1. Sweet = Unique Flavor = You are Very Impressive
Impress your friends with a glass of bubbly that is known for its sweet taste and has a complex but soft flavor. Although it's not technically considered Champagne, we recommend trying a Prosecco. It varies from Champagne in taste, grape, and region, but hey, if it looks like champagne and drinks like Champagne, it doesn't really matter what you call it.
Try the Riondo Prosecco ($5-$15). It's cheap but has a soft and sparkly flavor with a crisp finish. If you are looking for something a bit fancier, try the Nino Franco ($12-$22) -- an Italian classic with a lively flavor with notes of bread and citrus.
2. Party Like a Rap Star
As far as we can tell, rappers MUST be bubbly aficionados so we're using them as inspiration. An easy place to start is Cristal, but Jay-Z boycotted the brand years ago so we recommend trying Krug Champagne Grand Cuvee Brut. At around $200 a pop, it's a bit pricey, but you're a badass so you don't care. Or for a cheaper option, the Veuve Clicquot Brut offers a crisp, full flavor for $30-$50.
3. Or Just Go Cheap
Maybe you could care less about what your bottle says about you. Man, you just want to party. And that is fine, too. We highly recommend the Freixenet Cordon Negro Extra Dry. It's extremely drinkable and typically under $10. The Gloria Ferrer Royal Cuvee is typically under $20 and packs a refreshing and crisp taste.
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If you must, buy a bottle of Andre for $5. However we don't recommend downing more than a bottle. Cheap sparkling wine is extremely acidic and can not only make your tongue feel like it was raped by a piece of wool, but it can also contribute to a horrible hangover.
Happy New Year!