Axel Rose

We never thought we’d recommend something with the word “Smucker’s” in the title. (For one thing, we prefer Welch’s, the jelly underdog.) And we never imagined we’d advocate anything called “Stars on Ice,” because we’re not between the ages of 5 and 13 or 65 and 80. But we must admit that we know how to spell Evgeni Plushenko and can tell the difference between a double axel and a triple Salchow.

Still, we mostly obsess about skating during the Olympics, like everybody else, and this Smucker’s Stars on Ice deal would’ve blipped right past the radar if it weren’t for the tagline “featuring Sasha Cohen.” Sasha Cohen! Holy crap! Granted, we’ll have to suffer through an interminable cast of supporting stiffs, but seeing the ice world’s It Girl should soften the blow.

So why is Cohen all that? Well, she’s a bantam hellcat on blades, she looks hot in a micro skirt, and unlike, say, Anna Kournikova, she hasn’t cashed in her looks for lucre. Mostly, though, it’s her ingenuous, fresh-scrubbed allure. She’s sexy, for sure, but also sugar-sweet — like cherry jam. Welch’s, of course.

Check out the reigning Olympic silver medalist and 2006 U.S. Nationals champ.

Sat., Feb. 16, 7:30 p.m., 2008
KEEP PHOENIX NEW TIMES FREE... Since we started Phoenix New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Phoenix, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Clay McNear
Contact: Clay McNear