2012 Survival Manual - November/December 2010

Keep New Times Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Phoenix and help keep the future of New Times free.

This zine probably won't help someone avert 2012's end of the world catastrophe. What the DIY publication can do is provide the exact lighthearted fare you'll want to read after such a serious happening as the so-called end of the Mayan calendar.

Written and drawn by Tristan Jemsek, the Jobot barista and longtime musician (who's a member of Uggamugga, Dogbreth, Trough, and the first incarnation of Father's Day, just to name a few of the, like, 100 bands he's in) goes a bit esoteric in his debut "book," as he calls it.

It's not a book at all, and to call it that is a wee bit pretentious. Or maybe it's a joke we're not in on. In any case, the key to enjoying Jemsek's 2012 Survival Manual is to lighten up, dude.

Once engaged with the meat of the pamphlet, readers with the right attitude will find a purposely-goofball compilation of to-do lists and random musings that are as sincere as they are funny. There are also a number of drawings that are peppered with a golly-gosh wit, such as the LOL two-panel comic of Tom Brokaw and a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.

The most hilarious part, however, is the author's bio. Written nonchalantly on the inside back cover, the four-sentence life story is a seemingly telling-tale-tales affair about being born on a waterbed, holding a third-degree brown belt in karate, and a ho-hum mention of a former career as a Medieval re-enactor. Tidbits, as New Times confirmed with Jemsek's employer, are actually 100-percent true; thus proving the point that, as in most cases, truth is stranger (and funnier) than fiction.

Number of Pages, Including Front and Back Covers: 12

Cost: Free

Spots to Pick Up: Trunk Space, Jobot

Representative Sentences: As said by a drawing of a jovial-looking pizza with two arms and two legs, "What's a pizza's favorite soda? Slice!"

Keep Phoenix New Times Free... Since we started Phoenix New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Phoenix, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Phoenix with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.


Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Phoenix.


Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Phoenix.