Hutzler 571 Banana Slicer Super Review Is Slightly Insane

This guy is really excited about the Hutzler 571 banana slicer, really excited.
This guy is really excited about the Hutzler 571 banana slicer, really excited.
Screen Cap: DartanionLondon/Youtube

The Hutzler 571 Banana Slicer, which does exactly what it says it does and little else, is widely regarded as one of the most useless kitchen instruments ever invented. So why then has it been reviewed more than 3,000 times on Amazon.com?

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Because people on the Internet love inside jokes and this banana slicer is their latest target of mock public adulation. While people continue to log on to Amazon.com to post mock reviews, Consumersearch has taken the gag to another level of tongue-in-cheek hilarity.

ConsumerSearch aggregates reviews from Amazon.com and other locations and curates them with their own analysis of those reviews. Theoretically, this saves shoppers the trouble of parsing hundreds of reviews to see if people actually liked the item in question or if they're just complaining that the third-party fulfillment company took an extra day to ship their item.

Their reviews trend toward the neutral and deadpan, which is perfect for recounting that "reviewers generally agree that the Hutzler 571 Banana Slicer does what it claims to do: produce perfect, even slices with minimal effort." They go on to note dryly that "many Amazon users are equally impressed; one in particular is thrilled about no longer needing to mark bananas with a ruler and pencil." They address the ease of use, durability, and customer service. According to their meta review, it would appear that the largest complaint appears to be in regards to durability, with some customers complaining that the slicer does not stack up to a "military grade" banana slicer and that it might not be appropriate for "field use."

The Hutlzer 571 Banana Slicer is certainly not the first item to receive this avalanche of interest and mock reviews. The most famous of the form is likely infamous "Three Wolf Moon" T-shirt, which garnered over 2,300 reviews and four and a half stars on Amazon.com. Reviews for this airbrushed marvel run the gamut from claims that it saved marriages to claims that it cured cancer and brought peace to the Middle East.

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