Serrano Time

I Chaperoned a Middle-School Valentine's Day Dance

By Shea Serrano
Feb 19, 2014

Editor's Note: Shea Serrano is an award-winning music writer and goofball whose recent exploits include Bun B's Rap Coloring and Activity Book, and writes this weekly column about his life and times. 3:20 p.m.: Today I am chaperoning our school's Valentine's Day dance. A line of about 100 kids is...
Things That Need to Happen at My Funeral

By Shea Serrano
Feb 13, 2014

Editor's Note: Shea Serrano is an award-winning music writer and goofball whose recent exploits include Bun B's Rap Coloring and Activity Book, and writes this weekly column about his life and times. Earlier this week, I went to the funeral of a person that I cared about. While I am...
These Are the Songs They Play at a Kid's Skating Rink Birthday Party

By Shea Serrano
Feb 5, 2014

Editor's Note: Shea Serrano is an award-winning music writer and goofball whose recent exploits include Bun B's Rap Coloring and Activity Book. In his column, he writes about his life and times. Among many other things, my twin six-year-olds sons think I am Manu Ginobili when the Spurs play basketball...
My Son Talked to God and Got Him to Cancel School

By Shea Serrano
Jan 29, 2014

Editor's Note: Shea Serrano is an award-winning music writer and goofball whose recent exploits include Bun B's Rapper Coloring and Activity Book. In his new column, he writes about his life and times. Perhaps you do not know this because you do not follow weather trends of the Southeastern United...
Here's Why You Shouldn't Have Your Kids Help with Your Book About Hip-Hop

By Shea Serrano
Jan 22, 2014

Notorious B.I.G., ready to die.[In his column Serrano Time, award-winning writer and goofball Shea Serrano writes about his life and times.] I am working on a new book. I cannot say too much about it yet, other than: 1. it's with the same company that published Bun B's Rap Coloring...
Pitbull's "Timber," featuring Ke$ha: Why This Video Sucks

By Phoenix New Times
Jan 8, 2014

SheaEditor's Note: Shea Serrano is an award-winning music writer and goofball whose recent exploits include Bun B's Rapper Coloring and Activity Book. Right now, Pitbull's "Timber," featuring Ke$ha, is number two on Billboard and number one on my GTFOH chart. I don't remember the first time I heard -- it seems...
A Few Ways 2014 Could Help Make Hip-Hop Less Terrible

By Phoenix New Times
Jan 2, 2014

Shea Note: in his column Serrano Time, award-winning writer and goofball Shea Serrano writes about his life and times. Dear 2013, Oh, man. So you're officially over. That's kind of sad. You were mostly a very dope year -- at least for me, anyway, and truth be told, that's all...
Take This Kanye West Quiz. It Has Funny Illustrated Clues!

By Phoenix New Times
Dec 18, 2013

All illustrations by me. I'm Shea. [Editor's Note: In his column Serrano Time, award-winning writer and goofball Shea Serrano writes about his life and times.] This game is very simple: Look at the pictures and guess what Kanye West song each one represents. Boom. That's it. That's all. You're done...
Eminem and Rihanna's "The Monster": Why This Song Sucks

By Phoenix New Times
Dec 11, 2013

[Editor's Note: In his column Serrano Time, award-winning writer and goofball Shea Serrano writes about his life and times.] Song: Eminem's "The Monster," featuring Rihanna History: Eminem did a freestyle battle. He went up against Papa Doc and choked. It was pretty sad. Then some more sad stuff happened to...
R. Kelly's Black Panties, as Reviewed by Adorable Baby Animal GIFs

By Phoenix New Times
Dec 5, 2013

[Editor's Note: In his column Serrano Time, award-winning scribe and goofball Shea Serrano writes about his life and times.] Here's what you need to know about Robert Sylvester Kelly: He's the fucking best. At singing. At wearing masks. At making videos of himself having sex. All of it. And so...
How to Accidentally Become a Drug Dealer

By Phoenix New Times
Nov 27, 2013

Courtesy of UniversalSheaface [Editor's Note: In his column Serrano Time, award-winning scribe and goofball Shea Serrano writes about his life and times.] The biggest concern in my life recently is that every show on my DVR is the regular definition version, rather than the high definition version. As you can...
Here's What Happens When You Piss Off a Bunch of Directioners

By Phoenix New Times
Nov 20, 2013

One Direction[Editor's Note: In his column Serrano Time, award-winning scribe and goofball Shea Serrano writes about his life and times.] Last week, I wrote about why One Direction's "This Is My Story" sucks. Usually, whenever one of these pieces goes up (and they go up often), I get a handful...
One Direction's "Story of My Life": Why This Song Sucks

By Phoenix New Times
Nov 13, 2013

Courtesy of Columbia/SycoZayn and the crew[Editor's Note: In his column Serrano Time, award-winning writer and goofball Shea Serrano writes about his life and times.] Song: One Direction's "Story Of My Life" History: A long time ago, there were barbershop quartets. After that, there were the New Kids on the Block,...
Katy Perry's "Roar": Why This Song Sucks

By Phoenix New Times
Nov 6, 2013

[Editor's Note: In his column Serrano Time, award-winning writer and goofball Shea Serrano writes about his life and times (and Katy Perry's "Roar."] History: Katy Perry was born in 1984, except back then people called her "Katy Hudson" because that's her real name. In 2001, she was like, "You know...
A Brief Rundown of VH1's Bonkers TLC Movie

By Phoenix New Times
Oct 23, 2013

TLC/Courtesy of VH1[Editor's Note: In his new column, award-winning goofball Shea Serrano writes about his life and times. Better put on your shoes because your socks are about to be blown off.] On Monday night I watched a movie about TLC, the most important all-girl rap group of all-time. It...