What are you planning for you're your appearance at the Orpheum on Friday?
I've got a live 90-minute stage show. It's stand up, sort of a one-man show. It's multimedia, with a little bit of improv worked in and it's not a live podcast or anything like that. It's stories and jokes and there's some visuals that will go along with it so it won't be just me standing there talking.
There'll be a big screen set up and it's basically like this, if I'm talking about how fat my dog Molly is, you'll be looking at a picture of my actual dog Molly and how fat she is while I'm talking about her. So, you don't have to take my word for anything.
So if you discuss douche-baggery and why you hate L.A., then the audience will see stuff up on the screen from that?
Yeah, I will show you many examples of why I hate L.A. and you will see it firsthand. It cuts off the part of the joke where I have to set it up and you get right to the meat part of it. Honestly, it's easier on me because i don't have to stand there and talk for 90 minutes -- which I do anyway -- but what I mean is I have visual aids and the other part of it is it feels a little more contemporary in that people are used to having images come at them. It's funner for me, it's funner for the audience.
What else do you hate about L.A.?
It's never ending. I don't know where to begin. The schools are unusable, the mayor's an idiot. Everything is a disaster. It's horrible, you can't go to a Dodgers game. It's a piece of shit, it's a horrible town.
And I've said this, I did this article for L.A. Magazine, and they asked a bunch of guys were born and bred in Los Angeles what their favorite moment or their favorite whatevers about L.A., and here's what I had to say about the city: The thing that's nice about L.A. is you can get to the ocean in a half an hour or you can get to the mountains in two hours, the weather's great, the topography is cool and all the things that are great about L.A. have nothing to do with the mayor or the city council.
Phoenix has been described as a "mini Los Angeles." So do you automatically hate Phoenix ?
I haven't lived there. If I lived there, I'm sure I would learn to hate it. All I know about Phoenix is they are always a great crowd for me. And I've come in and stayed in Scottsdale, so what the hell do I know? The last time I was in Phoenix I think I was at the Tempe Improv and I stayed in Scottsdale and I'm sure that's not the wrong side of the tracks. It looked like a bunch of rich white people walking around looking for places to eat. Phoenix seems good place to me being from L.A., plus Jimmy Kimmel's parents live there so how bad could it be?