Casey Carlson: Just one night away from going back to making bubble tea for good.After a horrible, seizure-inducing Hollywood Week, I was actually sort of excited to get this show on the road and hear the offerings of The Best Singers in All the Land, as decreed by the "experts." I should have known better than to be optimistic. Have I learned nothing over the course of eight seasons? Two hours and 12 singers later, all I wanted to do was lie down, put a cold compress on my head, and call my mom
So after sitting through two hours of complete pap Tuesday night as American Idol's first group of 12 attempted to stay on key long enough to get halfway-decent remarks from the judges, you'd think we'd deserve a break, right? In the Land of the Sea-douche, however, there is no rest for the weary, and so we were forced to sit through an hour-long results show Wednesday night that could have taken all of 30 seconds using Michael Scott's method of naming people on The Office (check it starting at
You melted my face, Lambert, you face-melter, you.
After last week's Group 1 train wreck, American Idol's Group 2 was pretty much destined (to borrow a Randy Jackson-ism) to "knock it out the box" last night. And, overall, they did. Obviously, there were still some performances that made me want to strangle myself with my laptop power cord and those that left me disappointed to the point of waving my fist at the TV screen yelling, "What were you thinking?" (I'm looking at you, Kai Kalama. We'll
So, it'd be easy to reduce blind singer Scott MacIntyre to a series of puns about his visual impairment (read: the title of his post). Lots of other bloggers refer to him as Blind Guy, and he's actually got a good sense of self-deprication about the whole thing, so we don't think he would really mind a few blind jokes at his expense (see: Telling Seadouche to give him a high five. "I'm a stationary target!" he says). But here's the thing: unlike other Idol contestants who milk their backstory fo
There was never really too much doubt that Scottsdale's Scott MacIntyre would make the Idol Top 12, but last night "America" (as Seadouche condescendingly refers to the tiny percentage of the American population that actually watches the show) made it official. Scotty the Body (as Seadouche condescendingly refers to Scott) has one of the coveted 12 spots, so the Valley has its first 'Idol' hopeful to root for since David Hernandez and his inconvenient banana hammock wearing past and Brooke White
CAW CAW to you too, Megan Corkery. At long last, it has come to this--after weeks of watching tone-deaf wonders humiliate themselves during the first round of auditions, some slightly less tone-deaf wonders forget the lyrics to their songs during Hollywood Week, Casey Carlson give a bad name to bubble tea makers everywhere and Pacittigate--we finally get to hear the Top 12 bring it. What's that, you say? The producers mindfucked us last week, along with poor Anoop Desai, and turned the Top 12 in
In the midnight hour, she cried "More, more more!"Somebody accused me in one of my recent American Idol posts of writing something with a homophobic bent to pretty-obviously gay also-ran Ricky Braddy. Now, I've been accused of a lot of things in my life, but I pity the foo' who accuses me of not loving the gays. If I hated my homosexual homies, would I be promoting the Rebel Yell Festival, an LGBT-friendly, free event taking place in downtown Phoenix along the 5th Street galleries and shops this
