Bleeding Hearts

SAT 2/12
The tough chicks of Arizona Roller Derby aren't your typical suckers for Valentine's Day. In fact, give a Roller girl a rose, and she might just crush your heart. No, really, she might just rip the pulsing muscle out of your chest and blade right over it -- just because she can. In the spirit of blood and tough love (but mostly blood), check out Arizona Roller Derby's St. Valentine's Day Massacre at 8 p.m. Saturday, February 12. The massacre matches the Surly Gurlies with the Smash Squad at Castle Sports Club, 11420 North 19th Avenue, and features live music from Grave Danger, and Calabrese. Anyone with a pair of skates and a thick skin can join in the fun, as long as you're 18 and willing to take a few knocks for the team. Advance tickets are $10; proceeds go to the March of Dimes. Call 602-331-2582 or see -- Ashlea Deahl

Country Miles

Bike event covers Phoenix on two wheels

SUN 2/13
Spin your spokes at the Laveen Country Challenge Bicycle Tour on Sunday, February 13. Three rides -- covering 62.5, 30, and 15 miles, respectively -- leave from the Laveen School, 5001 West Dobbins in Laveen. Registration costs $30 to $35 and begins at 7 a.m. the day of the rides. Call 602-237-2745. -- Niki D'Andrea

Pop Flies

College baseball makes a Surprise appearance

The Sun Devils teach the world to swing -- for the fences, that is -- beginning Friday, February 11, when the Arizona State University baseball team hosts the third annual Coca-Cola Spring Training Classic at Surprise Stadium, 15960 North Bullard Avenue. Oklahoma, Southern Alabama and Gonzaga will compete against the Devils in games through Sunday, February 13. It was at last year's Classic that the ASU pun-producing, er, run-producing machine saw its NCAA-record, 506-game scoring streak fizzle out against Oklahoma. For tickets, call 480-784-4444. -- Joe Watson

We've Got Big Balls

Kicking it in Gilbert

SAT 2/12
Arizona must be one of the last vestiges for hard-core sports, since New Jersey and New York both banned dodgeball from public schools. And some states allow dodgeball only if the ball is made of soft foam. Apparently, that's safer than, say, a bowling ball. Well, there'll be no "dodgepuff" games goin' when Freestone Recreation Center, 1141 East Guadalupe in Gilbert, hosts a dodgeball tournament on Saturday, February 12. Teams of eight will be pitchin' and ditchin' in a best two-out-of-three, double-elimination contest. Winners receive custom tournament champions tee shirts. Losers get black eyes and bruises. The rubber balls fly at 8:45 a.m. Call 480-503-6202. -- Niki D'Andrea

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Niki D'Andrea has covered subjects including drug culture, women's basketball, pirate radio stations, Scottsdale staycations, and fine wine. She has worked at both New Times and Phoenix Magazine, and is now a freelancer.
Contact: Niki D'Andrea
Ashlea Deahl
Joe Watson