We almost went with Lando Calrissian for this spot instead of the actor himself, but it just wouldn’t be fair to the other several decades that this 'stache has graced Williams’ face. Plus, Star Wars has always been woefully short on great facial hair, so here’s hoping Williams gets to bring that back to a galaxy far, far away very, very soon.
The Swedish Chef
You too would mumble incoherently if you were a Muppet with a mustache that awesome.
Superthin pencil mustaches are almost never cool, but John Waters rocks one better than anyone. It goes perfectly with his hilarious/creepy/off-putting (depending on whom you ask) vibe, and his look wouldn’t be the same without it. It’s not an easy aesthetic to pull off, but nothing that Waters does is normal — and we wouldn’t want it any other way.
If there’s ever a rock 'n' roll facial hair hall of fame, Freddie Mercury is undoubtedly getting in on the first ballot. Outside of ZZ Top, Mercury’s mustache might be the most famous facial hair in music history.
These days, baseball is full of beards of all sizes. That wasn’t always the case. Back in the day, there were glorious mustaches to be had in just about every sport, but no mustache was quite as flawless as A’s, Brewers, and Padres pitcher Rollie Fingers. Fingers was a great pitcher, but his stats and career pale in comparison to the icon located just under his nose.
Yes, he sucks and said awful, racist things, but Hogan’s mustache game is legendarily strong. Nothing wrong with that, brother.
We’d like to think if a mustache could have a mustache, it would want to have Tom Selleck’s mustache. Selleck is famous for having the gentleman’s mustache of gentleman’s mustaches, and it’s always looked immaculate.
Personally, we like Elliott’s mustache best in The Big Lebowski, but no matter what style of 'stache you prefer on the actor, his whiskers are always topnotch. Seeing Elliott and Ron Swanson in a room together during Parks and Rec was almost too much for our mustache-loving hearts.
Yeah, that Hitler guy totally ruined Chaplin’s mustache flow, but it’s still an iconic look for one of the world’s original comedic film stars. Also, shoutout to Groucho Marx for making a very similar style of mustache all his own.
One of history’s craziest painters also had one of history’s craziest mustaches. Hipsters wish they could use enough mustache wax to pull off what Dali was doing for much of the last century. Anyone who has his facial hair curled up to his eyeballs deserves a permanent spot in the mustache hall of fame.
When you stop to think about it, it’s pretty incredible that Mario has the time to perfectly groom his mustache in between whooping Bowser and saving Princess Peach. Heck, he even bails Luigi out of trouble a few times, and we’d be willing to bet he gives his brother mustache tips on the reg, too.
Like there was ever any question. It’s the gold standard for mustaches. Period.
Editor's note: This post has been updated from its original version, which first appeared in November 2015.