, the Arizona Cardinals looked atrocious in yesterday's 41-7 loss to the Atlanta Falcons. Unlike last week, the Cards' worst wasn't enough to eke out a win.The Cards' new quarterback, Derek Anderson, wasn't the clutch performer to which Cardinals fan ... More >>

Arizona Cardinals Crushed by Atlanta Falcons; Derek Anderson Looked Leinart-y in Loss

www.azcardinals.comQuarterback Derek Anderson had another rough day yesterday.​To say the Arizona Cardinals played bad yesterday in the team's 41-7 loss to the Atlanta Falcons would be polite. To say the team flat-out sucked would be a more accurate description of the game.That said, the Cardinals ... More >>

Take Two for Derek Anderson; Arizona Cardinals Head to Atlanta Sunday

​The Arizona Cardinals are 1-0 after an ugly (really, really ugly) win against the Rams last week in St. Louis. With the exception of a few players -- namely Steve Breaston -- offensively, the Cardinals played like crap across the board.The Cards head to Atlanta this weekend to take on the Falcons ... More >>

American Hero/Zero

Brett Favre sucks donkey parts. Or the future Hall of Famer is the most awesome being ever to throw a pigskin.

Former Carolina Panthers Star Arrested in Avondale After Choking Baby Mama

Former Carolina Panthers linebacker Mark Fields​A former NFL linebacker found himself smack-dab in the middle of some baby-mama drama Sunday night, which apparently turned physical and came to end when he was arrested by police.According to court documents obtained by New Times, Mark Fields, ... More >>

Arizona Cardinals Single-Game Tickets On Sale Saturday

ssur.org​Fear not, Cardinals fans. Your time is almost here. With the D-Backs not turning any heads lately and the Suns and Coyotes not generating much news, it's time to focus on football again. Even if it's just the announcement that single-game tickets for the 2010 season go on sale this Satu ... More >>

Valley Sports Teams Rank Unexpectedly High in ESPN's "Ultimate Standings"

blogs.bu.edu ESPN​ESPN has released its "Ultimate Standings", a list that ranks each sports franchise in the four major categories (football, baseball, basketball and hockey). This is the eighth year ESPN has compiled such a list, and this year's rankings should please Valley sports fans. ... More >>

Arizona Cardinals 2010 Schedule Includes Christmas-Day Home Game Against Dallas Cowboys

​The NFL revealed the Arizona Cardinals 2010 schedule this morning and not only will the Cards host a Monday night game in Glendale this Kurt Warner-less season, Jesus will have a little competition for a fan-base on Christmas Day.The Cards will host a somewhat-rare Christmas Day game against the ... More >>

How Treme Can Get It Right

Super Sunday

Super Sunday

Super Sunday

Arizona Cardinals Beat Down "Da Bears" in Chicago

www.thescroogereport.com​Kurt Warner's Jekyll and Hyde season has been nothing short of maddening. Last week, after giving up five interceptions and a fumble in the Cards' 34-21 loss to the Carolina Panthers, we were calling for Kurt's head (not to mention Coach Ken's pl ... More >>

Fire Whisenhunt: Arizona Cardinals Need a Solution to Their Offensive Woes. Here It Is.

Expect a lot more of this in '09.​ As Da Cards head to Chi-Town for a Soldier Field showdown with Jay Cutler and Da Bears on Sunday, many in Da PHX are still smarting from the Birds' 34-21 mugging by the Carolina Panthers and the world's worst quarterback, Jake Delhomme, last weekend in Gle ... More >>

Less than Jake

Cards fans hope Delhomme coughs up another W for the Birds

Friday Night Frights: Carl Hayden High Football Players Have More to Worry About Than Winning Games

NFC First-Round Playoff: Arizona Cardinals vs. Atlanta Falcons

Thy Bidwell Be Done

Sucking up to the king of futility

Suck It Up

Changing of the Cards

Redbirds look to make their entire existence ancient history