PR stunts are common, and often bizarre, especially in the food world, but the latest one to come to our attention, this time in honor of National Bikini Day on July 5 (is there now a day for literally everything??), is downright wrong.
Villa Italia Kitchen, a pizza chain with a location in Arizona Mills in Tempe, has announced that it will be offering the "world's most mouthwatering (edible) bikini, make entirely of pizza!" Even typing that made me gag.
My mind is a flurry with questions, first of which is, will it be (in theory) donned while hot?
According to the release, the Pizza-Kini will be made using fresh dough, which will be braided around the top and waistband of an actual bikini, and embellished with whole milk mozzarella, fresh Californian tomato sauce, and dotted with pepperoni.
The bikini will only be available for order on July 5, and will cost you $10,000. This paltry sum includes the pizza consultation, at which time you will select your topping preferences and the pizza tailor(?) will take measurements. There will also be a final fitting.
This description alone invokes images in my mind of kinky finance guys and their model-thin girlfriends engaged in some kind of twisted roll play on their private jets.
Mimi Wunderlich, director of communications and digital marketing strategy for Villa Italian Kitchen, included a statement on their concept.
“This summer, we wanted to celebrate items that Americans truly love. After a few brainstorming sessions, and with assistance from our talented food stylist, Jessie Bearden, the Pizza-Kini was born. We look forward to providing this unique style to the pizza and bikini loving public this summer – we are confident it will be a hit.”
The absurdity of it is overshadowed by only one thing: The horror of the execution.
This is a pizza diaper. A hot, melty, puffy-pants, EDIBLE diaper.
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It is simply too bad not to share.
Those interested in placing an order for the "most delicious swimwear on earth" can do so by sending a direct message to Villa Italian Kitchen’s Facebook page.
If you do, please let us know. We have so many questions to ask you.