Despite overwhelming evidence that the American public is sick to death of Dominique Ansel's trendy pastry hybrid, the Cronut -- seriously, people, there's even scientific proof -- it seems food producers, or at least East Coast bakeries, aren't ready to give up on the trend just yet.
Proof: There currently are two different types of bagel/croissant mash-ups being hawked back east. And not just anywhere, but in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. Of course.
So how did this horrible iteration of the Cronut begin?
It began with the Crogel, a kettle-boiled and hearth-baked pastry made of croissant dough. The creation comes courtesy of grocery chain Stew Leonard's (the chain has four supermarkets in Connecticut and New York) and to be fair, doesn't look that bad. Described to Huffington Post as "crispy on the outside . . . buttery and flaky inside!" we can see how a Crogel might be an interesting take on two delicious breakfast foods, though why you need to combine them, no one will ever truly know.
And had we ended it right there, things might have been okay.
But things went south when The Bagel Store (that's the one in Brooklyn that you might have seen featured on the Food Network) unveiled the Cragel. Unlike the Crogel, the Cragel seems more like a flaky bagel thing that's sort of got the layers of a croissant but is shaped like a bagel and is also thick and cuttable.
Here's how Ross Helrich, an assistant to The Bagel Store's owner, described it on the Today show:
"The Cragel is the marriage of a croissant and a bagel. It's 100 percent happiness. It can be had as a breakfast sandwich, served with jam, whatever your heart desires."
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So basically, it sounds like a magical pastry that makes you happy and can be eaten any way you like. Unfortunately, according to field research (read: taste tests) done by New York Daily News, the Cragel is more like "a Cinnabon without the cinnamon, the raisins, the curl or the glaze." They're under the impression it would be more accurately called a "Dagel," since it tastes more like a Danish.
So anyway, we'll be over here. Eating a bagel. And a croissant. Separately.