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Will Someone Please Tell Jessica Porter What a MILF Is?

If there were a single reason the world should have ended when the ancient Mayans said it would, it might have been The MILF Diet.

See also: The PDT Cocktail Book: Does It Belong on Your Shelf?

But the world didn't end. And now, as of January 1, The MILF Diet, by Jessica Porter, who also wrote The Hip Chick's Guide to Macrobiotics, has been released so that its title can forever sear itself into our collective consciousness and cause women everywhere to slap their foreheads and exclaim, "What the f---, Jessica?"

Supposedly, The MILF Diet: Let the Power of Whole Foods Transform Your Body, Mind and Spirit Deliciously!, is Porter's answer to unleashing "your inner MILF" by eating whole, plant-based foods.

Think it can't get much creepier than the title? Oh, but it can.

According to Chow Bella's sister blog at L.A. Weekly, Squid Ink,, Porter thanks "My stepmother, Anna, a MILF and loving mentor" in the acknowledgements (ew!), divides the book into phases of "MILFification," and even boasts a chapter on MILF sex that states "a true MILF is sexy in a deep and powerful way. Because she eats whole and balanced foods, she is whole, and her chi runs through her unimpeded." Ugh.

With recipes such as Lemony Quinoa Salad; Oven-Roasted Root Vegetables with Garlic, Cumin, and Herbs; and Poached Pears with Raspberry Sauce, it's hard to see The MILF Diet as anything more than a health food cookbook with a hippie slant attempting to capitalize on a slang-y label Porter seems to understand very little.

For starters, it's a vulgar, misogynistic acronym that's rarely, if at all, used by women (her book's customer). And please, Jessica, women need another book telling them they need the approval of someone else to validate their bodies like they need more old men in Congress denying them free birth control.

I'm of the EWBGY (Eat Well and Be Good to Yourself) mindset. And if Jessica Porter wants to use that as her next cookbook title, she's more than welcome to it.

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