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WANNA SEE BETTE DAVIS’ BUTT?

David Parker lovingly unwraps a plastic baggie and carefully flattens it on the coffee table. Inside the bag are the remains of a badly disintegrated cigarette butt. Most of the tobacco has long since fallen out, and one end of the crumpled paper bears a faintly visible crimson smear. As...
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SOMETHING TO INFURIATE EVERYONE

Notebook: Last year was fun. It was full of constant surprises. There were miraculous shots that won games. Almost every night at America West Arena was a combination of Christmas and the Fourth of July. When Charles Barkley wasn't dominating the backboards, he was stealing balls and thundering three-quarters of...
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ARIZONA’S OWN J. EDGAR HOOVER

Officers Ruben Ortega and Ralph Milstead walked into the Bridge Tavern one afternoon to arrest a small-time addict for a burglary he had committed to finance his habit. In years to follow, Ortega and Milstead would become two of the most powerful law enforcement figures in Arizona, heading the Phoenix...
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DO THE SUNS NEED KJ ANYMORE?

You're Kevin Johnson, once a spectacular performer. But now you must hear the whispers that the Phoenix Suns are a better basketball team without you. At this point, you don't know how much longer it will take before your various physical ailments will allow you to return to the lineup...
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Shades of Suspicion

At first, it seemed like a routine shoplifting case, recalls Phoenix police detective Larry Stubbs. "I've been a cop for 23 years," says Stubbs, who investigated the case late last year, "and this is the only time I can remember a shoplifter who says he was innocent who apparently was...
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Bound For Glory

Two years ago, Denzel Washington earned an Academy Award best-supporting-actor nomination for his portrayal of South African black-consciousness leader Stephen Biko in Cry Freedom. Then he waited for the big offers to pour in. Then he waited some more. And some more . . . What about the critical acclaim,...
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EROS IN JUDGMENT

Recently, the Tucson Police Department's child-abuse detail confiscated artwork by local artist-photographer Robyn Stoutenburg from the city's downtown Gallery Six & 13--without a validly executed search warrant. Twelve of the artist's photographs were seized after the principal of an adjacent middle school complained of the propriety and accessibility of the...
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The Screening Meemies

It was the best of times; it was the worst of times. The best if you were selling tickets; the worst if you were buying them. And now, only one question remains. Will film historians of the future refer to this as "The Heaven's Gate Decade," "The Ishtar Decade," or...
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CHUY’S REBORN, AND SO IS PATCH THE PIRATE

Writing this is not going to be easy. On the way down to the New Times command center this past, glorious Super Bowl Sunday, I drove through the drive-through at Omega Burger. Bacon cheeseburger, onion rings, soda; an American meal. Now here's the ugly part: As I made my way...
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Phoenix Says Goodbye to Kareem–Twice

They will sentence Kareem Abdul-Jabbar within the hour. The courtroom is in the old Phoenix Union High School. "Where can I find Kareem's courtroom?" I ask. The receptionist on the main floor doesn't have to check her chart. "You mean that basketball player?" she asks. I nod. "Down the stairs...
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Top Guns

When word leaks out that you're going to be interviewing Mel Gibson and Danny Glover, the stars of Lethal Weapon and its new sequel, called (what else?) Lethal Weapon 2, you can count on getting two reactions. Reaction No. 1 (from females of all ages): "MEL GIBSON?!? Oh, my God!...
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The Who, What and Wow of Geena Davis

If there is a normal career path for Academy Award-winning actresses, Geena Davis certainly isn't following it. Prior to being Oscarized in March for her performance in The Accidental Tourist as a dog trainer at the Meow Bow Animal Hospital who is in love with a reluctant travel writer, Davis'...
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A Bitter Courtship

The long, lean black man takes a break from tinkering with a car beneath the South Phoenix sun. Drenched with sweat, he falls onto a tattered couch under a paloverde tree. "I remember sitting under a shade tree as a kid watching my dad fix a car," the man says,...
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My Brew Heaven

Special message to readers from Cap'n Dave: This is the second installment of my special guest-review program, by which I goof off for several weeks and have my friends do all the work, at least until the new serious restaurant reviewer punches in on March 14. This week it's Tom...
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Let the Good Tines Roll

Prior to the Eighties, the desert dining scene might best be characterized by its cheap (but delectable) chimichanga chow and its pretty (but indigestible) resort restaurant ambiance. Even as late as 1979-1/2, high-tone Valley victualizing often meant the likes of generic Veal Oscar and canned vegetables, albeit served in beautiful...
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Whistler’s Art and Attitude

During one of the few days he actually appeared for work at the United States Coast and Geodetic Survey, James Abbott McNeill Whistler executed a small engraving of an island in the Santa Barbara Channel off the coast of California. Because he was Whistler, he could not resist adding some...
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Special Delivery

If the Guinness Book of World Records has a category for Shortest Radio Talk-Show Appearance, I'm a shoo-in to make the next edition. In my role as New Times/KTAR-AM radio film critic, I was all set to go on Michael Dixon's midday program to chat about the previous night's Oscar-doling...
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Aural Fixation

City Sights 'n' Sounds, Phoenix's noontime nod to the muses in Patriots Square, is under siege. By Oscar the Grouch. The daily one-hour serving of live music is the only regular, cheap cultural alternative to dirty-movie houses within miles of downtown. But someone in that swarm of high-rises surrounding the...
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Arizona’s Innocents Abroad

When the Babbitts abandoned Arizona to pursue the White House, they bequeathed Evan Mecham and Rose Mofford to those of us left behind. Not content with this questionable legacy, the Babbitts have once again taken to the road, most recently to midwive the birth of democracy in the unlikely precincts...
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FEAR IN THEIR HEARTS,FIRE IN THEIR WORDS

"Ric Rankins did not die in vain," the speaker shouted last Sunday night. "His death has created a new spirit in this community." The crowd packed into the low-ceilinged meeting hall of the church on Broadway and 19th Street cheered. Seated in the front row were black political leaders state...