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Immigrants Who Fight Deportation Are Packed Into Federal Gulags for Months or Years Before Their Cases Are Heard

Gary Whalen Is the Second Would-Be Candidate to Withdraw from the Phoenix City Council Race This Year

Phil Roberts Exaggerated the Phoenix PD's Kidnapping Statistics, Then Tried to Debunk His Own Numbers

Medical Marijuana Is Under Attack in Arizona Again -- But This Time, Voters and Patients Hold the High Ground

Joe Arpaio Challenges "Any Reporter" to Hot Dog Eating Contest. We Accept. Loser Quits His Job?

Joe Arpaio's Twitter pageGame on, sheriff.​Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio's got a hankerin' for rocker Alice Coopers' two-foot wiener.Apparently so impressed with the two-foot hot dogs served at Coopers' Cooperstown restaurant in Phoenix, the sheriff has challenged "any reporter" to an eating ... More >>

Russell Pearce and J.T. Ready in You Write the Caption

Your caption here​In honor of the recall of Senate President Russell Pearce, we've chosen an oldie-but-goody for this week's New Times You Write the Caption contest.You Write the Caption's pretty self-explanatory. Here's how you play: we show you a picture, like the one above of Senate President ( ... More >>

Morning Poll: Best Reader Caption for Photo of Senate President Russell Pearce and White Supremacist J.T. Ready

Your caption here.​Last week, we asked our readers to offer suggestions for a caption for the above photo of Senate President (for now) Russell Pearce and his white supremacist pal J.T. Ready for New Times' You Write the Caption contest.Once again, you didn't disappoint.We had nearly 70 responses ... More >>

Winner of Best Reader Caption for Photo of Russell Pearce and J.T. Ready: Mistalee

"When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag & carrying a Bible." - Sinclair Lewis."​Congratulations to the New Times reader who goes by the handle Mistalee, you are the proud winner of this week's New Times You Write the Caption contest. On Friday, we asked readers to provi ... More >>

Governor Jan Brewer in You Write Caption

James KingYour caption here​You Write the Caption's pretty self-explanatory. Here's how you play: we show you a picture, like the one above we snapped of Governor Jan Brewer.You -- in the comment section of this post -- then write what you think would be an appropriate caption for the photo.On Mo ... More >>

July 29 In Blogs: I CACTUS PHX, Cafe Boa, Odd Future, and Ame Deal

​In the 24-hour news cycle, it can be difficult to keep up. We have the solution. Check back on Valley Fever every evening for highlights from each of New Times' blogs.Today's entries:

Morning Poll: Best Reader Caption for Jan Brewer in You Write the Caption?

James KingYour caption here​Last week, we asked our readers to offer suggestions for a caption for the above photo we snapped of Governor Jan Brewer for this week's New Times' You Write the Caption contest.Once again, you didn't disappoint.We had more than 50 responses in the comment section of th ... More >>

Best Reader Caption for Photo of Jan Brewer: Maybe368

James King"Ask not what your country have did for you, but what you have did for your country."​Congratulations to the New Times reader who goes by the handle Maybe368, you are the proud winner of this week's New Times You Write the Caption contest. On Friday, we asked readers to provide what the ... More >>

August 3 In Blogs: a Panty Dropper, Moscow Mule, Ryan Rousseau, and Joe Arpaio

​In the 24-hour news cycle, it can be difficult to keep up. We have the solution. Check back on Valley Fever every evening for highlights from each of New Times' blogs.Today's entries:

August 4 In Blogs: Outer Space, Vegan Snacks for Babies, Katy Perry, Russell Pearce, and "Racist" Joe Arpaio

​In the 24-hour news cycle, it can be difficult to keep up. We have the solution. Check back on Valley Fever every evening for highlights from each of New Times' blogs.Today's entries:

Joe Arpaio's Elvis-Themed Panty Party in You Write the Caption

James KingYour caption here​Above, you can see the photo we snapped of Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio at his Elvis-themed panty party at Tent City earlier this week.Arpaio sang a duet with an Elvis impersonator as female jail inmates threw pink panties at him. Then there was cake...and expired ... More >>

Morning Poll: Best Reader Caption For Joe Arpaio's Elvis-Themed Panty Party?

James KingYour caption here​Last week, we asked our readers to offer suggestions for a caption for the above photo we snapped of Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio at last week's Elvis-themed panty party at Tent City for New Times' You Write the Caption contest.Once again, you didn't disappoint.W ... More >>

Winner of Best Reader Caption for Photo of Joe Arpaio's Elvis-Themed Panty Party: Mikey1969

James King"Meanwhile, at the Hall of Justice: The sound of crickets chirping filled the air as everyone on the Arpaio investigation(s) took the day off... As for the inmates, after the 15 minute panty party, they went back to stewing rats to supplement the meager rations handed out by the glorious A ... More >>

Joe Arpaio Eating Mexican Pizza in You Write the Caption

James KingYour caption here​Above, you can see the photo we snapped of Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio struggling to eat a Mexican pizza from Taco Bell during a ceremony honoring the winner of the sheriff's Inmate Coloring Contest.You Write the Caption's pretty self-explanatory. Here's how you ... More >>

Sleeping Inmate Ramon Corrales' Best Mugshot Ever in You Write the Caption

MCSOYour caption here.​The above photo is the actual mugshot taken by a Maricopa County Sheriff's Office detention officer of assault suspect Ramon Corrales.As you can see, he's apparently resorted to our current favorite way to stick it to the man: not even showing law enforcement the common cour ... More >>

Best Reader Caption For Sleeping Inmate Ramon Corrales' Best Mugshot Ever?

MCSOYour caption here.​Last week, we asked our readers to offer suggestions for a caption for the actual mugshot taken by a Maricopa County Sheriff's Office detention officer of assault suspect Ramon Corrales for this week's New Times' You Write the Caption contest..As you can see, he's apparentl ... More >>

Winner of Best Reader Caption For Sleeping Inmate Ramon Cardone's Best Mugshot Ever: wherewasi

MCSO"...and they BETTER NOT wake me up until that friggin coloring contest is OVER!"​Congratulations to the New Times reader who goes by the handle wherewasi, you are the proud winner of this week's New Times You Write the Caption contest. On Friday, we asked readers to provide what they think wo ... More >>

Winner of Best Reader Caption For Michele Bachmann Kissing Joe Arpaio's A$$: Shadeaux14

Joe Arpaio's Twitter page"Damn it Joe, try not to go outside of the lines or mommy will have to take your crayons away."​Congratulations to the New Times reader who goes by the handle Shadeaux14, you are the proud winner of this week's New Times You Write the Caption contest. On Friday, we asked ... More >>

Winner of Best Reader Caption for Photo of "Internet Sensation" George Lindell: R Russell73

Meth hits you hard, bro!​Congratulations to the New Times reader who goes by the handle R Russell73, you are the proud winner of this week's New Times You Write the Caption contest. On Friday, we asked readers to provide what they think would be an appropriate caption for the above photo of the In ... More >>

Mayor Gordon May Be Remembered Most for Compromising His Ethics for the Woman He Loved

Meth hits you hard, bro!​Congratulations to the New Times reader who goes by the handle R Russell73, you are the proud winner of this week's New Times You Write the Caption contest. On Friday, we asked readers to provide what they think would be an appropriate caption for the above photo of the In ... More >>

September 29 In Blogs: Olivia Cortes, No Festival Required, Quick Henry, TEXAZ Grill, and Buying Cigarettes

​In the 24-hour news cycle, it can be difficult to keep up. We have the solution. Check back on Valley Fever every evening for highlights from each of New Times' blogs. Today's entries:

Best Reader Caption For Photo of Joe Arpaio's Geriatric Goon Squad?

James KingYour Caption Here.​Last week, we asked our readers to offer suggestions for an appropriate caption for the above photo of Maricopa County Joe Arpaio's aging goon squad for this week's New Times' You Write the Caption contest..We had 80 responses in the comment section of the post, whic ... More >>

Winner of Best Reader Caption for Photo of Joe Arpaio's Geriatric Goon Squad: Painful Rectal Itch

James King"All right maggots, crank up your Beltones and repeat after me: 'This is my clipboard. Thare are many like it, but this one is mine. My clipboard is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my clipboard is useless. Without my clipboard, I am us ... More >>

Winner of Best Reader Caption For Photo of Shamed Former County Attorney Andy Thomas and Hench-Woman Rachel Alexander: Vic

Rachel Alexander's Facebook page."You said I'd be assistant U.S. Attorney General but all I got to show for all this is this shitty McCain badge!"​Congratulations to the New Times reader who goes by the handle Vic, you are the proud winner of this week's New Times You Write the Caption contest.On ... More >>

Russell Pearce, Michele Bachmann, and Trent Franks in You Write the Caption

James KingYour Caption Here.​Thanks to a terrific photo we swiped from the Facebook page of Rachel Alexander, a former henchwoman for shamed former Maricopa County Attorney Andrew Thomas (which you can see here), we've been sitting on the above photo of Arizona Senate President Russell Pearce, Con ... More >>

Winner of Best Reader Caption For Photo of Michele Bachmann, Trent Franks, and Russell Pearce: Reggie VV

James KingThe United State Geological Survey announced today that due to the confluence of three dopes, the Salt River ran backwards for the first time in recorded history.​Congratulations to the New Times reader who goes by the handle Reggie VV, you are the proud winner of this week's New Times Y ... More >>

Herman Cain and Joe Arpaio in You Write the Caption

James KingYour Caption Here​In honor of the sexual harassment allegations against Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain, we've opted to go with the above photo we snapped of Cain puckerin' up for Joe Arpaio's boo-tay for this week's New Times You Write the Caption contest.Cain, as you may ... More >>

Dfactor, Plainfield Butchers, and Roxy Dioxide to Perform Tuesday at Yucca Tap

Courtesy DfactorFrom left to right, Gary Martin, Dave Murrow and Stew Hall.​Local musician Dave Murrow is a man with the magic hat. One minute he puts it on, and in a rhythmic whirlwind of sound, he becomes Dfactor Dave, front man of power pop rock band Dfactor. Or he can use it to reach in an ... More >>

Best Reader Caption for Photo of Herman Cain and Joe Arpaio?

James KingYour Caption Here​Last week, we asked our readers to offer suggestions for an appropriate caption for the above photo we snapped of presidential candidate Herman Cain and Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio for this week's New Times' You Write the Caption contest..We had more than 40 re ... More >>

Winner of Best Reader Caption For Photo of Herman Cain and Joe Arpaio: InandOutinMaricopaCounty

James King'Before I begin I need your attention. The gentleman standing behind me was found wandering the streets and appears confused. He's about 80,can't remember his name or where he lives, and has a tattoo that reads "SB1070" on his shaft. If you can identify him, please call the Phoenix Poli ... More >>

Best Reader Caption For Photo of Herman Cain Brain-Farting: Bnbk

"Lord, I beg of you, please don't let me come off looking as stupid as Rick Perry."​Congratulations to the New Times reader who goes by the handle Bnbk, you are the proud winner of this week's New Times You Write the Caption contest.On Friday, we asked readers to provide what they think would be ... More >>

Arizona's Machine Gun Christmas in You Write the Caption

Scottsdale Gun ClubYour Caption Here​Nothing quite says "merry Christmas" like Santa and a few high-powered machine guns -- in Arizona, anyway.In honor of the Scottsdale Gun Club's celebrating the holidays by giving people the chance to have holiday photos taken of their children holding machine g ... More >>

Best Reader Caption For Arizona's Machine Gun Christmas: Ross

Scottsdale Gun Club"'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, we had offed every mouse. When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter. Grabbing my Uzi, I took careful aim, what a rush, it was, to kill ... More >>

Joe Arpaio's "Birther" Investigation in You Write the Caption

Your Caption Here​Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio may have blown it on 432 sex-crime investigations, but there's one "investigation" he's quite proud of: his "Cold Case Posse's" investigation into whether President Barack Obama's eligible to be president.In honor of the sheriff's (embarrassing) ... More >>

Sheriff Arpaio's Lawyer Chided by Ninth Circuit Court Judge Over Failure to do Homework in New Times Case; Panel Focused on Questions of Arpaio, Thomas Immunity

Alex Kozinski, Chief Judge of the U.S. Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals, wasn't thrilled to hear that Sheriff Arpaio's lawyer didn't do her homework.​A U.S. Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals judge ripped Sheriff Joe Arpaio's lawyer for her lack of preparation for today's hearing in New ... More >>

Joe Arpaio's Lawyer Grilled by Ninth Circuit About Why Sheriff Should Remain Exempt from New Times' False-Arrest Lawsuit

Sheriff Joe Arpaio​Editor's note: This post was written by Peter Jamison, who covered the hearing for us and our sister paper, the SF Weekly: An 11-member panel of judges from the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit had tough questions today for Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio's ... More >>

Feedback from the Issue of Thursday, December 15th, 2011

Sheriff Joe Arpaio​Editor's note: This post was written by Peter Jamison, who covered the hearing for us and our sister paper, the SF Weekly: An 11-member panel of judges from the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit had tough questions today for Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio's ... More >>

Joe Arpaio's PR Puppy in You Write the Caption

Your Caption Here​Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio's having a rough week -- Department of Justice investigations, botched sex-crime investigations, etc.To celebrate Arpaio's comeuppance, we're goin' with the above photo of America's self-proclaimed "toughest sheriff" cozyin' up to his PR puppy f ... More >>

Best Reader Caption For Joe Arpaio's PR Puppy: shadeaux14

Puppy: "If I drag my ass on the carpet, will this big, greasy turd come loose?"​Congratulations to the New Times reader who goes by the handle shadeaux14, you are the proud winner of this week's New Times You Write the Caption contest.On Friday, we asked readers to provide what they think would b ... More >>

How Undocumented Immigrants Helped Change Phoenix's City Council Race

Puppy: "If I drag my ass on the carpet, will this big, greasy turd come loose?"​Congratulations to the New Times reader who goes by the handle shadeaux14, you are the proud winner of this week's New Times You Write the Caption contest.On Friday, we asked readers to provide what they think would b ... More >>

"Marlboro Macho Man" Matt Salmon's Transformation From Lobbyist to Cowboy in You Write the Caption

Your caption here.​Former Congressman Matt Salmon wants to be a congressman again. He's currently running in District 6 -- and apparently is in the process of transforming from lobbyist to cowboy to appeal to the District's far-right-wing electorate as he fights his way through a GOP primary with ... More >>

Jan Brewer Humiliating Arizona in You Write the Caption

APYour caption here.​Once again, Arizona is getting national media attention for something humiliating. Once again, it's Governor Jan Brewer's fault.Governor Glug-Glug, as we're sure you know, stuck her finger in the face of President Barack Obama as the two apparently argued on the tarmac at Phoe ... More >>

Businessman Brian Weymouth Gets on the Wrong Side of His Celebrity Partners

APYour caption here.​Once again, Arizona is getting national media attention for something humiliating. Once again, it's Governor Jan Brewer's fault.Governor Glug-Glug, as we're sure you know, stuck her finger in the face of President Barack Obama as the two apparently argued on the tarmac at Phoe ... More >>

Jan Brewer, Umm, Fingering Paul Babeu (and Greta Van Susteren Yuckin' it Up) in You Write the Caption

Pinal County Sheriff's OfficeYour caption here.​By popular demand, we submit to you the above photo of Governor Jan Brewer fingering Pinal County Sheriff/Congressional candidate Paul Babeu for this week's New Times You Write the Caption contest.Adding to the fun is the (ahem) hil-arious caption ad ... More >>

Best Reader Caption For Photo Of Jan Brewer Fingering Paul Babeu: Superbowl sex worker

Pinal County Sheriff's Office"OK Ma'am, the alphabet does not have any numbers in it. You've failed that test and you couldn't walk a straight line. Let's try something else. Follow my finger with your eyes without moving your head. No ma'am, YOU follow MY finger with your, oh for christ sake. Turn ... More >>

Soundcheck, Casey Donahew Band, and Lenny Kravitz Over the Weekend

Love Me Nots​New Times Soundcheck 2012 Night 1 New Times Soundcheck kicked off with 14 diverse and talented bands. Regardless of personal tastes, every performer was entertaining to watch. Like most music festivals, the artists played at overlapping times and made for some difficult decisions ... More >>