The White House

Why Talk More About Jay-Z's Cuba Trip Than Rick Ross's Date Rape Rap?

Having solved all of the country's economic problems, come to an agreement on DOMA, and figured out what to do about gun control, the American government finally has time to focus on what really matters: where richer-than-God superstars Jay-Z and Beyoncé spend their obscenely luxurious vacations. ... More >>

Obama's Gun-Law Proposals: Yay or Nay?

Yesterday, President Obama released his plan to curb gun violence, a plan that consists of both executive orders and recommendations for Congress.As the "Colt Single Action Army Revolver" state, Arizona's probably got a lot of folks who are concerned about changing gun laws.

White House Responds to Secession Petitions, Explains How America Works

Although the meaningless online petition begging the federal government to let Arizona secede didn't even get enough signatures to warrant a response, eight other states' petitions did.To paraphrase the White House employee who responded to the petitions, "No."See also:-Arizona Secession Movement Ca ... More >>

Arizona Secession Movement Can't Even Gather Enough Support on Meaningless Online Petition

Don't worry, folks -- President Obama will not have to take into consideration the thousands of people who wanted Arizona to secede from the United States.It's not like the president would've given a rat's ass either way, but one of the young bucks at Cronkite News Service noticed that the online pe ... More >>

Philly Cheesesteak Sandwich Meltdown: Philadelphia Sandwich vs. Big B's Hangover

Thanks to Philadelphia restaurateurs Pat and Harry Olivieri, hungry meat lovers have been enjoying what is now known as the Philly Cheesesteak sandwich since the 1930s. The original sandwich was lacking the crucial "cheese" component, but that was remedied later with the addition of mild provolone ( ... More >>

Joe Arpaio's Latest Justification for Immigrant Roundups -- Voter Fraud

Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio has a new excuse for his "employer sanctions operations," after the boys in beige ran the 59th immigrant roundup this morning, and we'll give you a hint -- it still has little or nothing to do with sanctioning employers.Arpaio says deputies raided Circle B Grading ... More >>

Treasure MammaL's "Real Talk Diaries" Chapter Five

Friday, March 16, 9:00 a.m. I wake up to the above photo. This tour feels more than three days old. Outside, the morning is overcast but refreshing. While my bandmates sleep, I do push-ups and yoga in the backyard; Treasure MammaL teaches you not to give a fuck in public. I reflect on the poor ... More >>

Jan Brewer/Barack Obama Finger-Gate: Was it "Overblown?"

​The White House is downplaying the embarrassing scene that unfolded on the tarmac at Phoenix-Mesa Gateway Airport on Wednesday, when Governor Jan Brewer was photographed sticking her finger in the face of President Barack Obama as the two (according to Brewer, anyway) disagreed on Brewer's accoun ... More >>

President Obama's Sexy Al Green Croon, Plus Four Other Presidents That Won Over the Country With Music

Like him or hate him -- and God knows our commenters are divided -- but you can't deny President Obama's ability to speak. His 2012 Campaign Kickoff State of the Union address on Tuesday night was yet another example of the man's public command, but to be honest, we couldn't really concentrate on wh ... More >>

Crescent Ballroom, Roxy Lounge, Rogue West, and Other Openings and Closings in 2011

​Where was your favorite place to catch a concert this past year? We're willing to bet all the cash we got in our Christmas stockings it was at the much-ballyhooed Crescent Ballroom. Or maybe at the Tempe Tavern or Scottsdale's Roxy Lounge. All three of these pimp live music palaces made a major s ... More >>

Joe Arpaio Cites The Globe's "Inside" White House Sources About First Lady's "Panic" Over Sheriff's "Birther" Probe

Joe Arpaio: supermarket tabloids "do the best journalistic stories."​First Lady Michelle Obama apparently is in a "panic" over Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio's probe into whether her husband, President Barack Obama, is a U.S. citizen -- if you believe the supermarket tabloid The Globe's "insid ... More >>

Fox News Sparks Controversy Over Common's White House Invitation

​Being biased is just another part of doing jobs at Fox News. This time, they're suddenly changing their opinion of rapper Common now that he has received an invitation to a White House event, according to Rolling Stone.Fox News has labeled Common as a "vile rapper" without any support. The claim ... More >>

Barack Obama Holds Immigration Dog And Pony Show With Arnold Schwarzenegger, Michael Bloomberg, But No Members of Congress

White House Left, right, or center: Don't hold your breath waiting for "immigration reform."​President Barack Obama is hosting a meeting to outline his views on immigration reform this afternoon with top cabinet officials and national politicians, including New York City Mayor Michael Bloo ... More >>

Ask a Mexican on Manifest Destiny and Going to Museums

McDonald's Gets Some McLove as Arizona Legislators Put the Kibosh on Happy Meal Bans; Bill Awaits Governor Jan Brewer's Approval

foundshit.com Have a McCrappy plastic toy too. ​The Arizona Legislature's had a busy couple of weeks -- Governor Jan Brewer signed a bill banning imaginary abortions and the state Senate's trying to make sure Arizonans can't vote a Kenyan into the White House -- and on Wednesday, the Legi ... More >>

Hillary Clinton Blows Justice Department's Spot; Says DOJ Will Sue Over SB 1070

www.flatrock.org​ U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton may have let the cat out of the bag when it comes to the federal government's apparent plans to sue Arizona over the state's controversial, new immigration law.In an unscripted interview with an Ecuadorian television station today, Cl ... More >>

Barack Obama Chats with Jan Brewer, as Joe Arpaio Pulls Another Anti-Immigrant Stunt

Brewer and Obama, palling it up: If this doesn't gall Latinos and liberals, what will?It was all way too polite, and obviously calculated by the White House in an attempt to protect President's right flank.I mean Governor Jan Brewer's meeting with President Barack Obama at the White House today. Thi ... More >>

Russell Pearce's Immigration Bill Moving President Barack Obama to Action on Immigration Reform? Nah, Doesn't look like it

Hard to fathom that there could be  Russell Pearce​anything positive about state Senator Russell Pearce's immigration bill, SB 1070, an extremist "solution" to undocumented immigrants in Arizona that makes their mere presence in here state a crime.The bill would also allo ... More >>

Tiger Woods Announces Return to Golf; No Word on Return to Sex

www.upnextinsports.com​Congratulations sports fans, you can start watching golf again without dozing off. After a sexless four months away from the sport he helped re-invent, Tiger Woods announced he will be returning to the world of professional golf in less than a month. Tiger released a ... More >>

Judicial Watch Demands Records from Phoenix Mayor Phil Gordon's Security Detail

The city may have to turn over security logs for Phoenix Mayor Phil Gordon -- or face a lawsuit.​ A conservative think-tank is demanding that the city of Phoenix release two years' worth of "activity logs" for Mayor Phil Gordon's security detail -- a set of records the city has previously re ... More >>

November 16 In Blogs: Joe Biden, Metric, The Big Pour, and Sarah Palin

​In the 24-hour news cycle it can be difficult to keep up. We have the solution. Check back on Valley Fever every evening for highlights from each of New Times' blogs. Today's entries: Feathered Bastard: Joe Arpaio Showed Up Uninvited to Joe Biden Function, According to the White House Hillb ... More >>

The Parlor Has Transformed a Mid-Century Beauty Parlor into a Popular Pizzeria

Letter to Obama Urges End to 287(g), Signed by 521 Organizations

from the White House President Obama gets whacked, but from the left this time​A just-released letter to President Barack Obama endorsed by a diverse group of 521 civil rights, legal and cultural organizations -- including the ACLU, the ADL, MALDEF, the NAACP Legal Defense Fu ... More >>

Hot Links: Graves for Gilbert, Guns in School, and MCSO Raids

​The town of Gilbert is a nice place to live, but it's no place to go when you die -- it's the only southeast Valley community without a cemetery. Residents have recently begun e-mailing Gilbert Mayor John Lewis, requesting that a cemetery be built. Lewis said constructing a graveyard may not be f ... More >>

June 18 In Blogs: Joe Arpaio, Loretta Lynn, Barcelona, and a 575-Pound Salmon Shark

In the 24-hour news cycle it can be difficult to keep up. We have the solution. Check back on Valley Fever every evening for highlights from each of New Times' blogs. Today's entries: Feathered Bastard: Joe Arpaio Confronted by Channel 5 Over Video of Crying Child Robbed of Her Parents by MCSO Whi ... More >>

Can Janet Napolitano Fail Upward to the Supreme Court?

image by Jasmine Hobeheidar Be afraid, be very afraid... Here we go again. With the announced retirement of Supreme Court Justice David Souter, the buzz is that the White House wants to pick a non-judge female to become one of the nine. So of course this means some analysts with nothing but ... More >>

Chuck D on Barack Obama and "Fight the Power"

Cooking, Sex, and Lying About Grandma’s Gravy Recipe

Hot Links: 8-year-old Who Killed Two in St. Johns to Appear in Court; AIG Posts Losses, Gets Bigger Bailout; Local Election Results Delayed

John McCain and Wife Cindy's Former Mansion for Sale!

Janet Napolitano Leaps to Sarah Palin's Defense, and I Think I'm Going to Puke.

Ask a Mexican has one answer for young illegal aliens hoping to become legal: "Go back to Mexico"

The BMI and Billboard Acoustic Brunch

An Unreasonable Doubt

Anti-Nader critics are full of hooey

Apocalypse How

Growing in the dark

Rainbow Eminem

Maybe it's a concept album

Violent Femmes

Tender-hearted mutants kick significant keister in X2: X-Men United

Electile Dysfunction

Reflections on democracy inaction

Letters

From the week of 11-09-2000

Season's Eatings

Flashes

First Lady of the Theater

"I Am Not a Cook!"

Flashes

It's Topps!

Tim Burton turns his ray gun on everything in sight when Mars Attacks!, and it's good, gory fun

Babbitt's Interior

As the White House flips and flops, Interior Secretary Bruce Babbitt takes his environmental losses and victories in stride. Is his stoicism a necessary virtue or a political vice?

Tempest in a Saucer

President Unaccounted For

JACKIE'S FINAL PERFORMANCE

THE MCLAUGHLIN GOOFS