An Ode to Liz Lemon: The 30 Greatest Lines from 30 Rock | Jackalope Ranch | Phoenix | Phoenix New Times | The Leading Independent News Source in Phoenix, Arizona
Navigation

An Ode to Liz Lemon: The 30 Greatest Lines from 30 Rock

The end is nigh. 30 Rock-aholics will say farewell to Tina Fey's sitcom when its one-hour season finale airs on January 31. The two-parter is the last installment of farty nerd goddess Liz Lemon's adventures, and it promises guest appearances from Salma Hayek, Julianne Moore, T-Pain, and Nancy Pelosi, among...
Share this:

The end is nigh. 30 Rock-aholics will say farewell to Tina Fey's sitcom when its one-hour season finale airs on January 31.

The two-parter is the last installment of farty nerd goddess Liz Lemon's adventures, and it promises guest appearances from Salma Hayek, Julianne Moore, T-Pain, and Nancy Pelosi, among others. If season seven has been any indication, diehards will be pleased with the wrap-up. (Fingers crossed.)

Based on Hayek and Moore's scheduled appearances, it seems like the episodes will focus on Jack Donaghy's love life. After that's resolved, fans of L.L. and her band of TGS goofballs will have nothing but reruns to rejoice in. For that reason, we've decided to look back on some of our favorite quotes from 30 Rock's run.

See also: - Nine Favorite 30 Rock Moments (VIDEO) - Guilty Television Pleasures: In Defense of Gossip Girl - The Movies to Know from Sundance -- and the Year Ahead

30. "I'm a star. I'm on top. Somebody bring me some ham!" - Liz Lemon

29. "I can't change! I'm like a chameleon, always a lizard." - Tracy Jordan

28. "Never go with a hippie to a second location." - Jack Donaghy

27. "I'm gonna to have to reinvent you. Break you down completely, and build you up from scratch. Just like Mickey Rourke did to me sexually." - Jenna Maroney

26. "As you know, my single, 'My Single Is Dropping,' is dropping." - Angie Jordan

25. "Maybe someday, we'll live in a world where you ask us to pretend to be scientists." - Dotcom

24. "You know my every thought, Beth. We really were the Sam and Diane of this place." - Grizz

23. "Where are my manners? This is Florida. Let me boil up a pot of hot Gatorade. Is blue okay?" - Martha

22. "Well suit yourself, but my son Spider-Man turned out just fine." - Milton Greene

21. "All pregnancies are hysterical. They're started by penises." - Dr. Leo Spaceman

20. "I may have sodomized our former Vice President while under the influence of some weapons-grade narcotics. It feels good to say that out loud actually." - Jack

19. "Who's got two thumbs, speaks limited French, and hasn't cried once today? This moi." - Liz

18. "I'm doing God's work here in Africa. Why just yesterday I kicked two naked people out of a garden." - Tracy

17. "Tell him his mother's here. And she loves him. But not in a queer way." - Colleen Donaghy

16. "I didn't give up when Eric Roberts abandoned me in the desert and I won't now." - Jenna

15. "Oh, I forgot to warn you about my dog, Tracy Sr. I trained him to hate white people. Because, not to profile, but most ghosts are white." - Tracy

14. "Ambition is the willingness to kill the things you love and eat them in order to stay alive. Haven't you ever read my throw pillow?" - Jack

13. "When is modern science going to find the cure for a woman's mouth?" - Dr. Spaceman

12. "Mother, there are terrorist cells more nurturing than you are." - Jack

11. "This racket is a fart!" - Dr. Drew Baird10. "Prenatal vitamins. Yeah, I know what 'prenatal' means. 'Pre-', before; '-natal', ruined. " - Dennis Duffy

9. "As we all know, the decadent Western journalist-spy Laura Ling left us because she can't party as hard as we can. I know, right? But now, another American reporter has come to North Korea because it's awesome and we have enough food. Her name is Avery Jessup and, like me, her hair is blonde." - Kim Jong-Il

8. "No. I would never do that to you! Get you drunk on salmon? Or any fish!" - Floyd DeBarber

7. "That word bums me out unless it's between meat and pizza." - Liz referring to the word "lovers"

6. "If there's one thing I learned from you, Jack, it's to keep your friends close and your enemies so close that you're almost kissing." - Devon Banks

5. "Last time I taught I was like Robin Williams in Dead Poets Society, by which I mean I got fired." - Pete Hornberger

4. "I don't drink coffee, sir, I don't drink hot liquids of any kind. That's the devil's temperature." - Kenneth Parcell

3. "I want to go to there." - Liz

2. "Who is Conan O'Brien and why is she so sad?" - Bucky Bright

1. "Here's some advice I wish I would've got when I was your age: Live every week like it's Shark Week." - Tracy

Follow Jackalope Ranch on Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest.

KEEP NEW TIMES FREE... Since we started New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Phoenix, and we'd like to keep it that way. Your membership allows us to continue offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food, and culture with no paywalls. You can support us by joining as a member for as little as $1.