Casey Carlson: Just one night away from going back to making bubble tea for good.After a horrible, seizure-inducing Hollywood Week, I was actually sort of excited to get this show on the road and hear the offerings of The Best Singers in All the Land, as decreed by the "experts." I should have known better than to be optimistic. Have I learned nothing over the course of eight seasons? Two hours and 12 singers later, all I wanted to do was lie down, put a cold compress on my head, and call my mom
So after sitting through two hours of complete pap Tuesday night as American Idol's first group of 12 attempted to stay on key long enough to get halfway-decent remarks from the judges, you'd think we'd deserve a break, right? In the Land of the Sea-douche, however, there is no rest for the weary, and so we were forced to sit through an hour-long results show Wednesday night that could have taken all of 30 seconds using Michael Scott's method of naming people on The Office (check it starting at
You melted my face, Lambert, you face-melter, you.
After last week's Group 1 train wreck, American Idol's Group 2 was pretty much destined (to borrow a Randy Jackson-ism) to "knock it out the box" last night. And, overall, they did. Obviously, there were still some performances that made me want to strangle myself with my laptop power cord and those that left me disappointed to the point of waving my fist at the TV screen yelling, "What were you thinking?" (I'm looking at you, Kai Kalama. We'll
CAW CAW to you too, Megan Corkery. At long last, it has come to this--after weeks of watching tone-deaf wonders humiliate themselves during the first round of auditions, some slightly less tone-deaf wonders forget the lyrics to their songs during Hollywood Week, Casey Carlson give a bad name to bubble tea makers everywhere and Pacittigate--we finally get to hear the Top 12 bring it. What's that, you say? The producers mindfucked us last week, along with poor Anoop Desai, and turned the Top 12 in
