Bride of a Lifetime

So the feet-dragging commitment phobe who's been stringing you along for the past seven years finally broke down and popped the question over the holidays? Well, ladies, I personally think you can do better, and that you're just feeling pressure to conform to a social norm and probably working out some sort of subconscious childhood inadequacy issues. And remember how Mr. Right behaved that time at the Contemporary Fiction Discussion Group? Yeah, well, that alone should tell you he's still got some growing up to do. But if you're determined to sell yourself short, then tell your folks to hock the house, and then head down to the Bridal Fashion Debut.

The idea behind the massive annual expo of wedding paraphernalia -- it calls itself the "largest bridal show in the west" -- slated from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Sunday, January 14, in the Phoenix Civic Plaza Ballroom, is that it enables you to plan a whole wedding in a day. It features, to begin with, gowns out the wazoo -- four fashion shows' worth -- at 9 a.m., 11 a.m., 1 p.m. and 3 p.m. These shows will also feature bridesmaids' gowns, so that you can pick out something seriously hideous with which to humiliate your friends and make yourself look all the better by comparison, as well as tuxes, so that at least you'll see him dressed up once.

The event at Bridal Fashion Debut that sounds most promising in terms of potential prenuptial amusement is the ongoing "Battle of the Wedding Bands," in which soloists and ensembles ranging from string quartets, harp-and-flute duos and vocalists to cover-cranking reception combos show their stuff.

All this is in addition to booths at which the services of photographers, invitation printers, florists, caterers and the like may be engaged. Coupons and prizes amounting to more than $100,000 are to be given away throughout the day, along with one free bridal gown each hour and a pair of Suns tickets each hour. Admission is $8 per person at the door. For details call 480-451-9718.

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M.V. Moorhead
Contact: M.V. Moorhead