Uh-oh. The competition's heating up and "Team Go Diva!," the clique of Zac, Heather, and Yigit is still in full force, completely unaware of how annoying Team Go Diva! is to everyone but them. Enough already!
Wednesday night's episode starts with Team Go Diva! speculating that Danielle should be the next to go home, which makes perfect sense, but everyone knows that whatever looks obvious on "reality" TV ain't gonna happen -- ratings, yo! Angry Heather agrees but wishes it were Morgan, because he's annoying, which is true. But what is also true is that Heather needs something to be angry with at all times or she may smile, which would cause her face to crack open and release tiny, winged unicorns into the atmosphere and create a level of happiness that we've never experienced.
Quickfire Challenge: (brought to you by Dawn Hand Renewal)
Gail walks in with Michael Laiskonis, executive pastry chef of Le Bernardin and kinda-creepy dude, and tells the chefs their challenge is to create a savory dessert using one pan (which can be washed multiple times thanks to Dawn Hand Renewal. Haven't you heard? Dawn Hand Renewal is like regular Dawn shooting up heroin and then getting you high when you touch it. Dawn Hand Renewal. We can't show the product enough! Are you buying it yet? Well, are you? Huh? Huh? Huh?)
Spoiler alerts ahead!
Zac confesses this challenge will be difficult because all he eats is potato chips and ice cream, which turns out to be the biggest lie ever. Morgan goes Morgan at the ingredient table and jabs Heather in the mouth saying something about not going to the post with Shaq 'cause he'll knock you on your ass, which means he likens himself to a 7-foot-tall, 325-pound man who makes millions of dollars a year not making pinafores. Erika (oh, hey, forgot about you) is pissed at Team Go Diva! for scamming all the bacon (Divas share only with Divas, duh.) Grrr!
In the end, the chef who eats only potato chips and ice cream wins with a steamed beet cake and sweet goat cheese cream, and then trades his immunity for 5,000 Dawn Hand Renewal dollars, which he will use to design, build, and furnish the Team Go Diva! super-amazing-fab-house (members only!).
The chefs have to cater desserts for a black and white anniversary party for the Los Angeles Times, which, for anyone who's picked up an actual newspaper in the past five years, will get the connection. Wait, what's a newspaper?
This challenge proves to be a tough one for the chefs, who are used to working with color. Zac laments that there's no black and white disco dust, and Danielle says she hates white foods like mayonnaise as she takes another hit of WTF weed.
Back in the dorm, some of the chefs are singing and dancing downstairs, and Morgan says that after a loud day in the kitchen, he doesn't want to be bothered by show tunes and flamboyance (translation: be tempted by gay people).
The next day, all hell brakes loose when Heather's white chocolate Rice Krispie treats go missing and Team Go Diva! starts pointing fingers at Morgan in a "Pea Puree II" scandal that's pointless and annoying and just helps Heather's face harden into a permanent scowl as she accuses Morgan of trying to sabotage her (sigh.) The party looks as boring as it sounded and is made even more so with way too much focus on what judge
Dannielle Kyrillos has to say. Hint: Nobody cares. Not now. Not ever.
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In the end, the boys were on the top and the girls were on the bottom (tee-hee!). Eric is complimented for his improved plating and Yigit of Team Go Diva! wins.
In the loser lineup of ladies, Heather gets called out for being stubborn and not embracing the challenge, Danielle's dessert was an arts and crafts project, and Erika's didn't taste good. In a reality TV "surprise" it's Erika, not Danielle, who goes home even though Danielle's been on the bottom so many times there's a depression in the floor where she stands. Erika? Really? It just don't seem right, right?
Tune in next week for a spin on Restaurant Wars and Team Go Diva! disbands -- what!?