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Apocalypse Soon: Five Hopes for the Next (er, Remaining) Two Years

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The end is nigh!

According to the Mayan calender, we have 729 days until the end of the world (Dec. 21, 2012).

In the interest of seeing that the next two years are the best two years ever, we have a few suggestions:

1. The Nationwide Legalization of Marijuana
Canada has the right idea and Arizona is one step closer.  If the world is going to end, then why not spend our remaining two years on the planet enjoying munchies, 80s movies and videogames. Cheetos taste better, the Karate Kid is way more epic (Sweep the leg!), and getting shot in the face in Halo is less discouraging.  Smoke 'em if you got 'em!
2. The Cubs Win a World Series
Before the world is consumed in a fiery blaze, or drowned in an epic tidal wave it would be nice to see the Cubs win... something.  A one hundred and two year losing streak is a long time to to spend not spraying champagne all over each other in celebration.  Come on guys, you've got two years to break the streak! After that, you're S.O.L.

3. A Water Powered Car

A car that uses water as fuel and expels oxygen is the equivalent of every environmentalist, eco-engineer and tree hugger's wet dream (ha-ha).  A car that not only doesn't burn fossil fuels but adds vital oxygen to our atmosphere would go a long way to combat global warming. However, by the time this is made possible for the mass market it may be too late! Come on science, step up!

Even though it is slated to come out in 2012, it will probably be a holiday release.  Given the short amount of time between the beginning of the holiday season and the Apocalypse there is an alarmingly short amount of time to enjoy Christopher Nolan's, hopefully awesome, follow up to The Dark Knight.  Here is hoping for an early summer release!

5. Cybernetic Implants

Come on! Who doesn't want this? Computers implanted directly in to our brains? With cybernetic implants we could control iTunes with our minds, see better than a hawk, and be able to jump across the Grand Canyon.  The possibilities are endless! We are definitely looking forward to the day that we can buy a drink by swiping our thumb across the bar. It is closer than you think. 

Let's just hope this doesn't happen...

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Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Phoenix.