MORE

Phallic Foods and Other Tasty Treats at the Arizona Renaissance Festival

If you've been to the Arizona Renaissance Festival before, you know how the shows work. Most are wholesome, family-friendly entertainment: comedic storytellers, singing nuns, a prankster hypnotist. Then there are the shows labeled LC for "Loose Cannon" -- i.e. bring the kiddies at the risk of having to explain umpteen penis jokes to them later.

The food follows a similar pattern. Mainly, the faire offers foods designed to look like they'd fit into a Middle Ages feast. Turkey legs. Steak on a stake. Bread bowls (or "trenchers" if you're a Rennie) of stew. And then there are the "LC" foods, which give the adults a chuckle.

Good thing the kids just don't get it...
Good thing the kids just don't get it...

Chocolate didn't really catch on in Europe until the mid to late seventeenth century, and even then it was mainly available to nobles. Bananas were introduced earlier, though they weren't exactly commonplace. But who cares about historical accuracy when you can eat a chocolate-coated phallic symbol? With nuts, natch. There's also the sausage on a stick. And the pickle vendor.

Notice how one berry is always slightly bigger than the other.
Notice how one berry is always slightly bigger than the other.
Phallic Foods and Other Tasty Treats at the Arizona Renaissance Festival

You're not going to get gourmet eats at the AZ Renaissance Festival even if you partake in the six-course Pleasure Feast, which offers better but not exactly Michelin star-worthy fare. What you'll find is comforting, homey, F-U-N food that's messy to eat and socially acceptable to wear dribbling down your t-shirt.

Gnaw on one of these babies and your stress will melt away.
Gnaw on one of these babies and your stress will melt away.
The crepe maker in action.
The crepe maker in action.
The medieval McMuffin: A bacon, egg and cheese crepe.
The medieval McMuffin: A bacon, egg and cheese crepe.
For the low-carb dieters, there's always Steak on a Stake.
For the low-carb dieters, there's always Steak on a Stake.
Don't twist yourself in knots trying to find ballpark food here.
Don't twist yourself in knots trying to find ballpark food here.
The best reason to chow down at the faire: decently priced wine, beer and mead.
The best reason to chow down at the faire: decently priced wine, beer and mead.

Sponsor Content