Bucket List: Five Things to Do in Phoenix Before Saturday's Rapture

If the fanatical rantings of the evangelical wingnuts at Family Life Radio are to be believed, only three days remain until The Rapture occurs on Saturday

If you've been good (or listened to a lot of Harold Camping), that means getting beamed directly to the Pearly Gates to spend eternity partying while the rest of us heathens experience the end of the world. 

Since it will be a one-way ticket, you might want to experience one last blast of Earthly delights over the next 72 hours before shedding thy mortal coil and getting fitted for a halo. Carpe diem. 

1. Spend Dawn or Dusk @ South Mountain:
If there are two (great) things that our fair state is known for, they're spectacular sunrises and sunsets. And there is no better place to see either than the highest point in Phoenix as the sun casts an amber and pink glow across the Valley landscape.

2. Get Airborne @ Fighter Combat International:
The souls that are lucky enough to be called home will kiss the sky during their flight to Heavenly Father's embrace. For those who'd like a sneak preview (or would just like to be at the controls of a fighter plane), this East Valley flight school offers Top Gun-style dogfights and flights featuring twisting and turning aerial acrobatics.

3. Chillax in the VIP Section @ Myst:
What better way to spend your final hours than watching clubgoers behave badly and living it up like a pimp on the night before The Rapture. Pop some bottles or sup on strawberries and cream in one of Myst's stylish private booths overlooking the dance floor. It might just go along way at impressing a few of the hotties house. After all, it's not like you have to worry about calling them in the morning.

4. Spend a Night @ The Phoenician:
If you've only got one last night on Earth, perhaps it should be spent enjoying the classy concierge service, and utter oppulence of this five star resort. Spend some time at the spa, relax by the pool, or get in a final meal at T Cook's. If it's good enough for the upper crust and captain of industry, it's good enough for you. 

5. Rent a Hot Ride @ Scottsdale Exotic Car Rentals:
Spent your entire life driving that hooptie Honda? Consider taking a spin in a far more regal ride. Cruising the streets will be much a cooler experience if you're rocking the Porsche Boxster, Mercedes SL 500 roadster, or a Corvette C6 convertible, yo. If you're feeling the need to make a big statement, the joint also leases out luxury SUVs like the Hummer H2.

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Benjamin Leatherman is a staff writer at Phoenix New Times. He covers local nightlife, music, culture, geekery, and fringe pursuits.