By Wynter Holden
After getting turned down by two bartenders at Chandler’s Regal Beagle, we finally hit the mark with someone who couldn’t refuse or pawn us off on someone else: the token new girl. Michelle Anthony is a tiny, adorable blonde who giggles nervously when she talks, loves gymnastics, and holds down three jobs while going to school. She doesn’t have the accent, but her Minnesota roots show in her bad sense of direction (which way’s north again?) and her love for the Vikings and the Twins.
Chow Bella: Do you know where the bar got its name? Michelle Anthony: Three’s Company.
CB: Impressive. Are you even old enough to have watched the show? MA: Actually, I didn’t know because I’ve never watched it, but a customer told me. My parents told me, too.
CB: What’s your favorite drink to make? MA: Adios Motherfuckers are kinda fun. They’re blue and all the liquor you need is right there. You just grab four bottles at a time and pour ‘em in. It’s simple and pretty.
CB: How about yourself. What do you like to drink? MA: I’m a vodka girl. Grape and Sprite, very simple.
CB: Wait, are you even over 21? MA: I will be on Saturday!
CB: What brought you to Phoenix? MA: The weather. I couldn’t live in eight months of snow ever again. It’s amazing here. I don’t think I’ve complained about the heat even once! I get about a week of snow over Christmas when I go home to visit. That’s enough.
CB: What would you do if you won a million bucks today? MA: I'd definitely buy a car. And I would invest in Apple. They had PCs at my high school and every five minutes I had my hand up asking for help. I grew up with Macs and I just can’t grasp the concepts of a PC. I have "Mac mind."
CB: How often do you get hit on? MA: Multiple times a night. I’m supposed to appear single, but never be single.
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CB: Have you seen any nudity on the job yet? MA: No! Well, actually yes. This guy told me that his glasses were x-ray vision. Yeah, whatever. So he hands me his glasses and says here, try them on. So as I’m putting them on, he takes his shirt off. I know, it’s pretty funny.
CB: That’s pretty creepy. What other weird experiences have you had at work? MA: I was bartending at another bar and this guy comes in who has some sort of weird infatuation with me. He was so persistent; he wanted a kiss on the lips. I was like, no absolutely not. But I’ll give you a kiss on the cheek. He says “come on, just do it really, really quick so God can’t see it.”
What? I look at him like he’s nuts and he says, “No, you don’t understand. Me and God are like best friends. Me and Jesus spoon all the time at night." I was like, did he really just say that to me? We booted him outta the bar and he never got his kiss.