One of the most crucial tenets of bartending (after knowing how to make drinks and faking interest in customers' sob stories) is to never stop learning, whether it's a new drink recipe or a lesson in human behavior.
After a decade of slinging drinks at Phoenix dive/neighborhood bars, "Evil" Jeannie Thein has learned enough about bartending to know that anytime she thinks she's seen it all, something new and ridiculous will inevitably happen. She's learned the same lesson about drink-making.
One of the most recent new drinks in Jeannie's repertoire came from an east coast bar that a friend of hers had wandered into on vacation.
"A buddy of mine called me from Boston," she says. "He goes, 'Hey Jeannie, I've got a drink for you. It's called a Lindsay Lohan!'"
What's in a Lindsay Lohan, you ask?
"It's a red-headed slut with a splash of coke," Jeannie says with a laugh. Ouch, sorry, Linds.
But one of her most infamous drinks is a Jeannie original, and a happy accident.
"I made it at 7 a.m. on a Tuesday, swear to God," she says. "I made it because our shots got warm, so I mixed them all together. It was three shots of Jägermeister, and one of them, I didn't realize, was coffee [flavored] tequila. I mixed 'em up, poured 'em out, and someone was like 'What was that?'"
Regarding a mysterious drink strong enough enough to wreak serious havoc, Jeannie said the first thing that came to mind.
"I guess it's a Chupacabra."
She insists that, disgusting as it may sound, the Chupacabra is delicious.
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SHOW ME HOW
Lock up your goats before consuming this beverage.
3 parts Jägermeister 1 part Patron XO Cafe coffee liqueur
Shake with ice and serve as a shot, or pour over ice for a cocktail.