Johnny Rotten once described love as “two minutes and fifty-two seconds of squishy sounds." While we disagree with the time (isn’t it more like 15 minutes?), we dig the cynicism, especially around Valentine’s Day. However, even heartbroken, bitter men and women can enjoy Sweet Heart Day at the Arizona Science...
Every Valentine’s Day, happy couples snuggle by roaring fires while sipping champagne. Lucky sons of bitches. The rest of us wear black and get blitzed on PBR alone at home. Sigh. Thankfully, there’s a better option: the Valentine's Day Massicree. Don't let the name scare you. These guys aren't actually...
Editor's Note: As a staff writer for Phoenix New Times, award-winning journalist Terry Greene Sterling reported for years on the political brawls and human tragedies that have made Arizona the epicenter for the national immigration debate. Sterling is now a contributor for The Daily Beast, and Writer-in-Residence at the Walter...
Perhaps you’ve heard about the Boston electro-pop quintet Passion Pit’s backstory: Two years ago, falsetto voiced frontman Michael Angelakos – then just a dude making tunes by himself in his bedroom – wrote a batch of fizzy love songs to give to his girlfriend as a Valentine’s Day present (which...
I grew up in a household that was extremely self-sufficient. As soon as you were old enough (tall enough) to open the fridge, or reach the controls for the washer, you were on your own. Ever since I could touch those washer knobs, I've been doing my own laundry —...
The St. Valentine’s Day Music-Art Expo might be what your heart desires on February 14. Besides boxing matches between members of the Arizona Derby Dames, the offbeat V-Day affair will feature the works of 20 local painters and numerous tattoo artists, race cars, off-road trucks, and live music by BORG,...
At first glance, the SkirtChaser Race Series sounds like it might boil the blood of a feminist or two. A gaggle of well-toned female racers, many clad in specialty micro-mini skirts made for runners, will take off from the starting line at Tempe Beach Park and engage in a five-kilometer...
Things with big hearts: elephants, Valentine’s Day cards, teen-girl signatures, Denver Nuggets guard Chauncey Billups. Things with no hearts: amoebas, Tin Woodsmen, slumlords, former Nuggets guard Allen Iverson. Since the early-season Denver-Detroit swap of Iverson for Billups, the latter’s hard, smart play has ratcheted the Nuggets up a notch in...
Valentine’s Day gift ideas: Roses. Candy. Hallmark. Shooter’s World Guns and Roses Range Package. Shooter’s World owner Phil Roux understates the case when he calls his venue’s smokin’ deal “a non-traditional date idea.” For a reasonable $99.99, the facility will provide couples an hour of target time, firearms rentals, a...
Maybe you like it nice and slow. Yes, maybe you orgasm to a combination of walnut-oil massages, candlelight, and tastefully ribboned cock. Then again, you’re probably like the rest of us who get off on being tenderly bludgeoned by a grandpa cane. Bless your soul. However you like it, unleash...
It’s Valentine’s Day, and no amount of porn will save you from this feeling of emptiness. Worldwide, people are going at it like beavers at a dam, and all you can do is pick lamely at your chastity belt. Mission Semen Receptacle has just been classified impossible. But instead of...
No two ways about it, pal, you screwed the pooch. Bigtime. Your forgetful ass was too busy watching Survivor and Lipstick Jungle to recall that Valentine’s Day was yesterday, fool. Though the situation ain’t as bad as that one V-Day when you proposed a visit to the local swingers’ club,...
